Run in with Jao/Thief
Run in with Jao/Thief
I was having a good week....it really was. When I get the call from a visiting mate "are you up for joining me for some drinks and handsome man entertainment at a St 130 bar or wherever the night takes us"? Hell yeah....why not. I have already had a few beers and at 8pm the night is but young. I ask my mate to text me the name of the bar and I will meet him there. From Toul Tom Poung I get a moto, negotiate the fare and off we go. On Sundays the traffic is always busy around riverside and Naga roundabout so I tell the moto to head up Monivong and cut right at one of the streets further down.
Now on Monivong, I hear the SMS beep and take the phone out of my pocket to read it. I put the phone between my stomach and the moto drivers back. Because I have turned the phone longways, I know I have both hands on the phone...but can still scroll using either a finger or thumb. I scroll,press to open the text and then bang!
Three things happened very quickly. A moto was instantly right next to me on my left side. I saw a Khmer male face (the passenger) His right hand is then on my phone...between my two hands. I knew immediately what was happening, but for some reason he didn't get my phone on the first attempt. In the next second or so, he has a stronger grip, but so do I but with both hands. It is a guess on my part, but I think we would be travelling at around 20km an hour...opposite Phnom Penh Tower and adjacent to Tous Des Jours coffee shop.
I think this is what happened...it's a blur and it was over so quickly. He yanked, I yanked back and then he put it one last attempt..with his driver adding speed to help him with the theft. (I'm positive it's a practiced and perfected manoeuvre). Naturally, with this back and forth grabbing and both with strong grips on the phone, the moto I was on, was going left, right, left also. On the third lurch left, blind Freddy and physics will tell you that you are going over and hitting the bitumen. I will be honest here. My first thoughts were "how do I minimize the impact here"? (Er.....Chris.....you can't) My second thought was definitely... that I was not wearing a helmet.
So, over we go. Screech of metal and plastic scraping, and we are in a slide on Monivong. The slide stops and I notice both the driver and I are still on the bike...albeit parallel with the ground and the weight of the moto pinning us in that position. When younger, I've come of dirt bikes plenty of times and always just use both hands to push bike off etc etc. For some reason I wasn't using both hands and when I go to use my left hand I see why. I'm still holding on to my bloody phone which is in an upright position and off the ground. (I'm the guy at a BBQ or footy match..if I drunkenly fall over...it's imperative that when falling you must hold beer in an upright position to minimize spillage.) Hence, some memory kicked in with the phone as the bike was sliding.
Both the moto driver and I got lucky tickets on this spill. I think my head hit my arm, which was holding up and protecting my beer/phone. Because we slid rather than a heavy impact, my left side and his...took all the scrapes. The damage: the bike had a slight crack in the fairing and some scrapes on the footpegs..perhaps a loose headlight casing as well. The driver had scrapes on his arm, hands and a tear in his trousers. Maybe because I have wider hips than him, I took more of the slide damage. The left side of my cargo shorts was cheese grated and the same with my left leg. Also the bottom of the phone scraped on the ground and is slightly worse for wear but amazingly...up popped the name of the bar when I pressed to see if it was still working. No head injury, no cracked bones and right at the moment when I stood up....no pain.
The poor SOB moto had no idea of what had just happened. When he realised that a jao had made an attempt on my exposed phone...I detected a slight change in his demeanour but nothing too bad. I look down my pants..I'm missing skin, trickling blood, same on the leg...but hey...could have been a hell of a lot worse. Only a small crowd had gathered, 5 min or so had passed so what to do next? Well, in Aust or NZ you would call the cops. Here in PP...it doesn't even enter my mind. I might then go to a doctor to get myself checked over. Here in PP..I ask the driver to take me to the bar via a pharmacy where I buy betadine and some wipes for both of us. At the pharmacy he starts telling me in Khmer how poor he is and points to his torn pants and the crack in his moto's fairing. I'm actually not surprised at his subtle request and plus...if I am honest....it actually is my fault that he ended up on the ground with me. He didn't see it coming, had no part of it and ended up on the ground with me because I needed the name of the bar.On the way to the bar..I was wondering what the shake down amount might be. Once there, I gave him the fare with a two dollar tip and ten bucks on top. He had a big grin so I'm happy he was happy.
