T Mohan from Khmer Times Sexual Harassment - Open Letter
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T Mohan from Khmer Times Sexual Harassment - Open Letter
Here is an open letter from April Reposar that is being circulated. I am not the author, but thought it worth sharing:
I was sexually harassed by my boss at Khmer Times. I was a socialite writer at the publication, having hired just in April. But because of the troubling situation I was in, I decided to quit immediately and flew back to my home country.
It all started on May 9, 2019 (Thursday). I attended the farewell party of EU Ambassador to Cambodia with my boss. Because it was already 8 o’clock in the evening and the party only served cocktail food, I accepted my boss’ offer to eat dinner. It wasn’t an unusual invite, as my boss always have lunch and dinner meetings with his employees.
While eating, he asked me: “What do you want to do with your life?”
As a new socialite writer of the company, “I want to become more popular so I can get tons of events for my section (socialite page on the main paper)”.
To which he replied, “You know April, if you want to be popular and you want to be a successful socialite here in Cambodia, you have to have money. We cannot deny that you have the looks and you’re already flaunting it, but you also need money. If you don’t have money, how can you be an effective socialite? Let me ask you, do you want a better life?”
Thinking that these questions are all connected to my job in the company, I answered him confidently. “Yes, Sir. I want a better life for me and for my kids.”
He smiled and said, “I will help you with that. I’ll offer you something, I don’t care how you will call it. You can call it friends with benefits or whatever, but I can give you a better life. I will protect you. I will protect you from the people in the company. You want to transfer to a new apartment? I can give you a very private, well secured flat, but we must wait for 6 months cause that’s in your contract, after 6 months you can transfer to a new private apartment. In condition that whenever I need you, you’ll be there for me. If I need you to be with me, you’ll be there for me. I need a companion and I’m sick and tired of this boring life, but don’t tell my PA or anyone. This conversation will just be between you and I, and don’t worry I know you’re dating someone, I don’t care about your personal life and the time that we’ll be spending together is during office hours only.”
I got confused, my feet began to tremble and feel cold. I knew what he was trying to imply, but I didn’t know what to say.
All I wanted that time was to end the conversation and run home.
Then it hit me, I was already afraid. Very terrified that he might do something to me on that night.
After eating, he told me to think about his offer. Luckily, only his driver took me to my apartment. I was very scared. I had anxiety attack after. I didn’t want to go to work the next day because I knew he’d talk to me. I wanted to tell my mother about what I had just experienced, but I feared it might lead to something more chaotic. I opted to stay quiet.
I was scared. And I was concerned of my safety.
I couldn’t think of any other way to solve the problem than to lie about being in a relationship with somebody in Cambodia. I had to make up stories about my “boyfriend” to one of my officemates because I knew that the story will reach to my boss’ ears. I thought that if he’d know that I was dating someone, he would stop offering me indecent proposals.
I was right.
At 3pm on May 10, my boss sent me a WhatsApp message. “I heard you’re in love?”
I answered him, “Yes sir, and I really respect my relationship with him.”
Then he said “About my offer please forget it. I’m sorry I didn’t want to ruin your relationship.”
It was supposed to be good news. But it wasn’t.
As I was heading to my scheduled coverage, he sent me another message, asking if I can still consider his offer…if I can consider him.
I replied, “I can be your friend, your closest friend sir (like his relationship with his PA and the Admin/Finance Head as he once mentioned he considers those two as his close friends). If you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me but with sexual activities? Sorry Sir, I cannot give you that.”
And then he still insisted. He said he would pay me $1,000 every month, on top of my regular salary to do the “other job” he wanted me to do. (I have copies of the conversation to support my claim.)
Everything felt like a blur. I kept asking myself, “Why did the company hire me?” I was wondering if my boss already thought of offering me indecent proposals when he interviewed me online.
It felt like an insult. I know that I have the ability to do great at my job. But after his offer, I questioned if my skills were even considered when I was hired.
I wanted to pull myself out of the situation, go back to my home country and never look back. Being sexually harassed by a person you have shown great respect is a torture. I didn’t even want to go to work or to go to client events.
My boss said he noticed the changes in me. He knew I was bothered.
After contemplating on things, I filed my resignation on May 21, 2019 with effectivity date on May 24.
After receiving my resignation letter, my boss called me to his office and asked for the real reason I was quitting.
I told him the truth. I told him that he was very unprofessional and that he was very disrespectful. I told him that offering his employee indecent proposal is so unbecoming for a boss like him.
I told him I don’t care about his money. All I care about is my job, my kids and my dignity.
