The one liners thread
If all Brides are beautiful where the fuck do ugly wife's come from.
I started life with nothing and I still got most of it left.
I started life with nothing and I still got most of it left.
- Captain Bonez
- Fluffy Bunny
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- Joined: Tue Jan 12, 2010 12:14 pm
- Location: Where the unstoppable force meets the immovable object
having sex with retarded midgets, its not big and its not clever.
rape is no laughing matter, unless youre raping a clown.
rape is no laughing matter, unless youre raping a clown.
My Marxist Feminist Dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.
Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
- the_purple_turtle
- 2000+ Posts! Aghh I Have No Mates
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- Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 9:26 pm
statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape?Captain Bonez wrote:having sex with retarded midgets, its not big and its not clever.
rape is no laughing matter, unless youre raping a clown.
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- I live above an internet cafe
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- Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:02 pm
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore that standing in a garage makes you a car.
kampucheer
kampucheer
" A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."
Mark Twain
Mark Twain
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- I've got internet at work
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Travelling salesman's car breaks down and he walks to a farmhouse where the owner says sure you can stay the night but you'll have to sleep in the barn with my two sons and the salesman says whoa hang on I think I'm in the wrong joke.
Apologies but it's a thread for one-liners.
Apologies but it's a thread for one-liners.
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- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
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- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:31 pm
- Location: Space, maaaan
Just finished watching the British sitcom 'Outnumbered'. Line in the penultimate episode went like this. 9 year old girl wants to go to Catholic school because her friend attends ...
Mother: "But you don't believe in God."
Kid: "Well he kept annoying me."
Mother: "But you don't believe in God."
Kid: "Well he kept annoying me."
I came, I argued, I'm out
Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everybody can see it but only you can feel its warmth.
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- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
- Reactions: 2
- Posts: 22651
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:31 pm
- Location: Space, maaaan
BBC News: "U.S. sets goal to tame Alzheimers"
I bet everyone forgets about this in a week
and ....
I was recently diagnosed with kleptomania. But I am taking something for it.
I bet everyone forgets about this in a week
and ....
I was recently diagnosed with kleptomania. But I am taking something for it.
I came, I argued, I'm out
"If Everton were playing at the bottom of the garden, I'd pull the curtains." Bill Shankly
On awaiting Everton's arrival for a derby game at Anfield, Bill Shankly gave a box of toilet rolls to the doorman and said: "Give them these when they arrive – they'll need them!"
Bob Paisley showed on more than one occasion that he was a very funny man. Bill Shankly spent his first Saturday afternoon in retirement watching his local home match, Everton - Derby County. Meanwhile Liverpool were playing at Luton and when the press asked Bob what Shankly was doing this particular afternoon, he replied:
"He's trying to get right away from football. I believe he went to Everton."
"A lot of teams beat us, do a lap of honour and don't stop running. They live too long on one good result.
I remember Jimmy Adamson crowing after Burnley had beaten us once, that his players were in a different league. At the end of the season they were."
On awaiting Everton's arrival for a derby game at Anfield, Bill Shankly gave a box of toilet rolls to the doorman and said: "Give them these when they arrive – they'll need them!"
Bob Paisley showed on more than one occasion that he was a very funny man. Bill Shankly spent his first Saturday afternoon in retirement watching his local home match, Everton - Derby County. Meanwhile Liverpool were playing at Luton and when the press asked Bob what Shankly was doing this particular afternoon, he replied:
"He's trying to get right away from football. I believe he went to Everton."
"A lot of teams beat us, do a lap of honour and don't stop running. They live too long on one good result.
I remember Jimmy Adamson crowing after Burnley had beaten us once, that his players were in a different league. At the end of the season they were."
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