The first and second beers went down in record time...perfect pain medication. The girls were concerned for my injuries....well...the two that I bought lady drinks for were anyway. All however, were concerned for my phone..that got passed around all of them to plenty of óohs and ahs. There was one cute girl who wandered past with a smile until she saw my leg and shredded left cheek through my shorts. Her next look was the opposite of a smile...I read it as 'I'm not touching that tonight'.
The name of the bar was Fire bar, but the only fiery thing was my left cheeks which, after about two hours was now stuck to the remains of my boxer shorts. I went up near riverside and bought the baggiest pair of shorts I could find and carried on the rest of the night with my mate.
I went home alone, happy and very very lucky.
Now on Monivong, I hear the SMS beep and take the phone out of my pocket to read it. I put the phone between my stomach and the moto drivers back. Because I have turned the phone longways, I know I have both hands on the phone...but can still scroll using either a finger or thumb. I scroll,press to open the text and then bang!
Three things happened very quickly. A moto was instantly right next to me on my left side. I saw a Khmer male face (the passenger) His right hand is then on my phone...between my two hands. I knew immediately what was happening, but for some reason he didn't get my phone on the first attempt. In the next second or so, he has a stronger grip, but so do I but with both hands. It is a guess on my part, but I think we would be travelling at around 20km an hour...opposite Phnom Penh Tower and adjacent to Tous Des Jours coffee shop.
I think this is what happened...it's a blur and it was over so quickly. He yanked, I yanked back and then he put it one last attempt..with his driver adding speed to help him with the theft. (I'm positive it's a practiced and perfected manoeuvre). Naturally, with this back and forth grabbing and both with strong grips on the phone, the moto I was on, was going left, right, left also. On the third lurch left, blind Freddy and physics will tell you that you are going over and hitting the bitumen. I will be honest here. My first thoughts were "how do I minimize the impact here"? (Er.....Chris.....you can't) My second thought was definitely... that I was not wearing a helmet.
So, over we go. Screech of metal and plastic scraping, and we are in a slide on Monivong. The slide stops and I notice both the driver and I are still on the bike...albeit parallel with the ground and the weight of the moto pinning us in that position. When younger, I've come of dirt bikes plenty of times and always just use both hands to push bike off etc etc. For some reason I wasn't using both hands and when I go to use my left hand I see why. I'm still holding on to my bloody phone which is in an upright position and off the ground. (I'm the guy at a BBQ or footy match..if I drunkenly fall over...it's imperative that when falling you must hold beer in an upright position to minimize spillage.) Hence, some memory kicked in with the phone as the bike was sliding.
Both the moto driver and I got lucky tickets on this spill. I think my head hit my arm, which was holding up and protecting my beer/phone. Because we slid rather than a heavy impact, my left side and his...took all the scrapes. The damage: the bike had a slight crack in the fairing and some scrapes on the footpegs..perhaps a loose headlight casing as well. The driver had scrapes on his arm, hands and a tear in his trousers. Maybe because I have wider hips than him, I took more of the slide damage. The left side of my cargo shorts was cheese grated and the same with my left leg. Also the bottom of the phone scraped on the ground and is slightly worse for wear but amazingly...up popped the name of the bar when I pressed to see if it was still working. No head injury, no cracked bones and right at the moment when I stood up....no pain.
The poor SOB moto had no idea of what had just happened. When he realised that a jao had made an attempt on my exposed phone...I detected a slight change in his demeanour but nothing too bad. I look down my pants..I'm missing skin, trickling blood, same on the leg...but hey...could have been a hell of a lot worse. Only a small crowd had gathered, 5 min or so had passed so what to do next? Well, in Aust or NZ you would call the cops. Here in PP...it doesn't even enter my mind. I might then go to a doctor to get myself checked over. Here in PP..I ask the driver to take me to the bar via a pharmacy where I buy betadine and some wipes for both of us. At the pharmacy he starts telling me in Khmer how poor he is and points to his torn pants and the crack in his moto's fairing. I'm actually not surprised at his subtle request and plus...if I am honest....it actually is my fault that he ended up on the ground with me. He didn't see it coming, had no part of it and ended up on the ground with me because I needed the name of the bar.On the way to the bar..I was wondering what the shake down amount might be. Once there, I gave him the fare with a two dollar tip and ten bucks on top. He had a big grin so I'm happy he was happy.
