Christmas Cards

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Christmas Cards

Postby scoffer » Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:09 pm

Christmas is coming and I just got off the phone after talking to my first X wife, who is the mother to my second child, but not my first born child.

I was asking her about our daughter who is expecting her 2nd child and how she was progressing.

With humor ( but no malice ) She chided me about my upcoming 3rd child and how things were progressing.

She passed comment on the fact she had offered to neuter me many years back ( using two house bricks slammed together ) and congratulated me on my ability to not reproduce with my second wife, of which I am happy to say I escaped from 11 years ago. She was however, somewhat amused by my fertility with my 3rd wife.

Now, my first non wife who is the mother of my first born along with my first born have both sent me the thumbs up about my upcoming 3rd born.

My daughter, who is my second child to my first wife and is now the Aunt to my two adopted children to my 3rd wife and will soon be the step sister to my 3rd child is about to give birth to my 2nd grandchild.

What I need you help with, how do I identify myself on the Christmas Card.
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby Hanno » Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:14 pm

Image
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby scoffer » Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:26 pm

Correction to first post, it should read 5th grandchild is about to arrive.
The son to the first non wife has 3 children.
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby gavinmac » Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:03 pm

scoffer wrote: My daughter, who is my second child to my first wife and is now the Aunt to my two adopted children to my 3rd wife and will soon be the step sister to my 3rd child is about to give birth to my 2nd grandchild.



this part confused me, because I would have thought that your daughter is not the aunt to your two adopted children, but their sister, by adoption. And that she's not going to be the stepsister to your third child, but the half sister.
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby scoffer » Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:10 pm

gavinmac wrote:
scoffer wrote: My daughter, who is my second child to my first wife and is now the Aunt to my two adopted children to my 3rd wife and will soon be the step sister to my 3rd child is about to give birth to my 2nd grandchild.



this part confused me, because I would have thought that your daughter is not the aunt to your two adopted children, but their sister, by adoption. And that she's not going to be the stepsister to your third child, but the half sister.



1 point to me,
I confused Gav !

But in truth, I'm not sure if I expressed myself correctly.
It's a bit more convoluted than I wrote.
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby violet » Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:15 pm

Half sister not step to one in the oven. step sister to two already existing from third wife but perhaps used aunt in the Cambodian sense
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby Gin&Tonic » Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:23 pm

I got confused. Read it again, still confused.
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby Playboy » Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:06 pm

Maybe all of them could use the salutation, 'Dear Numpty' ??
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby Youn Hoo Fatt » Thu Nov 08, 2018 12:21 am

ImageImage i guess someones got to do it, just glad it wasnt me
yes i had a makeover
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby spitthedog » Thu Nov 08, 2018 12:24 am

I assumed it was going to be a thread about sending digital xmas cards.
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby drwahwah » Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:10 am

whats in a name , Just be happy they get along :)
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby chubacca » Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:33 am

Illiterate?
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby Kachang » Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:34 am

How about just 'Scoffer'?
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Re: Christmas Cards

Postby Miguelito » Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:15 pm

scoffer wrote:
What I need you help with, how do I identify myself on the Christmas Card.


I understand the family tree... but what Christmas card? :eyes:
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