Would You Want to Know?

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Would You Want to Know?

Postby Felgerkarb » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:28 am

Have had some interesting conversations over the last few weeks. Learned a lot about myself, things, life in general, and my decision making process over the last few decades.

Anyway, to cut to the quick. I have learned a few things that make me wonder if I would want the truth or stay in the dark. I would want to know.

Case 1: A friend has fond memories of a time with a young lady, always kicking himself about missed opportunities, etc.. Thing is, this young lady cuckolded him something fierce...embarrassingly so. Should I tell him his love was the worst of the worst and had everyone fooled for years?

Example: Imagine I didn't know Squeaky was a meth using bitch, stepping out on my constantly and I lionized her as some exemplar of Khmer female virtue to this day. Say she ran off to the province or something and I never saw her again. I continue to pine away for the lost opportunities, kick myself for making mistakes, etc.. I make all my current decisions based on this false premise and it colors me to the day. Would you tell me?

Case 2: "Good Girls Behaving Badly". New technology has made it easy for Khmer girls to preserve a fig leaf of decorum. They don't work in hostess bars, are not KTV whores, etc., but use the internet and its various tools to trawl for dick. They pretend to be good girls, have teaching jobs, sell cars, whatever, and some are even married to barang... But they play, play play and they change dicks more a punters intended for the day. Would you want to know your good girl wasn't?

Example: Foreign dude has a "good girl" girlfriend. She is sweet, is highly educated, speaks great English, funny, fun...but...her legs are in the air as often as she can swing it. She uses amazing skills at creating various accounts, rotating them often, to find short timers to play with because all her friends do it, it is fun, and she is young. She doesn't do it for money, although the occasional gift is appreciated. Would you want to know?

Recently I found out one of my ex SO's was making a fool outta me...I knew this, but had no proof. I always want to know because I like to reevaluate my decisions, see my errors, and learn from them. I have no desire to confront her years later...why bother...but it is always good to know your suspicions were not unfounded. Thing is, it led me to Morticia, so in the end it worked out great...but had Morticia not entered my life, would I have still made the same bad decisions over and over? I would want to know.

As a post script, I know who she (pre Morticia SO) cuckolded me with...fake friends make me peevish. You have been warned.
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby scoffer » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:39 am

That is a dammed deep question,
What you are today, is a combination of events that took place in your life.

I have made ( and continue to make ) some fucken stupid decisions,
But in balance they have got me to a stage where I am now very happy with my life and the decisions I now make.

Yes there is hurt and pain involved, but recapping on past "What if's" has no real benefit because you cannot go back in time.
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby kinard » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:41 am

Is monogamy too much to expect of someone in the first instance?
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby scoffer » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:44 am

kinard wrote:Is monogamy too much to expect of someone in the first instance?



Not at all,
For me it is a cornerstone of a relationship.
If you want to be with me and try to make it work out,
I'll keep my dick in my pants and you will keep your legs closed.
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby Felgerkarb » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:44 am

I agree to a point. If one makes current decisions now based on an utterly false past, are those decisions valid ones? Yes and no...it is pretty philosophical really.

I just wanted to state for the record I would want to know. As I said, I am not interested in opening old wounds. Decisions were made, life moved forward...but, sometimes a real whammy comes up and you are like...wtf....how did I miss that. Sometimes it is helpful to reevaluate.

I am sitting on a few and don't know if I should tell them or not.
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby kansaicanuck » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:54 am

Felgerkarb wrote:I agree to a point. If one makes current decisions now based on an utterly false past, are those decisions valid ones? Yes and no...it is pretty philosophical really.

I just wanted to state for the record I would want to know. As I said, I am not interested in opening old wounds. Decisions were made, life moved forward...but, sometimes a real whammy comes up and you are like...wtf....how did I miss that. Sometimes it is helpful to reevaluate.

I am sitting on a few and don't know if I should tell them or not.


