Is it rude to ask a Westerner how he met his Asian wife?
-
- Making Khmer girls cry since 2003
- Reactions: 130
- Posts: 21358
- Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:15 pm
Is it rude to ask a Westerner how he met his Asian wife?
I hear that it's rude. I hear that they don't like it one bit.
Do they see it as just an indirect way of asking "So did you meet her in a bar?"
I think it's actually a reasonable and normal question to ask couples how they met, especially when they are from different backgrounds. If two Americans get married, they probably met at school, through friends, at work, etc. Boring. But if a guy I knew told me he was marrying an Icelandic princess, my first question would be "How the hell did you meet an Icelandic princess?"
It's the same when a Westerner marries an Asian woman. It's unusual, there's probably an interesting story. Plus, maybe I'll want to marry an Asian chick some day and I'd like to know where to meet them.
I don't think it's a bad question, and I'm not sure if all guys with Asian wives dislike the question or only those who met their wives in bars.
Do they see it as just an indirect way of asking "So did you meet her in a bar?"
I think it's actually a reasonable and normal question to ask couples how they met, especially when they are from different backgrounds. If two Americans get married, they probably met at school, through friends, at work, etc. Boring. But if a guy I knew told me he was marrying an Icelandic princess, my first question would be "How the hell did you meet an Icelandic princess?"
It's the same when a Westerner marries an Asian woman. It's unusual, there's probably an interesting story. Plus, maybe I'll want to marry an Asian chick some day and I'd like to know where to meet them.
I don't think it's a bad question, and I'm not sure if all guys with Asian wives dislike the question or only those who met their wives in bars.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
I don't think it's a rude question, in fact as you said it is a pretty normal question to ask most couples, I know I was asked it several times as I met new people when I was married previously (to another white westerner), its a bit of an icebreaker.
Even in western society many couples meet now a days through internet dating. Doesn't mean it's not equally exciting and romantic, but some look down on it. Of course western/asian couple or internet couple, may not tell the truth anyway.
I did read on here recently though that it's taken offence to..
Even in western society many couples meet now a days through internet dating. Doesn't mean it's not equally exciting and romantic, but some look down on it. Of course western/asian couple or internet couple, may not tell the truth anyway.
I did read on here recently though that it's taken offence to..
There is always something left to love. And if you ain't learned that, you ain't learned nothing: Lorraine Hansberry
- hanky
- I have attained enlightenment
- Reactions: 7
- Posts: 9826
- Joined: Fri Oct 29, 2004 3:38 am
- Location: Living in a shotgun shack.
I guess it could depend on the circumstances they met, it doesn't bother me at all. Most couples in the west meet for the first at bars/parties, or through friends/work. I met mine through a local friend when I went for dinner at her parent's house one time.gavinmac wrote:I hear that it's rude. I hear that they don't like it one bit.
That's probably because it's thought of by many as the modern equivalent of meeting through a lonely hearts column, and probably deemed a last resort for the desperate.Even in western society many couples meet now a days through internet dating. Doesn't mean it's not equally exciting and romantic, but some look down on it.
Who Gives a Fuck?
I don't think its rude. I met my wife in kindergarten. She was a teacher and I came there to teach English. We hit it off and the rest is history.
If I met her in a bar, I would have the same attitude. Don't focus on the past because you can't change that. The future and what you do with it is much more important.
If I met her in a bar, I would have the same attitude. Don't focus on the past because you can't change that. The future and what you do with it is much more important.
Did you not (or could not) read the next sentence, Slick Shizzle?
- Jacked Camry
- Is the World Outside still there ?
- Reactions: 2
- Posts: 5674
- Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 2:53 pm
Yes, I would say that's true in my experience. And the ones who take offense are not the ones who were met in bars, but the "good girls", because they resent the implication.gavinmac wrote:I hear that it's rude. I hear that they don't like it one bit.
Do they see it as just an indirect way of asking "So did you meet her in a bar?"
It's a cultural divide thing in my opinion, tied up with the unusual situation where a significant amount of older Western guys - younger Asian girls couples are when the girl comes from the bar.
- kinglear#1
- I need professional help
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 1020
- Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:35 pm
- Location: Out in a storm
My wife takes great offence to this. She can hold her head up high. She is a good person, who has never been in a bar.
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven
-
- I Have Not Been Outside in a Week
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 909
- Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:05 pm
yes, specially when you know you shagged her one week before the wedding and she didn't charge you
I accidentally asked a guy the other week how he met his lady friend and he awkwardly skirted round the subject, only to find our later she had been with over 2000 guys. . . .but she loved him of course!
The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people.(Marx)
-
- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
- Reactions: 2
- Posts: 22651
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:31 pm
- Location: Space, maaaan
It's something the couple has to live with. Any Westerner married to a SE Asian woman, especially if there's an age gap, is unfortunately inviting the assumption from other Westerners that his wife was a prostitute. If they don't ask, they're more than likely thinking it and whispering behind your back, so better have it out in the open, in my opinion.
I came, I argued, I'm out
I've been through this one. There wasn't much of an age difference (although it looked as if there was), and obviously I am a dapper chap myself.
Mostly it is frustrated guys with their tongues hanging out and lardly women who realise that they could in no way compete.
