Boarding strategies
I'd have paid top coin to watch that. You didn't record any of this did you?
- ផោមក្លិនស្អុយ
- Daylight, I need Daylight !?!
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Try being a young guy from Belfast travelling worldwide through London through nineties and early noughties.
Unnecessary interrogations were normal course of business.
Unnecessary interrogations were normal course of business.
Arriving in Perth after flying from Phnom Penh for surgery on a shattered ulna, Australian immigration held, searched and interviewed me for well over an hour convinced I was up to no good. This was the third consecutive time I'd been held when re-entering my home country in the space of a couple of years and the interviewing immigration officers were in no doubt about the level of my annoyance. Here I was with a plaster slab from shoulder to fingertips, the hospital aware I was on my way and grumpy as fuck because I've GOT A FUCKING SHATTERED FOREARM and the wankers think I'm smuggling smack. They keep sliding swabs inside my cast/slab searching for a positive, repeatedly asking the same questions in different guises, have all my bank cards, passports, money and possessions strewn out all over the place.....
I engaged in a tirade not seen before or since and let them have it. Since then I've never been looked at again.
I engaged in a tirade not seen before or since and let them have it. Since then I've never been looked at again.
"That was probably Londo...He is always shitty." - Marvin
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- Making Khmer girls cry since 2003
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This was the first time they have met me at the plane. The fight attendants announced "Everyone should have their passports out when exiting the plane to be checked by customs and border protection officers." I figured they were looking for a fugitive or something. I was the first one off the plane, saw the officer, handed him my American passport and he asked "Are you traveling alone?" And I responded "Why are you asking me questions?"logos wrote:I'd have paid top coin to watch that. You didn't record any of this did you?
They don't like that.
The handcuff threat came from his partner a little later. When I encountered him he said "We know you've been stopped before."
I said "Well, then you would also know I've been in secondary inspection on eight prior occasions, no contraband has ever been found on me, I have no arrest record, so this isn't a very good use of your time." He then claimed I had an arrest record in Atlantic City, which isn't true, I was a passenger in car there twenty years ago that was stopped for a traffic violation and my friend was given a field sobriety test which he (somehow) passed and we were sent on our way. How Customs and Border Protection knows that, I have no idea, I contacted the Atlantic City police this week and they claim they have no record of the traffic stop.
The CBP officers tried the (very common) line "It's just our job to ask questions." I responded "That doesn't matter. It's the job of telemarketers to call me on the phone and ask me what magazines I read and who I'm going to vote for, but I don't answer them either."
Where I normally get the better of the argument is when I say "You know I'm an American. So you're only asking me questions for the purpose of determining if I'm involved in criminal activity. Right?"
If they're honest they'll say "Yes."
Then I say "Well, that offends me. I'm not going to be interrogated by law enforcement officers about whether I'm a criminal as a pre-condition of returning to the country where I was born. Just search my bag."
Anyway, that's when this guy snapped and said "If you get aggressive with me again I'll put you in handcuffs," blah, blah.
Next time I should try to get handcuffed, I think that will be good for my street cred.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
I get harassed a lot and started giving them only yes or no answers. For example once they asked me if I had been travelling for "business or pleasure", to which I responded "yes". They don't like it much but fuck them. At least nobody can threaten me with handcuffs for being aggressive.
Bless
Bless
- Miguelito
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You don't just say "bless"?Alexandra wrote:I get harassed a lot and started giving them only yes or no answers. For example once they asked me if I had been travelling for "business or pleasure", to which I responded "yes". They don't like it much but fuck them. At least nobody can threaten me with handcuffs for being aggressive.
Bless
Never choose the exit row. You think you will benefit from a little extra legroom for a change only to find the super fatties always choose the exit rows and their fat arm will be 3/4 into your seat space the whole trip.
"The final straw actually involved my mortal enemy vladimir, who you may or may not know is an insufferable, overposting asshat."
