New here, but have a wedding question

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New here, but have a wedding question

Postby CodyN » Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:44 am

I am thinking about getting married next year but was concerned about the price of a wedding, the fiancé has told me that her and her family have planned to shorten the traditional wedding from three days to a day and half, they are expecting to see around 200-250 guests which apparently is small. Now my question for a decent wedding what would you suspect the costs to be, if you could give a breakdown even better.

The wedding will be held in Phnom Penh and open to either a tent at the fiancés home or at a venue depending on cost. Just wanted to hear your experiences and see if I'm out to lunch on what a wedding should cost in pp.

Thanks
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby Alexandra » Wed Aug 23, 2017 9:21 am

Before you worry about the cost of the party, do you have a wedding certificate? Getting that alone can easily take 6 months and it will cost you money.

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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby CodyN » Wed Aug 23, 2017 9:22 am

No like I said middle of next year probably, but they are thinking upwards of 22,000USD$
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby pedros » Wed Aug 23, 2017 9:32 am

CodyN wrote:I am thinking about getting married next year but was concerned about the price of a wedding, the fiancé has told me that her and her family have planned to shorten the traditional wedding from three days to a day and half, they are expecting to see around 200-250 guests which apparently is small. Now my question for a decent wedding what would you suspect the costs to be, if you could give a breakdown even better.

The wedding will be held in Phnom Penh and open to either a tent at the fiancés home or at a venue depending on cost. Just wanted to hear your experiences and see if I'm out to lunch on what a wedding should cost in pp.

Thanks


Are you sure this isn't the engagement party?
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby CodyN » Wed Aug 23, 2017 9:45 am

Pretty sure as we are already engaged, and talking about wedding plans, why do you ask that?
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby Hanno » Wed Aug 23, 2017 10:08 am

Darn, my previous reply did not post:

People are expected to bring envelopes with money to the weddings. When I got married years ago (in Vietnam, but same culture) the wedding turned out to cost me pretty much nothing as the envelopes covered it.

Of course, if your wife-to-be decides to have the party at the Raffles, you are well and truly stuffed.
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby YaTingPom » Wed Aug 23, 2017 10:49 am

Don't forget the dowry.
Judging by the wedding plans I'm guessing at least $15k.
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby CodyN » Wed Aug 23, 2017 11:15 am

No we have agreed to no dowry, but he is guesstimating that the wedding will cost around 22k and I feel like I'm getting the wool pulled over my eyes. My friend got married there 5 years ago also with no dowry he had a pretty simple wedding with 100-150 people for about 7k.
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby Spigzy » Wed Aug 23, 2017 12:36 pm

YaTingPom wrote:Don't forget the dowry.
Judging by the wedding plans I'm guessing at least $15k.


Call me a pedant, but no such thing as a dowry in local culture (dowry: property or money brought by a bride to her husband on their marriage) - perhaps there should be! :-)

Bride price also doesn't really happen in my experience of foreigner/Khmer bride weddings; tradition was for the husband to build a house in which the new family could live - I did that, and it wasn't $15k ;)

My experience was similar to Hanno though - you get a good deal of cash back in the wedding envelopes; the street deal (traditionally at the bride's parents' house) plus the reception (wedding hall) was in the $10-$15k range for 250 guests, but you don't get to see much of that- the bride's parents would typically have their hands on it & take care of all the organising/payments, etc. I certainly didn't begrudge my new parents-in-law this either; frankly after my first marriage (UK) the Khmer one was an absolute breeze and I pretty much could sit back and not worry about a thing - a price worth paying in my opinion. Plus this will also get you off on a good footing with the folks, and that will come in very handy when Mrs CodyN starts popping sprogs and the mother-in-law becomes an almost free babysitter.

My only recommendation on this, and also applies to any marriage quite frankly, you better get on with the in-laws; family is extremely important to Cambodians. Foreigners tending to isolate themselves only to their wives & ignoring the immediate family tend not to last too long in matrimony from my observation. Of course there are exceptions, but don't underestimate good Cambodian family relations, there are many positives, not just sick grandmas to add to the expenses.
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby YaTingPom » Wed Aug 23, 2017 1:09 pm

"frankly after my first marriage (UK) the Khmer one was an absolute breeze"
Do you mean the actual wedding party or being married?

I paid money (dowry, gift whatever you want to call it) and it was "offered" to the head of the family at the wedding and then given back to my wife ( :!: ) and we then bought some land together, her then using that money. The family did not get or ask for a cent. :!:

I know a guy who paid $100k to the family plus he then had to pay for the wedding and when I asked him about the envelopes he just stared at me blankly. A fool and their money etc.

Anyhoo. I still think the op wedding will cost around 10k.
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby scoffer » Wed Aug 23, 2017 2:44 pm

CodyN wrote:No we have agreed to no dowry, but he ,,,.


Are you marrying a He or a She ? as it will alter the advise given.
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby gavinmac » Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:07 pm

YaTingPom wrote:I know a guy who paid $100k to the family plus he then had to pay for the wedding and when I asked him about the envelopes he just stared at me blankly. A fool and their money etc.



100k? Was the bride super-hot looking?
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby Kachang » Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:11 pm

Hanno wrote:Darn, my previous reply did not post:

People are expected to bring envelopes with money to the weddings. When I got married years ago (in Vietnam, but same culture) the wedding turned out to cost me pretty much nothing as the envelopes covered it.

Of course, if your wife-to-be decides to have the party at the Raffles, you are well and truly stuffed.


OP, what Hanno said. But make very clear with your fiancee what to do with that money. You might expect to use it for the party, she might expect you and her hand it over to her parents or buy her land or a house or God knows what. Make sure you have cleared everything up before starting the arrangements. It's very well possible she has some expectations far different from yours, and if you don't clear it up before marriage it might become a spoiler afterwards.
Last edited by Kachang on Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby Kachang » Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:19 pm

YaTingPom wrote:"frankly after my first marriage (UK) the Khmer one was an absolute breeze"
Do you mean the actual wedding party or being married?

I paid money (dowry, gift whatever you want to call it) and it was "offered" to the head of the family at the wedding and then given back to my wife ( :!: ) and we then bought some land together, her then using that money. The family did not get or ask for a cent. :!:


You know what it means if you and her buy land together, don't you? OP, if you don't know what it means use the search function of this forum because there's no such thing as buying land together with your wife for foreigners in Cambodia.
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Re: New here, but have a wedding question

Postby Alexandra » Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:33 pm

I think what people are trying to say is... run. Run as fast as you can. Don't look back.

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