The first and second beers went down in record time...perfect pain medication. The girls were concerned for my injuries....well...the two that I bought lady drinks for were anyway. All however, were concerned for my phone..that got passed around all of them to plenty of óohs and ahs. There was one cute girl who wandered past with a smile until she saw my leg and shredded left cheek through my shorts. Her next look was the opposite of a smile...I read it as 'I'm not touching that tonight'.
The name of the bar was Fire bar, but the only fiery thing was my left cheeks which, after about two hours was now stuck to the remains of my boxer shorts. I went up near riverside and bought the baggiest pair of shorts I could find and carried on the rest of the night with my mate.
I went home alone, happy and very very lucky.
- Captain Bonez
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You fucking knobhead.Chris K wrote:...Now on Monivong, I hear the SMS beep and take the phone out of my pocket to read it. I put the phone between my stomach and the moto drivers back...
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Great story, glad you are OK. I hardly ever take motos anymore unless it's a trip of a few hundred meters around Daun Penh. Otherwise it's tuk tuks, for comfort and safety.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
Yeah mate..I am the knobhead who helped your mate the time on 136. I stopped because he was unconscious in the gutter with blood pissing out of his head. You were standing around clueless. Im the knobhead who lifted and put him in the tuk tuk that took him to calamette. You didnt help...firstly...because you couldnt lift him past your fat gut. Secondly. .because you didn't wany your unconscious mates blood on you. I got it all over me instead. Remember me now? Next time i see you...lets discuss the term you refer to me as. Either discuss...or you turn around and run.Captain Bonez wrote:You fucking knobhead.Chris K wrote:...Now on Monivong, I hear the SMS beep and take the phone out of my pocket to read it. I put the phone between my stomach and the moto drivers back...
Last edited by Chris K on Tue Aug 08, 2017 6:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Great story and well told. But riding with a motodop and pulling out the phone for an SMS-get real. That Chris guy seems to have a very short fuse. Dire need of a blow job I would say.
gavinmac wrote:Great story, glad you are OK. I hardly ever take motos anymore unless it's a trip of a few hundred meters around Daun Penh. Otherwise it's tuk tuks, for comfort and safety.
The fuck is wrong with you?
Exnet app, taxi is cheaper and safe to browse your phone. The taxi comes so quickly as well, just order when getting your change. I suppose there is a small nighttime surcharge but well worth it.
"Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach, teach English."
Credit Jacked Camry & LTO
Credit Jacked Camry & LTO
- Captain Bonez
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I was standing around clueless unable to really help much due to me being completely off my tits, as far as i remember it was a weekend and past 12am, I can barely remember how to breathe or blink at that point usually. I don't really remember being afraid of the blood as i also had it on me after I'd helped get him on the gurney at the hospital, back in a tuktuk, and back home again.Chris K wrote:Yeah mate..I am the knobhead who helped your mate the time on 136. I stopped because he was unconscious in the gutter with blood pissing out of his head. You were standing around clueless. Im the knobhead who lifted and put him in the tuk tuk that took him to calamette. You didnt help...firstly...because you couldnt lift him past your fat gut. Secondly. .because you didn't wany your unconscious mates blood on you. I got it all over me instead. Remember me now? Next time i see you...lets discuss the term you refer to me as. Either discuss...or you turn around and run.Captain Bonez wrote:You fucking knobhead.Chris K wrote:...Now on Monivong, I hear the SMS beep and take the phone out of my pocket to read it. I put the phone between my stomach and the moto drivers back...
Was you the knobhead who stole his watch or clonked him over the head?
[quote="crazyjohn"]Great story and well told. But riding with a motodop and pulling out the phone for an SMS-get real. That Chris guy seems to have a very short fuse. Dire need of a blow job I would say.[/quote?
Thx for your input. Curiously, which part of my story did you detect that I might have a very short fuse. I have re read it twice and cannot find any sentence or paragraph where i stated that i was angry or even upset. If you can find..could you please quote it back. Dire need of a blow job? I hope i have read this wrong. ..but please tell me you are not offering to be the provider.
Thx for your input. Curiously, which part of my story did you detect that I might have a very short fuse. I have re read it twice and cannot find any sentence or paragraph where i stated that i was angry or even upset. If you can find..could you please quote it back. Dire need of a blow job? I hope i have read this wrong. ..but please tell me you are not offering to be the provider.
