7 Reasons Why You Should Never “Friend” Cambodian Women on FacebookMarch 10, 2013
It’s been five months since I wrote “7 Reasons Why You Should Friend Cambodian Women on Facebook.” During that time, I followed my own advice and became Facebook friends with a bunch of Cambodian women. This has been an absolute disaster. So I now feel compelled to present the 7 Reasons Why You Should Never “Friend” Cambodian Women on Facebook.
1. Your worlds will collide.
I’ve always advocated that you should keep your Cambodia life separate from your life back in your home country. You friends and family back home do not need to know what you are doing in Cambodia. Sure, they probably assume that you’re drunkenly snorting cocaine off an impoverished hooker’s stomach, but it’s still better if they don’t see photographic proof of this.
One of the problems with Facebook is that, with the exception of private messaging, your interactions with your Facebook friends are generally visible to all of your other friends. The moment that you “friend” a Cambodian woman on Facebook, this event will be broadcast to all of your other Facebook friends.
Many Cambodian women look younger than their real ages. They also tend to use stupid, childish Facebook names instead of their real names. So when you “friend” a Cambodian woman on Facebook, all of your friends back home will receive a notice saying something like “Thomas is now friends with SreySweetLonelyCutieKittenFace.” That’s not good.
When your friends see that, they will be curious about who the hell “SreySweetLonelyCutieKittenFace” is. They will undoubtedly click through to her Facebook profile.
SreySweetLonelyCutieKittenFace will probably have a lot of profile photos of herself in childish poses, like pouting and poking her cheek with her index finger. While wearing an Angry Birds t-shirt. Even if she’s 22 years old, none of your friends will believe she is over 18. You will look like a total creep. Once you become Facebook friends with three or four of these women, it will be very apparent to your family back home that you aren’t really in Cambodia “for the temples.”
2. Their Facebook posts are totally depressing.
Western women generally use Facebook to post about events. Things that they are doing. They post about their vacations, their hobbies, their kids’ soccer games, and other activities that nobody fucking cares about.
Cambodian women don’t have money to do interesting things. And because of their difficult upbringings, they don’t have a lot of hobbies. When most Cambodian women were old enough to help out around the house, they worked. No one paid for them to take yoga classes and equestrian lessons.
So, Cambodian women don’t use Facebook to post about activities and things they are doing. They use Facebook to post about emotions. Things that they are feeling. After all, feelings are free.
Here’s what’s strange about this. In person, most young Cambodian women are happy, pleasant, charming individuals. They are quick with a smile, and they love to laugh and have fun. But on Facebook, these same young Cambodian women are a bunch of headache-having, stomach-aching, heartbroken, lonely, suicidal attention-seekers. I’d say that 90% of their Facebook updates are sad comments about their miserable lives. The remaining 10% are mostly about noodle soup.
3. You don’t have to “friend” Cambodian women because they have no privacy filters anyway.
In my previous article, I pointed out that Facebook is a good way to investigate a Cambodian woman’s life history and suitability for marriage. Her Facebook profile and photos will tell you how she spends her free time and how many white dudes she has probably slept with.
Most Western women apparently live in fear of stalkers, bill collectors, and identify thieves, so they always have their Facebook profiles set to “private.” You can’t see any of their profile photos or learn any information about them at all unless they first accept your “friend request.”
Fortunately, Cambodian women have no such privacy hangups. Most of them have their Facebook profiles set to “public,” so that everyone with internet access can see their photos and read their mopey status updates.
Here’s how you can use this to your advantage. If you meet a Cambodian woman who interests you, ask for her Facebook handle. Then look up her profile, check out all of her photos, but never send her a friend request. You’ll get to see all of the photos and information about her, without her learning anything about you. As an added bonus, she’ll be left wondering why you asked for her Facebook ID but then never sent her a friend request. This will make you seem much more attractive to her. Women love the snub.
4. Their comments will embarrass the shit out of you.
One of the problems with befriending Cambodian women on Facebook is that they will then have free rein to post inane comments on your Facebook page in response to all of your status updates and photos. It’s bad enough that you’re Facebook friends with a bunch of 22 year old Asian chicks who look 17. When they start posting comments all over your Facebook page in broken English, you’re going to look even creepier.
Their comments will be visible to all of your Facebook friends and family members, and you never know when they might say something inappropriate. Imagine if you post a photo of your five year old niece, and then one of your Cambodian female friends comments that the photo is “sexy nas.” That’s the kind of stuff they do. Often.
5. They will “tag” you in all of their photos for no reason.
Facebook has a feature called photo “tagging.” When you post a photo, you have the option to identify other people who are in the photo by “tagging” their names to the photo. This means that your photo will be publicized not just to your friends, but also to all of the friends of the person who you just “tagged” in the photo.
Cambodians don’t understand the concept of Facebook tagging. A Cambodian woman will post a photo of just herself and then randomly “tag” 15-20 friends’ names to the photo for no apparent reason. Including you.
So what ends up happening is that your own Facebook profile will soon be dominated by a bunch of random photos of Cambodian chicks eating dinner, attending weddings, and posing in bathroom mirrors. And God forbid that that one of your Cambodian female friends works in a girly bar. Every now and then she’ll suddenly post a photo of herself and all of her scantily-clad bargirl friends and then “tag” you in that photo. This means that her slutfest snapshot will promptly be publicized to all of your own Facebook friends as a “photo of Thomas.” You really don’t need that.
6. Friending Cambodian women on Facebook gives them another way to stalk you.
Cambodian women can be very accomplished stalkers. They call at odd hours, they check up on your whereabouts, and they gossip about your comings and goings. Befriending them on Facebook gives you information about them, but it also gives them information about you. An attentive Cambodian woman who monitors your Facebook profile will soon see the names, photos, and comments of all of her competitors, i.e. other Cambodian women.
It’s really hard to juggle relationships with multiple Cambodian women if you are friends with all of them on Facebook. They will soon know all about each other, and they will be able to contact each other to compare notes. You will have no longer have any secrets at all, and if one of the girls holds a grudge, it won’t be safe to leave your apartment.
I mentioned earlier that Cambodian women often post about their feelings. Well, if you’re in a relationship with a Cambodian woman, many of her day-to-day feelings will probably be about you. She will have no qualms about using Facebook to publicly broadcast where you stand with her on a daily basis.
Let’s say that you’re dating a Western woman, and one day she catches you glancing across a restaurant at another woman. The Western woman may tell you to stop and that it hurts her feelings. More likely, she’ll give you the silent treatment, withhold sex, and then claim that nothing is bothering her until you eventually guess what you’ve done wrong. In any event, the situation will eventually be resolved. Privately.
If you disappoint a Cambodian woman, she will immediately go to Facebook to report to all of her friends about how you’ve screwed up. And she’ll probably exaggerate it for dramatic effect. If a Cambodian woman catches you glancing across a restaurant at another woman, she will go on Facebook and post, “Today I so sad because my boyfriend love someone else.” Then it will be up to you to explain to the entire Facebook world that you’re not a philanderer.
And forget about marrying a Cambodian woman who has Facebook access. Soon she’ll be Facebook friends with all of your closest friends and family members. Her Facebook updates will be an ongoing marriage progress report for all of your friends and family to see. Really, it will just be a litany of posts like, “Today I very bored,” “Marriage can be difficult,” and “I love my husband, but so hard to fake the orgasms.”