Believe it or not, there is a whole other world outside of Cambodia, be it people or politics, frustrations or football, this is the place to talk about it.
Topic didn't specify jokes, right?
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."
"The problem with the youth of today is that they listen to music that’s younger than the women they sleep with."
"Some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." -- Camus
Samuel Beckett: "I can't go on. I'll go on."
Quotes from the world of football -
"I never make predictions and I never will."
"75% of what happens to Paul Gascoigne in his life is fiction."
"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought."
"If you count your chickens before they've hatched, they won't lay an egg."
Two from Bobby Robson RIP
"If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again."
"What I said to them at half-time would be unprintable on the radio."
Ex-Spurs boss Gerry Francis
"Samassi Abou don't speak the English too good"
and the quickest one-liner of all:
Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Gordon Strachan: "Velocity". Walks off....
Ain't nobody got time for that!
I hate jokes that are not only not funny, but also ignorant.
Velocity can just as easily be slow as it can quick
The football ones are great. There was a good one on the radio a while back as clip of the week -
"Running a football team can be summed up in one word".................man management
Words from the greatest commentator ever!
"You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest, it is the honest man you should not trust for you never know when he would be dishonest"
-Capt. Jack Sparrow
''Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.''
''Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.''
''Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.''
''Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.''
''What happens if you get scared half to death twice?''
''A fool and his money are soon partying.''
''Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.''
''99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.''
''When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.''
''When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box.
I was an only child....eventually.''
All from Steven Wright.
Goodnight Cambodia and good mental health.
'Statistically speaking 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape'
'You're about as much use as a nun's tits'
'Why do you always find something in the last place you look?'
'Becuase if you kept looking after you had found it you'd be a dickhead'
'War does not determine who is right, only who is left'
'Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner then you'd better have a good hand'
'Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks in captivity they can train a human to stand at the edge of a pool and throw them fish'
'Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity'
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