Did they x-ray you for heroin-filled condoms in your intestines??gavinmac wrote:I flew into LAX last week and there were officers waiting on the jetbridge checking passports looking for someone. Turns out they were looking for me, based on my history of travel to rogue countries and then playing the "Why were you in Afghanistan . . . none of your business I'm American let me in" game.LoneStar wrote: That was my best effort at avoiding a long immigration line..........since I paid a guy in Mexico 7 bucks to wheel me past one in a wheelchair.
They walked me right to the front of the line and then straight to secondary baggage inspection. We did have a spirited discussion at times during the walk and the guy threatened to put me in handcuffs when I started winning the argument but I'm sure that was a bluff. I spent about two hours in secondary and then they let me go, like usual.
"The final straw actually involved my mortal enemy vladimir, who you may or may not know is an insufferable, overposting asshat."
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- Making Khmer girls cry since 2003
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No. They actually can't do that unless they have consent or a court order. They have patted me down a few times but they skipped that this time.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
- Lucky Lucan
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That's funny stuff. I used to get pulled up regularly by special branch etc when I was crossing borders. Being too cheeky with them isn't always the best idea but they are generally an incompetent bunch of idiots so there's no point in being straight up with them either.gavinmac wrote:This was the first time they have met me at the plane. The fight attendants announced "Everyone should have their passports out when exiting the plane to be checked by customs and border protection officers." I figured they were looking for a fugitive or something. I was the first one off the plane, saw the officer, handed him my American passport and he asked "Are you traveling alone?" And I responded "Why are you asking me questions?"logos wrote:I'd have paid top coin to watch that. You didn't record any of this did you?
They don't like that.
The handcuff threat came from his partner a little later. When I encountered him he said "We know you've been stopped before."
I said "Well, then you would also know I've been in secondary inspection on eight prior occasions, no contraband has ever been found on me, I have no arrest record, so this isn't a very good use of your time." He then claimed I had an arrest record in Atlantic City, which isn't true, I was a passenger in car there twenty years ago that was stopped for a traffic violation and my friend was given a field sobriety test which he (somehow) passed and we were sent on our way. How Customs and Border Protection knows that, I have no idea, I contacted the Atlantic City police this week and they claim they have no record of the traffic stop.
The CBP officers tried the (very common) line "It's just our job to ask questions." I responded "That doesn't matter. It's the job of telemarketers to call me on the phone and ask me what magazines I read and who I'm going to vote for, but I don't answer them either."
Where I normally get the better of the argument is when I say "You know I'm an American. So you're only asking me questions for the purpose of determining if I'm involved in criminal activity. Right?"
If they're honest they'll say "Yes."
Then I say "Well, that offends me. I'm not going to be interrogated by law enforcement officers about whether I'm a criminal as a pre-condition of returning to the country where I was born. Just search my bag."
Anyway, that's when this guy snapped and said "If you get aggressive with me again I'll put you in handcuffs," blah, blah.
Next time I should try to get handcuffed, I think that will be good for my street cred.
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
You guys must be radiating bad karma or something. In decades of travel I've never been checked once despite smuggling tons of counterfeit crap from watches, polo shirts, brand name bags etc.
The only time I was ever pulled over was when I was entering the UK with a car that was running on lpg, over 20 years ago. They opened the boot and asked me what I had inside the LPG tank and could I please open it, WTF. The girlfriend I was with started laughing uncontrollably which didn't make him happy, fortunately one of his colleagues waved us through and that was it.
The only time I was ever pulled over was when I was entering the UK with a car that was running on lpg, over 20 years ago. They opened the boot and asked me what I had inside the LPG tank and could I please open it, WTF. The girlfriend I was with started laughing uncontrollably which didn't make him happy, fortunately one of his colleagues waved us through and that was it.
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I can't remember a time when I haven't been pulled aside for the bag sweep/inspwction. They say it is random. It can't be.
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
- Plutarch
What they find:violet wrote:I can't remember a time when I haven't been pulled aside for the bag sweep/inspwction..
"The final straw actually involved my mortal enemy vladimir, who you may or may not know is an insufferable, overposting asshat."
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