Nothing to worry about. It is a big surprise to the girls who have been just average at home to find they are the most attractive thing anyone has ever seen when they get to Peckerwood Alabama or Grimsby England.
Take 'em down to a nice wine bar in Soho and nobody bats an eye; they are all too beautiful themselves to notice.
Mostly it is frustrated guys with their tongues hanging out and lardly women who realise that they could in no way compete.
Nothing to worry about. It is a big surprise to the girls who have been just average at home to find they are the most attractive thing anyone has ever seen when they get to Peckerwood Alabama or Grimsby England.
Take 'em down to a nice wine bar in Soho and nobody bats an eye; they are all too beautiful themselves to notice.
-
- Requiescat In Pace
- Reactions: 2
- Posts: 13463
- Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2003 11:32 am
And that is the thing.Typhoon wrote:I accidentally asked a guy the other week how he met his lady friend and he awkwardly skirted round the subject, only to find our later she had been with over 2000 guys. . . .but she loved him of course!
A few years ago, I got fairly close to a girl who worked in a hostess bar and she was not only stunningly beautiful, but also great fun and really smart. For example, I could talk to her about movies and music and she would have an intelligent opinion and be prepared to discuss and debate. She was lively company and totally the opposite of those sullen sexpat wives who talk among themselves at a separate table from their rowdy beer-guzzling hubbies when they are out and about on a weekend night.
However, the deal breaker was simply the fact that I could not possibly envisage going to the supermarket at the weekend and while wheeling the trolley around the aisles copping the inevitable knowing looks from other expats who had given her a good seeing to in her past life.
Maybe other guys can process this issue, but for me it was a headfuck.
Twitter: Not my circus, not my monkeys - I sold #K440
- Bitteeinbit
- Wibble Wibble ?!?
- Reactions: 1
- Posts: 1990
- Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:14 pm
I don't think it's rude in any way, just a normal question. Especially if you bring her back West. In PP it's slightly different but I still don't think it's rude. I can normally gauge where a guy potentially met his wife, so in those cases when I suspect a bar, I won't ask (and to be honest, I don't really ask either way). Some guys will be open about it though and tell you straight up they met her in X or Y bar without you ever asking.
I hadn't even though of it that way, but I guess it would be an issue if you plan on staying in PP. It would depend on how long she had been working the bars and weather or not she went out with guys. If she had only worked a bit then you could consider it as her meeting an "ex" even though it's somewhat different, I think the implications are roughly the same. But when I see an ex-bargirl with a guy, I generally feel happy for her (provided the guy is a decent chap).keeping_it_riel wrote:And that is the thing.Typhoon wrote:I accidentally asked a guy the other week how he met his lady friend and he awkwardly skirted round the subject, only to find our later she had been with over 2000 guys. . . .but she loved him of course!
A few years ago, I got fairly close to a girl who worked in a hostess bar and she was not only stunningly beautiful, but also great fun and really smart. For example, I could talk to her about movies and music and she would have an intelligent opinion and be prepared to discuss and debate. She was lively company and totally the opposite of those sullen sexpat wives who talk among themselves at a separate table from their rowdy beer-guzzling hubbies when they are out and about on a weekend night.
However, the deal breaker was simply the fact that I could not possibly envisage going to the supermarket at the weekend and while wheeling the trolley around the aisles copping the inevitable knowing looks from other expats who had given her a good seeing to in her past life.
Maybe other guys can process this issue, but for me it was a headfuck.
2000 guys? I doubt that's really possible, unless she had worked the bars for 5 years+ and somehow managed to keep her beauty.Typhoon wrote:I accidentally asked a guy the other week how he met his lady friend and he awkwardly skirted round the subject, only to find our later she had been with over 2000 guys. . . .but she loved him of course!
- Uncle Monty
- 2000+ Posts! Aghh I Have No Mates
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 2060
- Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:26 am
- Location: Erehwemos
I've lived here too long, I can pick up where the wife was before. Plus can point out which wives are talking about how much their husband spent when they are in their wives corner.
Initial question ....I won't ask.
Initial question ....I won't ask.
Dictated to a slave and sent by carrier pigeon.
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
-
Naked Westerner passed out in front of Butterfly Bar
by Yo Teach! » Sun Feb 14, 2021 11:27 am » in Cambodia Speakeasy - 33 Replies
- 7709 Views
-
Last post by Alexandra
Sat May 20, 2023 2:50 pm
-
-
-
Westerner in uniform gets punchy on Chinese guy. (Video, after the fact)
by Londo » Fri May 26, 2023 4:11 pm » in Thailand, Vietnam, Myanmar and Lao forums - 0 Replies
- 897 Views
-
Last post by Londo
Fri May 26, 2023 4:11 pm
-
-
-
Drunk Westerner skips bill, pulls gun (Mark Aspinall “Mishmash” from England)
by gavinmac » Tue Apr 28, 2020 10:06 am » in Cambodia Speakeasy - 519 Replies
- 63701 Views
-
Last post by Alexandra
Sun Jan 09, 2022 11:15 pm
-
-
-
What Attracts Asian Women
by Vikingwannabe » Thu Jun 30, 2022 9:37 pm » in Family, children and relationships - 15 Replies
- 3141 Views
-
Last post by ផោមក្លិនស្អុយ
Fri Jul 01, 2022 11:25 am
-