When Cambodia goes wrong and how to fix it
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When Cambodia goes wrong and how to fix it
I came across this old story this morning while rejigging the archives. It was written a few a few years ago, but I think is still quite relevant.
Three years into your Cambodian expatriate experience, the shine can come off the ball and your love affair with all things Khmer can become tarnished leaving a tart and unpleasant aftertaste. Expat life in Cambodia has long ceased to be a sumptuous novelty and the feeling of being in a magic castle has gradually evaporated.
The heat, once such refreshing respite from the doom and gloom of Europe, can suddenly seem oppressive.
Bars once much appreciated can become as boring and stale as the bargirl's ''How are you yesterday,'' flaccid one liners that you've heard a million times too many.
Maybe you've gained a little extra poundage. The fun gained from recreational drug use has disappeared as surely as your sun drenched weekend party pilling experiences evaporated on a gloomy Sunday afternoon; perhaps to be replaced by a nagging dependency on more damaging pharmaceuticals, be they the zombified, dull-eyed pleasures bestowed by the tranquilisers so easily available in Phnom Penh or the endless mechanical chugging down of beer flagons late into the night.
And then there are the ragged twisted pleasures of yamma and ice, which, once crystallized into a smoking habit, have seen the rapid decline and fall of many an expatriate.
That young woman you met in a bar and so hastily moved in to your apartment has stopped being fun and frisky and has instead become a weighty millstone around your neck or a cunning little slyboots, siphoning off your cash at every opportunity.
The initially comical and corrupt machinations of those at the top of Khmer society no longer seem amusing but loom large as evil and oppressive; they nag away at your conscience. The massive and growing gap between rich and poor and the sheer contempt the Khmer robber barons have for those at the bottom of the barrel has stopped being a cultural novelty and has become an eyesore and an affront to any sense of social justice you may still have.
Even that moneyed local who blatantly pushed in front of you at the line in the supermarket is no longer someone you can turn a blind eye to and instead you've been left quietly seething at the arrogance displayed by the arrogant cock .
As an experienced healthcare professional, I would diagnose a case of 'delayed culture shock' or, using the latest terminology, 'Expatriate Burn-Out Syndrome,' signs and symptoms of which may well include all of the above, plus peevish and occasionally petulant behaviour veering between morbid silences and caustic outbursts. Nevertheless, there is no need for a gloomy postscript and full remission from this perilous state is possible without having to take the drastic action of booking a one way flight home.
Firstly, recognise that your maudlin condition is not the fault of the average Khmer who is simply getting on with his or her life. You are an uninvited guest in their country. Sometimes you amuse them and sometimes you can be a bit of a nuisance. Stop feeling so important. 'Java' regulars, muesli weavers, denizens of Rubies, bible wielders, those on western salary hardship postings and those foreigners that come here to provide 'aid and assistance' but end up acting as obscenely paid performing dogs to the ruling cliques may wish to bear this in mind as they lead their pampered existence in Cambodia.
But you're in chaos and the pressure is on so lets discuss the treatment which fortunately is free and in the main consists of developing DIY coping strategies for when the inevitable rupture occurs.
Firstly, if you are teaching ESL then stop thinking of it as an unfortunate obligation to be endured, or hack work of the dullest kind that has to be got through in order to get spazzed out of your baps as quickly as possible afterwards.
Immerse yourself in your teaching and gain self esteem. Remember that despite your modest salary you are giving insight and providing mentoring to young Khmers emerging from a hugely damaged and fractured society. The work you do is immeasurably more important than that of the cynical old twat who gets $100,000 a year shuffling papers for the World Bank as a 'renewable energy consultant' or whatever. In 25 years time, those Khmer kids will remember you and that whore-mongering old shit of a consultant will be dead and forgotten, his only legacy being that of bleeding immense amounts of money from one of the world's poorest countries. You, on the other hand, will have put something into the pot. The karma will be yours.
So you're still feeling depressed? Do you still feel that Cambodia which was once such an exciting funhouse has become a less than ornate and stressful sweat chamber?
The next step is to immerse yourself. Start learning Khmer and not from a foul mouthed bar girl but from an educated young Khmer. There are lots of them about and it's not difficult to find them.
In addition, try not going to bars every night of the week. Cook your favourite food at home, take a few early nights and all of a sudden you'll be waking up early with boundless energy.