And as if he still didn’t understand, he asked: “Why are you bothered? I am not bothered.”
It was when I realised that my boss isn’t just a pervert. He’s heartless.
I gave up a good career in my hometown and left my two kids because I thought the job he offered me here in Phnom Penh would bring me success. In just a month, he ruined my dreams.
Before he dismissed me, he instructed me to delete all our WhatsApp conversations and to never tell anybody about the proposal. He said it would ruin “our” reputation.
But I knew he was worried about his reputation, not mine.
Days after, he began spreading twisted information that I offered myself to him in exchange for a better future and that he declined “my offer”.
He told almost everyone in the company that he got me blacklisted in the Cambodian immigration, and that I cannot come back to the country anymore. He tarnished my name during meetings with people who were not involved in the situation. He called me a “brat” and a “prima donna”, as if the people he was talking with knew who I was.
I know all these things and all the lies that he spread against my name because I have loyal friends in the office. I may have stayed for only a very short time there, but I know and I am sure that I have made genuine friendship with some of my colleagues – even much more than what he has established in the last five years he has ran the publication.
Now that I am back in my home country and I am sure of my total safety, I am sending this open letter to the Philippine Embassy in Phnom Penh and to other respectable publications in Cambodia. To be a victim of sexual harassment is embarrassing and disturbing. It made me question my worth and my purpose.
But I refuse to be defeated in this battle my boss has started. I won’t back down because I know my truth. He can spread whatever lies he can make to save his name, but I have solid evidence with me.
I refuse to stay quiet now. I am a woman with dignity and pride. And I will uphold this no matter how many times cold-hearted people like my boss try to trample it.
I was sexually harassed by my boss at Khmer Times. I was a socialite writer at the publication, having hired just in April. But because of the troubling situation I was in, I decided to quit immediately and flew back to my home country.
It all started on May 9, 2019 (Thursday). I attended the farewell party of EU Ambassador to Cambodia with my boss. Because it was already 8 o’clock in the evening and the party only served cocktail food, I accepted my boss’ offer to eat dinner. It wasn’t an unusual invite, as my boss always have lunch and dinner meetings with his employees.
While eating, he asked me: “What do you want to do with your life?”
As a new socialite writer of the company, “I want to become more popular so I can get tons of events for my section (socialite page on the main paper)”.
To which he replied, “You know April, if you want to be popular and you want to be a successful socialite here in Cambodia, you have to have money. We cannot deny that you have the looks and you’re already flaunting it, but you also need money. If you don’t have money, how can you be an effective socialite? Let me ask you, do you want a better life?”
Thinking that these questions are all connected to my job in the company, I answered him confidently. “Yes, Sir. I want a better life for me and for my kids.”
He smiled and said, “I will help you with that. I’ll offer you something, I don’t care how you will call it. You can call it friends with benefits or whatever, but I can give you a better life. I will protect you. I will protect you from the people in the company. You want to transfer to a new apartment? I can give you a very private, well secured flat, but we must wait for 6 months cause that’s in your contract, after 6 months you can transfer to a new private apartment. In condition that whenever I need you, you’ll be there for me. If I need you to be with me, you’ll be there for me. I need a companion and I’m sick and tired of this boring life, but don’t tell my PA or anyone. This conversation will just be between you and I, and don’t worry I know you’re dating someone, I don’t care about your personal life and the time that we’ll be spending together is during office hours only.”
I got confused, my feet began to tremble and feel cold. I knew what he was trying to imply, but I didn’t know what to say.
All I wanted that time was to end the conversation and run home.
Then it hit me, I was already afraid. Very terrified that he might do something to me on that night.
After eating, he told me to think about his offer. Luckily, only his driver took me to my apartment. I was very scared. I had anxiety attack after. I didn’t want to go to work the next day because I knew he’d talk to me. I wanted to tell my mother about what I had just experienced, but I feared it might lead to something more chaotic. I opted to stay quiet.
I was scared. And I was concerned of my safety.
I couldn’t think of any other way to solve the problem than to lie about being in a relationship with somebody in Cambodia. I had to make up stories about my “boyfriend” to one of my officemates because I knew that the story will reach to my boss’ ears. I thought that if he’d know that I was dating someone, he would stop offering me indecent proposals.
I was right.
At 3pm on May 10, my boss sent me a WhatsApp message. “I heard you’re in love?”
I answered him, “Yes sir, and I really respect my relationship with him.”
Then he said “About my offer please forget it. I’m sorry I didn’t want to ruin your relationship.”
