Khmers, Gore, Porn, Suicide and Facebook

Cambodian’s use of Facebook is, like many Cambodian things, interesting. Naomi-Collett Ritz examines the phenomenon of Khmers and FB.

The other day on the internet a well-known photojournalist posted a photo of a family standing around an open coffin. The women were crying. The photo showed the face of the dead man peeking out of the shroud he was wrapped in. Someone commented on the photo, complaining that the journalist should use more discretion when publicly sharing photos online because, “people don’t want to see that kind of graphic shit when they open Facebook.”

Then I scrolled down my newsfeed to a photo shared by one of my Cambodian gal pals; the photo showed an infant flattened in the road and surrounded by the feet of onlookers. The caption read: “drivers please to be careful when (sic) drive“. I scrolled down further to the Amazing Cambodia’s FB video feed. I clicked play, so I have no one else to blame for accosting me with a video of a dashboard camera slowing to a stop on the road for a herd of about 30 goats, only to get passed on the left by a speeding truck who just crushes the pack, sending goat bodies flying.

Cambodians’ use of the Facebook is, like many Cambodian things, interesting. Not bad, just different from the ways I am used to. The social nuances in Cambodian culture are portrayed so bluntly on the Facebook, and at the same time the very same nuances are so twisted by some users. That is true back home, as well, but when I brought up the topic up over lunch the other day, my friend dismissed it as growing pains. With a smirk she told me that “they will figure it out.”

Then she told me that she changed her profile picture to a photo of Taylor Hanson, and ever since she changed it all of her Cambodian friends have been messaging her to tell her how beautiful she looks. She just thanks them.

The difference between the way I use the Facebook and the way my Cambodian friends use it stems from distinctions in our two cultures’ sense of what is appropriate. For Westerners, gore is taboo but for Cambodians gore is much more prevalent in their lives and therefore it isn’t really a big deal. Traffic accidents are more common, so Cambodians become desensitized to the violence – both on the Facebook and on the way to work.

Pornography, however, isn’t especially shocking to Westerners but it is very taboo for Cambodians. And yet, more than a few of my past students have added me on the Facebook and they post links to online porn and it’s like, guys. Come on. That is not the shit you “share.”

In the span of less than two weeks I have seen two posts that hinted at suicide. Someone shared a photo they came across that showed a hand holding a sharp metal object and what appears to be a slit wrist. The photo caption read in mangled English, “It’s to late to apologize. I’m not look down. Hummmm will be late to see….. I wish I could love here again happy to know all of you. I’m drunk with the dark night.  bye :/( ” The guy who shared the photo was looking for someone who possibly knew the person who posted the photo. I was in China. I don’t know what came of it.

Last week a Cambodian man I am friendly with and who works at a restaurant in town, posted a photo of himself shirtless in front of his computer, Dr. Dre Beats headphones on, holding a knife in front of his face. He wrote, “One day I will kill my life for it to far away from living.” This instance differs from the post of the slit wrist because I know this man and, unlike the first post I saw, it was not shared in the context of finding the person in the photo so they could get help.

In the States if people saw a similar post on the Facebook they would call emergency services, contact friends or family members and possibly hurry over the guy’s house to check on him. I went to the restaurant to see if he was still working. He agreed to meet with me to talk this week. I wonder if I should treat this the way I would at home? Should I be doing something more? Is he making a threat? Do I chalk this up to a cultural difference?

If nothing else, Facebook is giving Cambodians a better way to connect and communicate with others. The use of the Facebook as a tool in last year’s election proved that. As they continue to “figure it out” I guess I will continue to take the good and hilarious with the bad. People who don’t like it can adjust the settings on their Newsfeed or go read a book.

Naomi-Collett Ritz