Set yourself daily achievable tasks, complete them and watch your esteem rise. Perhaps sign up at a health club. Believe it or not there are places where you can take a swim, work out in a clean and safe environment and spend less for a month's access than you would getting on wasted for a couple of midweek nights hedonism in a fettid shithole like Howie's .
Get out of Phnom Penh: Cambodia is a beautiful country and provincial Cambodia is a feast to be enjoyed. Have a couple of nights in the provinces; the sea breeze and fresh seafood found in Kep can have a hugely therapeutic effect. Even taking a flight to Bangkok for a wander around the icy shopping malls, stocking up on a few Western treats can work wonders.
Above all put things in perspective and remember that the torments of the jaded expatriate are not quite the same as those of destitute Khmers or provincial Khmers living on less than a dollar a day.
So, following a few easy and achievable steps, the horrors can be banished. Yes, Cambodia is changing. Can you control that change? No. Can you control your attitude to the changes? Yes.
The dark clouds can be banished to be replaced once more by psychological sunshine interrupted only by the occasional healthy scattered shower.
Three years into your Cambodian expatriate experience, the shine can come off the ball and your love affair with all things Khmer can become tarnished leaving a tart and unpleasant aftertaste. Expat life in Cambodia has long ceased to be a sumptuous novelty and the feeling of being in a magic castle has gradually evaporated.
The heat, once such refreshing respite from the doom and gloom of Europe, can suddenly seem oppressive.
Bars once much appreciated can become as boring and stale as the bargirl's ''How are you yesterday,'' flaccid one liners that you've heard a million times too many.
Maybe you've gained a little extra poundage. The fun gained from recreational drug use has disappeared as surely as your sun drenched weekend party pilling experiences evaporated on a gloomy Sunday afternoon; perhaps to be replaced by a nagging dependency on more damaging pharmaceuticals, be they the zombified, dull-eyed pleasures bestowed by the tranquilisers so easily available in Phnom Penh or the endless mechanical chugging down of beer flagons late into the night.
And then there are the ragged twisted pleasures of yamma and ice, which, once crystallized into a smoking habit, have seen the rapid decline and fall of many an expatriate.
That young woman you met in a bar and so hastily moved in to your apartment has stopped being fun and frisky and has instead become a weighty millstone around your neck or a cunning little slyboots, siphoning off your cash at every opportunity.
The initially comical and corrupt machinations of those at the top of Khmer society no longer seem amusing but loom large as evil and oppressive; they nag away at your conscience. The massive and growing gap between rich and poor and the sheer contempt the Khmer robber barons have for those at the bottom of the barrel has stopped being a cultural novelty and has become an eyesore and an affront to any sense of social justice you may still have.
Even that moneyed local who blatantly pushed in front of you at the line in the supermarket is no longer someone you can turn a blind eye to and instead you've been left quietly seething at the arrogance displayed by the arrogant cock .
As an experienced healthcare professional, I would diagnose a case of 'delayed culture shock' or, using the latest terminology, 'Expatriate Burn-Out Syndrome,' signs and symptoms of which may well include all of the above, plus peevish and occasionally petulant behaviour veering between morbid silences and caustic outbursts. Nevertheless, there is no need for a gloomy postscript and full remission from this perilous state is possible without having to take the drastic action of booking a one way flight home.
Firstly, recognise that your maudlin condition is not the fault of the average Khmer who is simply getting on with his or her life. You are an uninvited guest in their country. Sometimes you amuse them and sometimes you can be a bit of a nuisance. Stop feeling so important. 'Java' regulars, muesli weavers, denizens of Rubies, bible wielders, those on western salary hardship postings and those foreigners that come here to provide 'aid and assistance' but end up acting as obscenely paid performing dogs to the ruling cliques may wish to bear this in mind as they lead their pampered existence in Cambodia.
But you're in chaos and the pressure is on so lets discuss the treatment which fortunately is free and in the main consists of developing DIY coping strategies for when the inevitable rupture occurs.
Firstly, if you are teaching ESL then stop thinking of it as an unfortunate obligation to be endured, or hack work of the dullest kind that has to be got through in order to get spazzed out of your baps as quickly as possible afterwards.
