Christmassy Bollocks

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Christmassy Bollocks

Postby Playboy » Tue Dec 04, 2018 2:44 pm

Well it is now December, so all that Bah Humbug nonsense is in full swing back in the West, even here we are getting a steady stream of Ads from all the Bars, Restaurants, Hotels, et cetera.

Of course, this is also a special time of year for another group of people - the LibTatd Brigade of those Permanently Offended

So far this season, we have seen the banning of the classic, 'It's Cold Outside' - apparently it promotes some mythology called Rape Culture.



However, the freshest piece of insanity from the PC Thought Police, is the banning of, 'A Fairytale of New York' everyone's favourate non-christmassy Christmas song.



And the reason for this ...

One of the lines contains the word [email protected] - lovely, lovely man

It is enough to make a gecko laugh.
"We, the sons of John Company, have arrived"
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby kinard » Tue Dec 04, 2018 2:55 pm

Very funny.

'Lovely, lovely man' is what appears on any post I've made when referring to BSCWAPSADHD and Jep as 'faggots'.

The word 'lovely, lovely man' in the singular is the trigger for the words 'lovely, lovely man' to be added and the word 'fag-got' erased :lol:
"Not my circus, not my monkeys" - KiR
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby Jep » Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:50 pm

The Pilot, the 2 co-pilots , First officer and our dynamic superstar cabin crew wish K440 a very Happy Merry Christmas
Thank You All for you're support over the past year.

BSCW Airways .
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby violet » Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:57 pm

Jep wrote:The Pilot, the 2 co-pilots , First officer and our dynamic superstar cabin crew wish K440 a very Happy Merry Christmas
Thank You All for you're support over the past year.

BSCW Airways .


Biggest fruit loop on the forum. You were robbed when they gave that label to bscw.
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby Indiana » Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:58 pm

First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter
at the pearly gates.

'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must
each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get
into heaven.'

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a
lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set
of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Irishman started searching desperately through his
pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and
asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

Paddy replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby violet » Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:59 pm

Lol
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby pedros » Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:09 pm

Change the lyrics to

"Ya scumbag, ya maggot, ya taped over Taggart" to bring a PC (and 1980's Scottish cop show vibe) to the song.
Under threat of legal action
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby newnewnewbie » Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:11 pm

Yes, the holidays are indeed more joyful from these parts. I could never get into the forced upon joys of purchasing various items to be wrapped in paper, and keeping the receipts, for all the returns, due to misguided choices. I can deal with the Khmer version of 'last christmas', at least it's a change from the usual recording with Wham, of which I have come to loathe.
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby Jep » Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:14 pm

violet wrote:
Jep wrote:The Pilot, the 2 co-pilots , First officer and our dynamic superstar cabin crew wish K440 a very Happy Merry Christmas
Thank You All for you're support over the past year.

BSCW Airways .


Biggest fruit loop on the forum. You were robbed when they gave that label to bscw.

Excuse me?..shall we go back to Page 1. its all ur fault. Witch.
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby violet » Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:19 pm

Jep wrote:
violet wrote:
Jep wrote:The Pilot, the 2 co-pilots , First officer and our dynamic superstar cabin crew wish K440 a very Happy Merry Christmas
Thank You All for you're support over the past year.

BSCW Airways .


Biggest fruit loop on the forum. You were robbed when they gave that label to bscw.

Excuse me?..shall we go back to Page 1. its all ur fault. Witch.


I know without doubt it is not all my fault. Over and out.
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby horace » Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:43 pm

Indiana wrote:First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter
at the pearly gates.

'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must
each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get
into heaven.'

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a
lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set
of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Irishman started searching desperately through his
pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and
asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

Paddy replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......


That made me laugh out loud in the beach bar I am sitting in and all the staff looked at me and smiled a knowing smile.
Cheers
k440, something to do when you're pissed.
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby Garry Crabtree » Tue Dec 04, 2018 6:41 pm

horace wrote:
Indiana wrote:First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and........

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......


That made me laugh out loud in the beach bar I am sitting in and all the staff looked at me and smiled a knowing smile.
Cheers

Horace is clearly suffering with premature congratulations!
My posts are just jokes, maybe they're rude, offensive, and politically incorrect. They're not my opinion, viewpoint, idea, or judgement, but they're just fucking jokes so lighten up.
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby ផោមក្លិនស្អុយ » Tue Dec 04, 2018 7:16 pm

pedros wrote:Change the lyrics to

"Ya scumbag, ya maggot, ya taped over Taggart" to bring a PC (and 1980's Scottish cop show vibe) to the song.

Plagiarism!

I read that on Twitter a few days ago.
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby Lucky Lucan » Tue Dec 04, 2018 10:19 pm

pedros wrote:Change the lyrics to

"Ya scumbag, ya maggot, ya taped over Taggart" to bring a PC (and 1980's Scottish cop show vibe) to the song.


The Pogues had a song "Boys from the County Hell", the "Lend me ten pounds and I'll buy you a drink" one.

It had this line:

At the time I was working for a landlord
And he was the meanest bastard that you have ever seen
And to lose a single penny would grieve him awful sore
And he was a miserable bollocks and a bitch's bastard's whore




Which for the radio-friendly version became:

At the time I was working for a landlord
And he was the meanest type of swine that you did ever see
And to lose a single penny, would grieve him till he swore
And he was a miserable skinflint, an affliction and a sore





It also contains this memorable line:

The boys and me are drunk and looking for you
We'll curse your living entrails and we won't give a damn
Me daddy was a blue shirt and my mother a madam
My brother earned his medals at Mai Lai in Vietnam
8-)
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
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Re: Christmassy Bollocks

Postby charliethreezero » Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:21 am

Image

Could not find a wife beater and crocs version..
Fat people are harder to kidnap..
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