ricecakes wrote:Loogan
Struth.
Interesting post thanks.
So do you identify ( hate that word ) as bi-sexual ?
I am reading your post as you are married but possibly still cruise guys anonymously ?
Why were you horrified to have been found out as having had sex with males ? Honestly if your wife, kids and friends know....who cares what anyone else thinks so why the horror ??
Genuine questions.
rc
Thanks Rice cake, I've always wanted to address these issues but was too afraid to.
Yes I guess I do identify as bisexual. But again I have never had a relationship nor wish to with a guy. Having been abused obviously programmed me to not be uncomfortable about it. But unfortunately it also made me a sex addict which remains to this day. It hasn't been easy because I've never really thought of it as a problem. In the early years of girlfriends I was up front about it. Most were accepting and a couple even thought it was cool. My openness and ability to joke about it made them trust me somehow. And yes I have always continued to step out and meet up with guys for a "walk on the wild side"
When I met my wife I was totally upfront about it and she accepted it mostly. It was hard on her at times because she had to trust that that was all that I was up to and didn't have a girlfriend on the side.
Of course working in the construction field and hearing Macho talk about fags this and fags that was terrifying as I didn't want to be the laughing stock or the center of attention. Luckily I wasn't effeminate or never raised suspicion in any other way but that is a terrible burden to have to carry.
The ironic part about it is that I meet all the time people exactly like me only they have never been able to admit it to their wives and families and carrie worst guilt and burden than I do.
I've had to fight a couple times when someone actually did find out and tried to use it against me or start calling names. My brother-in-law has a big mouth and doesn't mind talking about it to anybody at inappropriate times
and this hasn't made it any easier.
I get tested regularly for STDs and don't practice any unsafe activities.