Immerse yourself in your teaching and gain self esteem. Remember that despite your modest salary you are giving insight and providing mentoring to young Khmers emerging from a hugely damaged and fractured society. The work you do is immeasurably more important than that of the cynical old twat who gets $100,000 a year shuffling papers for the World Bank as a 'renewable energy consultant' or whatever. In 25 years time, those Khmer kids will remember you and that whore-mongering old shit of a consultant will be dead and forgotten, his only legacy being that of bleeding immense amounts of money from one of the world's poorest countries. You, on the other hand, will have put something into the pot. The karma will be yours.
So you're still feeling depressed? Do you still feel that Cambodia which was once such an exciting funhouse has become a less than ornate and stressful sweat chamber?
The next step is to immerse yourself. Start learning Khmer and not from a foul mouthed bar girl but from an educated young Khmer. There are lots of them about and it's not difficult to find them.
In addition, try not going to bars every night of the week. Cook your favourite food at home, take a few early nights and all of a sudden you'll be waking up early with boundless energy.
Set yourself daily achievable tasks, complete them and watch your esteem rise. Perhaps sign up at a health club. Believe it or not there are places where you can take a swim, work out in a clean and safe environment and spend less for a month's access than you would getting on wasted for a couple of midweek nights hedonism in a fettid shithole like Howie's .
Get out of Phnom Penh: Cambodia is a beautiful country and provincial Cambodia is a feast to be enjoyed. Have a couple of nights in the provinces; the sea breeze and fresh seafood found in Kep can have a hugely therapeutic effect. Even taking a flight to Bangkok for a wander around the icy shopping malls, stocking up on a few Western treats can work wonders.
Above all put things in perspective and remember that the torments of the jaded expatriate are not quite the same as those of destitute Khmers or provincial Khmers living on less than a dollar a day.
So, following a few easy and achievable steps, the horrors can be banished. Yes, Cambodia is changing. Can you control that change? No. Can you control your attitude to the changes? Yes.
The dark clouds can be banished to be replaced once more by psychological sunshine interrupted only by the occasional healthy scattered shower.
Twitter: Not my circus, not my monkeys - I sold #K440
- Bitteeinbit
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Rings true for any expat living in most third-world countries. Good article.
To be honest I was never under the impression that as ESL teachers we ever made "a difference" or an improvement in the lives and futures of young Asians. Not only for Cambodia but other countries as well, I was never under the impression, not for long anyways, that we are mentors for them, and likewise after years here I've come to realize that students don't remember us as well. "You, ..., will have put something into the pot." Not really.
Still some good points in there and it probably wasn't an easy writeup in just 10 minutes. Just one little section I see disagreement with.
Still some good points in there and it probably wasn't an easy writeup in just 10 minutes. Just one little section I see disagreement with.
- hanky
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It's on 51 street, a couple of doors away from Heart of Darkness. It's a regular bar with a pool table, no hostesses. It's only open late and I haven't been there in years.Florida wrote:Where is....... Howies..?
Who Gives a Fuck?
Thanks !
Heart ? If that is the place called Hot O Dok niss, I want to go there.
Or, Pa too
Heart ? If that is the place called Hot O Dok niss, I want to go there.
Or, Pa too
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I wouldn't call Howie's a den of hedonism as the article suggests. As Hanky says, it's a regular bar, but it's on the St. 51 late night strip.
I think it actually opens at 7 or 9pm, but it never really has customers before midnight.
I think it actually opens at 7 or 9pm, but it never really has customers before midnight.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
- hanky
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It was already way past it's heydey by then. Around the millennium it was probably the best late-night spot in town.ChoyMai wrote:When men were men and customers got their brains blown out at the bar!hanky wrote:Don't bother, it's absolutely shit. There was a time when it was good, but that was a long, long time ago.
Who Gives a Fuck?
I havent been to howies or the heart in ages-dont miss em.
Last time I saw howie was six months ago in snooky when he took the family on a fishing trip on brians boat and he whinged about the price.
Last time I saw howie was six months ago in snooky when he took the family on a fishing trip on brians boat and he whinged about the price.
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Cheap Chink.ken svay wrote:I havent been to howies or the heart in ages-dont miss em.
Last time I saw howie was six months ago in snooky when he took the family on a fishing trip on brians boat and he whinged about the price.
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Twitter: Not my circus, not my monkeys - I sold #K440
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