Just trying to bring a little light heartedness to the conversation.gavinmac wrote:Oh, disregard what I recommended. That was before I read his musings below on the benefits of going out with a seven year-old.
Tacotuesday wrote: The plus is that when I go out to eat I always get to order 2 things without feeling guilty, one for me and one for her, she cant never eat more than half so I get to stuff my face without looking like a fatass sitting alone eating 2 entrees. It's the little things.
Bringing non-related Cambodian Child To Vietnam
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It's not the easiest situation but I do have a few contingency plans. At this point I do not know how long she will be under my care for so I'm trying to do the best with what I have.ផោមក្លិនស្អុយ wrote:Gav puts the pathetic into empathetic.gavinmac wrote:Well, this is a sweet deal for the parents. They avoid all the cost and inconvenience of raising the child but still get to see her regularly.Tacotuesday wrote: The mother is not a zombie and actually has a decent amount of responsibility, though she is a pretty mean person and i hate being around her voice is so grating, the dad is great and I speak with him every day. She sees them two times per month, them visiting us in PP at least once a month. They are really nice and they want their kid to get a good education but they realize that they are poor and they have known me for the past 3 years, as do all the workers at my job, my niece's school and everyone in the neighborhood.
Your situation is not that difficult. Hand the kid back to her parents and say "I'm happy to pay for her schooling, send me the bill."
Note: it has been suggested on this website that I have no empathy
But he’s right on the money here.
OP, you have created for yourself a
similar situation to the many orphanages in Cambodia. You are raising a hybrid child, one who won’t understand Khmer culture (is she learning to read/write Khmer or just English). The child will grow up to be one of those weird ‘foreign khmers’ I.e. she looks Khmer but doesn’t act it, is culturally foreign & can’t interact with Khmer people normally.
Parents have got a great deal.
You can’t adopt her, she isn’t an orphan - she has living parents & relatives here. If you take her across an international border you could be charged with trafficking.
International adoption for a Khmer child is nigh on impossible in a normal situation. Yours is far from normal.
You need to protect yourself too. What if you are called back to your home country urgently - you can’t take the child with you. It’ll (possibly) break your heart to leave her.
You should do as Gav suggests. Pay for education and take a step back.
As said above, if she is adopted it will not be by me, it will be by my Khmer Fiancee, so the process will be a lot easier to navigate.
Right now she is 6 so isn't able to support herself, I plan on re-evaluating the position when she is 10, then again when she is 12, etc. etc. Once she reaches an age where I think she can live in PP with her parents without it all inevitably turning into all giant clusterfuck, that is what i want, but at 6 she is not able to do that. I think theres a chance at 10 she will be able too, chances get higher as she gets older. That way I can pay the money directly to the school but have her be old enough to make some of her own decisions.
She's been studying in an international school for two years, I don't want to have given her an example of a nice comfortable and caring life for two years only to have that taken away. YES! I should have thought about that in the first place but I didn't and thats my mistake. I can't go back and fix the past but I can try to make positive decisions for the future. Her parents aren't responsible enough to keep her in PP (other relatives have tried, and it's failed massively, if you really want the details you can have them), if she lives in the province it's 20km from the nearest market and 4 km walk to school to a teacher who didnt finish high school, let alone speaks any english.
Yes, she speaks and writes both English Khmer, due to the on-going presence of my Fiancee and my neice's contact with her family every day I am not worried about her losing her language ability.
Thanks all for the suggestions.
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If I was a cynic I would possibly think that you were a human trafficker asking strangers on the internet how to transport a minor across international borders witout their parents consent.
Good thing I am not a cynic and you are not asking advice here of total strangers how to cross border with a child who is not yours without the permission of the parents.
Thank heavens no trafficker or child abuser has ever come up with such a believable story. Not that I am accusing you of being either.
Good luck and like the others here who took the story of a complete unknown at face value and offered advice, I applaud you for your commendable actions.
Good thing I am not a cynic and you are not asking advice here of total strangers how to cross border with a child who is not yours without the permission of the parents.
Thank heavens no trafficker or child abuser has ever come up with such a believable story. Not that I am accusing you of being either.
Good luck and like the others here who took the story of a complete unknown at face value and offered advice, I applaud you for your commendable actions.
Note to self: Must be nice to morons.
If you marry your fiance you should focus on getting her custody for the child, that might be something the Khmers could sort out legally, which you obviously have no chance of since you're not a Cambodian citizen. The other thing you should try is maybe getting Khmer citizenship, some people have gotten it, and if you have a Khmer wife that's a huge advantage. A third thing that comes to mind is having the child live with your fiancé's extended family, if those are reliable people.
- Lucky Lucan
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What is "Khmer citizenship"? He has a snowball's chance of hell of getting Cambodian citizenship.florian wrote: The other thing you should try is maybe getting Khmer citizenship....
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
Is that really true? I've heard of people getting it, you would probably have to learn Cambodian, marry a Cambodian and pay a couple 10k, but I clearly remember it is a possibility. If someone has a child he wants to adopt that really might be a reason to go through with it.Lucky Lucan wrote:What is "Khmer citizenship"? He has a snowball's chance of hell of getting Cambodian citizenship.florian wrote: The other thing you should try is maybe getting Khmer citizenship....
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