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The taxis don't come that quickly, I can walk outside and flag down a tuk tuk and be at the next bar before the taxi arrives.GMJS-440 wrote: Exnet app, taxi is cheaper and safe to browse your phone. The taxi comes so quickly as well, just order when getting your change. I suppose there is a small nighttime surcharge but well worth it.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
So in the end they could not steal a penny of you. that is great news! These so called Jao's should be ashamed of themselves, why don't they do serious robbery there are plenty of local people with too much cash and jewelry walking around and they know that but they are cowards! All crimes happen here are coward crimes. Don't forget the thieve who killed a barang baby and tried to kill the barang mother to make sure he was not recognized, he also didn't have the balls to confront any local It is just the way they are. Its just not in them to walk up to a rich khmer and say your money and jewelry now!! or follow him to his house with marble entrance and brass doors. Its an absolute shame what they tried to do to you.
I also hear a similar story a few months ago from a fellow swiss national that his phone was stolen while he was walking and calling, they grab and pull and they are gone.
please just take a tuk tuk next time. Although this time you probably could have taken a tuk tuk I also understand the situations that you just grab a moto because you don't want the hassle of talking about the price and a moto is just 1 $ anyway. locals pay 2000 riel or 3000 riel, but for 1$ most motodrivers are happy.
I remember back in 2010 a tuk tuk driver all the time asked me if I needed a tuk tuk, I never did at the time and took the motos, but than one day there was no moto and I took this tuk tuk. Than he said while driving: "sir you have to take tuk tuk its for your safety"
I really thought: "" you are full of shit""
but the more I was in Phnom Penh and saw the traffic situations I came to the conclusion that he was right..
but even with a tuk tuk safety is no guarantee.. There are so many cases of tuk tuks robbing passengers after they leave the bars.
again real cowards... These tuk tuk drivers only pick the people who are very very drunk and can't defend themselves..
I also hear a similar story a few months ago from a fellow swiss national that his phone was stolen while he was walking and calling, they grab and pull and they are gone.
please just take a tuk tuk next time. Although this time you probably could have taken a tuk tuk I also understand the situations that you just grab a moto because you don't want the hassle of talking about the price and a moto is just 1 $ anyway. locals pay 2000 riel or 3000 riel, but for 1$ most motodrivers are happy.
I remember back in 2010 a tuk tuk driver all the time asked me if I needed a tuk tuk, I never did at the time and took the motos, but than one day there was no moto and I took this tuk tuk. Than he said while driving: "sir you have to take tuk tuk its for your safety"
I really thought: "" you are full of shit""
but the more I was in Phnom Penh and saw the traffic situations I came to the conclusion that he was right..
but even with a tuk tuk safety is no guarantee.. There are so many cases of tuk tuks robbing passengers after they leave the bars.
again real cowards... These tuk tuk drivers only pick the people who are very very drunk and can't defend themselves..
Run? From your description, the only running Bonez is capable of is to the dessert cart.Chris K wrote:[ Either discuss...or you turn around and run.
"The final straw actually involved my mortal enemy vladimir, who you may or may not know is an insufferable, overposting asshat."
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[quote="ClubBar"There are so many cases of tuk tuks robbing passengers after they leave the bars.
again real cowards... These tuk tuk drivers only pick the people who are very very drunk and can't defend themselves..[/quote]
I don't think there are too many cases of that at all.
again real cowards... These tuk tuk drivers only pick the people who are very very drunk and can't defend themselves..[/quote]
I don't think there are too many cases of that at all.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
Chris K wrote:Yeah mate..I am the knobhead who helped your mate the time on 136. I stopped because he was unconscious in the gutter with blood pissing out of his head. You were standing around clueless. Im the knobhead who lifted and put him in the tuk tuk that took him to calamette. You didnt help...firstly...because you couldnt lift him past your fat gut. Secondly. .because you didn't wany your unconscious mates blood on you. I got it all over me instead. Remember me now? Next time i see you...lets discuss the term you refer to me as. Either discuss...or you turn around and run.Captain Bonez wrote:You fucking knobhead.Chris K wrote:...Now on Monivong, I hear the SMS beep and take the phone out of my pocket to read it. I put the phone between my stomach and the moto drivers back...
Captain Bonez has a fat gut? Christ, he must have let himself go a lot. The last time I saw him he was a skinny runt, and the only thing that carried any weight was his ludicrous bumfluff beard. I've seen more meat on a butcher's pencil than on Bonez.
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