The one liners thread
Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough.
Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
37% of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent.
Muslim extremists.
Doing for organized religion what Fred and Rose West did for hitch-hiking.
Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
37% of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent.
Muslim extremists.
Doing for organized religion what Fred and Rose West did for hitch-hiking.
- Captain Bonez
- Fluffy Bunny
- Reactions: 38
- Posts: 5522
- Joined: Tue Jan 12, 2010 12:14 pm
- Location: Where the unstoppable force meets the immovable object
“Sarah Palin spoke out about Independence Day, saying that if the British had won the war, we’d all be speaking English today.” –Jay Leno
- kinglear#1
- I need professional help
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 1020
- Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:35 pm
- Location: Out in a storm
I used to live in a birdcage, but I never got rattled.
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven
- vladimir
- Feminist Watch List
- Reactions: 4
- Posts: 34235
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2004 7:43 am
- Location: mod edit
• "It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way." GWB, Washington,
D.C., April 28, 2005
Guess the navy seals in Pakistan got confused.
D.C., April 28, 2005
Guess the navy seals in Pakistan got confused.
ירי ילדים והפצצת אזרחים דורש אומץ, כמו גם הטרדה מינית של עובדי ההוראה.
- vladimir
- Feminist Watch List
- Reactions: 4
- Posts: 34235
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2004 7:43 am
- Location: mod edit
'Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety‐nine per cent perspiration.'
'As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.'
'I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.'
'Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.'
'Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.'
Thomas Edison
'As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.'
'I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.'
'Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.'
'Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.'
Thomas Edison
ירי ילדים והפצצת אזרחים דורש אומץ, כמו גם הטרדה מינית של עובדי ההוראה.
- kinglear#1
- I need professional help
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 1020
- Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:35 pm
- Location: Out in a storm
A philandering Scouser mate of mine got a girl pregnant.
She: What steps do we take now?
He: Large ones, in the opposite direction.
Sent by pigeon
She: What steps do we take now?
He: Large ones, in the opposite direction.
Sent by pigeon
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven
- kinglear#1
- I need professional help
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 1020
- Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:35 pm
- Location: Out in a storm
I searched for directions to the Open Golf Championship, but couldn't find the right links.
Then I called about joining a climbing club, but the prices were a bit steep.
The food at the Titanic's okay, but it can be a bit pricey, so don't go overboard.
'Come on, where are the others?'
General Custer
Then I called about joining a climbing club, but the prices were a bit steep.
The food at the Titanic's okay, but it can be a bit pricey, so don't go overboard.
'Come on, where are the others?'
General Custer
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven
-
- Impin' Aint Easy
- Reactions: 22
- Posts: 1750
- Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:07 am
- Felgerkarb
- Sir Felgerkarb, Kt Pb
- Reactions: 240
- Posts: 9140
- Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:22 am
- Location: Castle Felgerkarb, Felgerkarbia (Formerly Preah Vihear)
- Contact:
You hear about the guy who opened a new, very original hostess bar in Phnom Penh? Neither have I...
====================
Why are the gods such vicious cunts?
Where is the god of tits and wine?
Why are the gods such vicious cunts?
Where is the god of tits and wine?
-
- Requiescat In Pace
- Reactions: 2
- Posts: 13463
- Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2003 11:32 am
Rupert Murdoch says he's deeply touched by all the messages left on Amy Winhouse's voicemail.
Twitter: Not my circus, not my monkeys - I sold #K440
Amy gets to the Pearly Gates and finds a queue of 76 people in front of her.
Because she's clucking a bit and is keen to get in and score she walks to the front and explains her predicament.
The gatesman apologises and explains that they are having trouble finding a Norwegain interpreter.
Boom boom.
Because she's clucking a bit and is keen to get in and score she walks to the front and explains her predicament.
The gatesman apologises and explains that they are having trouble finding a Norwegain interpreter.
Boom boom.
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
-
The (nothing) bad happens in Kampot thread
by Bong Burgundy » Sat May 27, 2023 10:48 am » in Cambodia Speakeasy - 2 Replies
- 666 Views
-
Last post by Bong Burgundy
Sat May 27, 2023 4:20 pm
-
-
- 1 Replies
- 2102 Views
-
Last post by Alexandra
Thu Oct 22, 2020 4:23 pm
-
- 26 Replies
- 4882 Views
-
Last post by Sonic1
Tue Feb 04, 2020 10:56 am