It was supposed to be good news. But it wasn’t.
As I was heading to my scheduled coverage, he sent me another message, asking if I can still consider his offer…if I can consider him.
I replied, “I can be your friend, your closest friend sir (like his relationship with his PA and the Admin/Finance Head as he once mentioned he considers those two as his close friends). If you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me but with sexual activities? Sorry Sir, I cannot give you that.”
And then he still insisted. He said he would pay me $1,000 every month, on top of my regular salary to do the “other job” he wanted me to do. (I have copies of the conversation to support my claim.)
Everything felt like a blur. I kept asking myself, “Why did the company hire me?” I was wondering if my boss already thought of offering me indecent proposals when he interviewed me online.
It felt like an insult. I know that I have the ability to do great at my job. But after his offer, I questioned if my skills were even considered when I was hired.
I wanted to pull myself out of the situation, go back to my home country and never look back. Being sexually harassed by a person you have shown great respect is a torture. I didn’t even want to go to work or to go to client events.
My boss said he noticed the changes in me. He knew I was bothered.
After contemplating on things, I filed my resignation on May 21, 2019 with effectivity date on May 24.
After receiving my resignation letter, my boss called me to his office and asked for the real reason I was quitting.
I told him the truth. I told him that he was very unprofessional and that he was very disrespectful. I told him that offering his employee indecent proposal is so unbecoming for a boss like him.
I told him I don’t care about his money. All I care about is my job, my kids and my dignity.
And as if he still didn’t understand, he asked: “Why are you bothered? I am not bothered.”
It was when I realised that my boss isn’t just a pervert. He’s heartless.
I gave up a good career in my hometown and left my two kids because I thought the job he offered me here in Phnom Penh would bring me success. In just a month, he ruined my dreams.
Before he dismissed me, he instructed me to delete all our WhatsApp conversations and to never tell anybody about the proposal. He said it would ruin “our” reputation.
But I knew he was worried about his reputation, not mine.
Days after, he began spreading twisted information that I offered myself to him in exchange for a better future and that he declined “my offer”.
He told almost everyone in the company that he got me blacklisted in the Cambodian immigration, and that I cannot come back to the country anymore. He tarnished my name during meetings with people who were not involved in the situation. He called me a “brat” and a “prima donna”, as if the people he was talking with knew who I was.
I know all these things and all the lies that he spread against my name because I have loyal friends in the office. I may have stayed for only a very short time there, but I know and I am sure that I have made genuine friendship with some of my colleagues – even much more than what he has established in the last five years he has ran the publication.
Now that I am back in my home country and I am sure of my total safety, I am sending this open letter to the Philippine Embassy in Phnom Penh and to other respectable publications in Cambodia. To be a victim of sexual harassment is embarrassing and disturbing. It made me question my worth and my purpose.
But I refuse to be defeated in this battle my boss has started. I won’t back down because I know my truth. He can spread whatever lies he can make to save his name, but I have solid evidence with me.
I refuse to stay quiet now. I am a woman with dignity and pride. And I will uphold this no matter how many times cold-hearted people like my boss try to trample it.
Not only is that highly irresponsible it's also a huge red flag. Any mother who willingly gives up their children to work in Cambodia should get their head examined.I gave up a good career in my hometown and left my two kids because I thought the job he offered me here in Phnom Penh would bring me success.
Fucking hell, doesn't she know how to use Google? What kind of life can Cambodia possibly offer that would be worth such a sacrifice?
Borderline personality disorder
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It sounds like she is from the Philippines, so this job could have offered a substantial pay raise and better opportunity to provide for her children and family as a whole.Alexandra wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2019 7:48 amNot only is that highly irresponsible it's also a huge red flag. Any mother who willingly gives up their children to work in Cambodia should get their head examined.I gave up a good career in my hometown and left my two kids because I thought the job he offered me here in Phnom Penh would bring me success.
Fucking hell, doesn't she know how to use Google? What kind of life can Cambodia possibly offer that would be worth such a sacrifice?
Borderline personality disorder
Alexandra, SE Asia (especially Hong Kong and Singapore) have thousands of women just in this situation. They leave their homes and families to become live in domestic workers. You might say that there is a big difference between HK and Cambodia, but for many, the living conditions they are in are no better - they get a small room maybe a couple of metres square to live in, and then have to tend to the family 24hrs for 6 days a week. They get Sunday off so they can either go to church, or sit around on those concrete overpasses for the whole day with all their fellow domestic workers. So, I can see how this might have been an attractive alternative................Alexandra wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2019 7:48 amNot only is that highly irresponsible it's also a huge red flag. Any mother who willingly gives up their children to work in Cambodia should get their head examined.I gave up a good career in my hometown and left my two kids because I thought the job he offered me here in Phnom Penh would bring me success.