Would you have been willing to accept it as truth had someone told you the straight goods then? That is always the hard part. Sure you might want to know what really happened in the past now but honestly too many people are blinded by whatever it may be and are not willing to accept they are being cheated in the moment.

Sitting on a few means - you know some friends girls are fucking around on their partners and are debating if you should tell them or not?
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby Joon » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:59 am

I would want to know personally.

You never can make the best decisions if you don't have all the pertinent information in hands.
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby Alexandra » Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:00 am

This is a tough dilemma. I would want to know but I don't know how I would react. It would probably depend on how I was approached and what was laid in front of me. For instance, someone who called an eventual SO a slut without backing it up would lose my friendship. On the other hand, if actual evidence was laid on me instead with more substance and without name calling and I could reach the same conclusion ("X is a slut") based on real evidence I would have no problems with the person who informed me.

I think approach and evidence is key. People blinded by love are hard to convince their love is wasted. Personally, if I knew one of my good friends was being played a fool I would open my mouth only if I was willing to risk the friendship of that person. In things like this I think that's what's at stake. If I could prove it (photos, etc) I think it would be better to sit down in private and be more like "hey, look at this..."

It happens all the time. Friend A tells friend B that girlfriend C is cheating on Friend B and Friend B responds by cutting off Friend A only to come back years later and say "Friend A, you were right about girlfriend C". I think people are more prone to shoot the messenger here. I mean, who would you trust? Your SO or that friend you may suspect want to get between the two of you for other reasons?

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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby Felgerkarb » Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:03 am

I would want to know, current or past.

No, if my friend had a woman who was stepping out on him, I would tell him immediately -- and hopefully hand over some proof. The stuff I am sitting on is all water under the bridge at this point, but I do have my suspicions regarding a current situation. I am also questioning whether I should pursue the truth in this matter or just leave it. I am not the designated grand inquisitor of Khmer ladies behavior. I just don't like my friends to get steamrolled....it sucks.
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby spitthedog » Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:06 am

Felgerkarb wrote:

Case 1: A friend has fond memories of a time with a young lady, always kicking himself about missed opportunities, etc.. Thing is, this young lady cuckolded him something fierce...embarrassingly so. Should I tell him his love was the worst of the worst and had everyone fooled for years?


Do you think his ego stopped him from seing it?
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby Felgerkarb » Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:10 am

spitthedog wrote:
Felgerkarb wrote:

Case 1: A friend has fond memories of a time with a young lady, always kicking himself about missed opportunities, etc.. Thing is, this young lady cuckolded him something fierce...embarrassingly so. Should I tell him his love was the worst of the worst and had everyone fooled for years?


Do you think his ego stopped him from seing it?


No, she was a brilliant liar.
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby Alexandra » Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:13 am

Felgerkarb wrote:No, if my friend had a woman who was stepping out on him, I would tell him immediately -- and hopefully hand over some proof. The stuff I am sitting on is all water under the bridge at this point, but I do have my suspicions regarding a current situation. I am also questioning whether I should pursue the truth in this matter or just leave it. I am not the designated grand inquisitor of Khmer ladies behavior. I just don't like my friends to get steamrolled....it sucks.


Put yourself on the receiving end of the situation. Theoretically, if someone pulled you aside today and said something: what and how would you need to hear to believe it? If someone says "I saw Morticia cheating on you outside GSM at 4 AM" you would probably laugh and think less of the person who said it. You're a rational guy, take it from what you would need to hear and how it needs to be said to be credible.

It sounds more like having your buddy's back than inquisition. Friends help friends, you're doing the right thing by caring.

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Would You Want to Know?

Postby Khmerhamster » Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:22 am

Want to know - no
Should I know - yes
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby Felgerkarb » Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:25 am

I could probably get the proof, but I would have to play along in a false flag type situation...could get messy.
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Re: Would You Want to Know?

Postby gavinmac » Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:25 am

I'd want to know that the girl who got away was a whore so I could stop pining for her.
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