Fucking hell, doesn't she know how to use Google? What kind of life can Cambodia possibly offer that would be worth such a sacrifice?
Borderline personality disorder
I must be missing something. Is it not possible to bring children from the Philippines here?
Sure - but they don't in general - it's a case of mummy has gone away to earn us money so we can have a better life. I know many of the domestic workers send almost everything they have back home. It's the same for many of the fathers - they join the shipping industry and spend most of their life on the water - only going home once every few years. It's been in their culture for years................
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Of course it's possible. But it's way more financially viable and practical to keep them at home with relatives. It's not a lack of responsibility, it's practicality.
That's fair enough. It's not often that I change my opinion from these forum things but this is one of those times.
What a cluster fuck. I know that people hire Filipinas for "live in" nannying and such but I didn't imagine it would be so bad. I guess I never thought of it that way.
What a cluster fuck. I know that people hire Filipinas for "live in" nannying and such but I didn't imagine it would be so bad. I guess I never thought of it that way.
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Obviously, Mohan is very creepy to be offering his female staff money to "fulfill his needs" and then demanding that she delete the text exchange when she refused to have any sexual activity with him.
But she doesn't come across well either. She seems quite happy to agree to take his $1,000 a month, saying "I have no problem with that sir," and offers to be his "closest friend, someone to talk to, someone to lean on." That's weird. It appears they were both negotiating on the terms of a paid companionship agreement but she drew the line at no sex.
But she doesn't come across well either. She seems quite happy to agree to take his $1,000 a month, saying "I have no problem with that sir," and offers to be his "closest friend, someone to talk to, someone to lean on." That's weird. It appears they were both negotiating on the terms of a paid companionship agreement but she drew the line at no sex.
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I can see how the texts make it look that way, but I interpreted it more as her trying to take the overall stance that she has no problem whatsoever with being his close friend, but draws the line at any sexual activity. Communication of this nature from one's boss would make most people nervous, especially someone who risked it all to move to another country and has few other options, and especially a woman, as let's face it, sexual harassment from women to men occurs as well but it's far less scary since we are ultimately able to physically push them away.gavinmac wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2019 8:43 am
But she doesn't come across well either. She seems quite happy to agree to take his $1,000 a month, saying "I have no problem with that sir," and offers to be his "closest friend, someone to talk to, someone to lean on." That's weird. It appears they were both negotiating on the terms of a paid companionship agreement but she drew the line at no sex.
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Starving Pelican wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:02 amI can see how the texts make it look that way, but I interpreted it more as her trying to take the overall stance that she has no problem whatsoever with being his close friend, but draws the line at any sexual activity. Communication of this nature from one's boss would make most people nervous, especially someone who risked it all to move to another country and has few other options, and especially a woman, as let's face it, sexual harassment by women towards men occurs as well but it's significantly less scary since, should push come to shove, we are ultimately able to physically push them away.gavinmac wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2019 8:43 am
But she doesn't come across well either. She seems quite happy to agree to take his $1,000 a month, saying "I have no problem with that sir," and offers to be his "closest friend, someone to talk to, someone to lean on." That's weird. It appears they were both negotiating on the terms of a paid companionship agreement but she drew the line at no sex.
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I can see how the texts make it look that way, but I interpreted it more as her trying to take the overall stance that she has no problem whatsoever with being his close friend, but draws the line at any sexual activity. Communication of this nature from one's boss would make most people nervous, especially someone who risked it all to move to another country and has few other options, and especially a woman, as let's face it, sexual harassment by women towards men occurs as well but it's significantly less scary since, should push come to shove, we are ultimately able to physically push them away.gavinmac wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2019 8:43 am
But she doesn't come across well either. She seems quite happy to agree to take his $1,000 a month, saying "I have no problem with that sir," and offers to be his "closest friend, someone to talk to, someone to lean on." That's weird. It appears they were both negotiating on the terms of a paid companionship agreement but she drew the line at no sex.
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To me, those text messages read as though he thinks she wants intercourse/sexual activity but he is saying NO intercourse or sexual activity. None. Only help him in other ways. Crossed wires.
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
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An attractive woman who plays on her looks in an otherwise healthy working environment, can completely destroy a business. I've seen it with my own eyes, a company going from making millions, to closing shop just a few years down the road, just from hiring an outgoing younger female receptionist.
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