Bum Guns and Motodops
-
- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
- Reactions: 2
- Posts: 22651
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:31 pm
- Location: Space, maaaan
Bum Guns and Motodops
Or, 'Why I'm leaving'.
Aye, bum guns and motodops – these are the things I’ll most miss when I leave Cambodia. Well, and the unfeasibly comfortable groove I’ve eased into – the living will never be so easy again. There is one more thing I’ll miss most of all, but I’ll come to that.
Reading through KiR’s 'When Cambodia Goes Wrong and how to Fix It' thread http://www.khmer440.com/chat_forum/view ... =1&t=19032, I could of course relate to a lot of it. I never did drugs, but the hostess bars were fun at first, but lost their appeal long ago. Nevertheless, I was happy and settled in my family and working life until the new year of 2011.
The article states, “The initially comical and corrupt machinations of those at the top of Khmer society no longer seem amusing but loom large as evil and oppressive; they nag away at your conscience. The massive and growing gap between rich and poor and the sheer contempt the Khmer robber barons have for those at the bottom of the barrel has stopped being a cultural novelty and has become an eyesore and an affront to any sense of social justice you may still have.”
Yes, this did disturb me greatly, but having a dim awareness and conscience about these things is not the same as it directly fucking you over and causing real trauma to your family. The activities of those robber barons otherwise known as the Iron Man and King of Koh Kong have caused us real hardship. That land that they stole from us was our insurance policy, to pay for any emergencies. Soon after it was taken my father-in-law fell seriously ill and we no longer had the means to pay his medical bills. Although his condition is terminal, we would have been able to ensure his demise was more comfortable if we could have sold some of the land. As it was, we have to sit by impotently and dose him up at home with morphine (which is also very expensive) until he dies.
What hurts my wife so much is that her father had been a commune chief. He had many opportunities to enrich himself like most commune chiefs do by scamming the people they supposedly represent. He never did that. He was an honest man. The result of his integrity is that the family is impoverished, and now his own representatives are ensuring his painful demise through their corrupt actions. She changed from being a young Cambodian proud of her country to one who hates her country. She doesn’t want to be a Cambodian citizen.
Aside from the emotional effect on her, she rightly points out that if either of us have a moto accident or illness that requires medical treatment, we are screwed. We’d just have to watch the other die, helplessly. After being forced into that situation with her father, she can’t bear to repeat the experience with her husband. She says, if we’re going to be piss poor, we are better off being piss poor in England with a diminishing national health service than in Cambodia which is mostly run by genocidal killers.
Then the article proposed solutions: “Immerse yourself in your teaching and gain self esteem. Remember that despite your modest salary you are giving insight and providing mentoring to young Khmers emerging from a hugely damaged and fractured society.”
This is always the hardest ones for teachers who are fond of their students. The managers often rely on our goodwill and exploit that in lieu of providing decent conditions. But there is a breaking point. There are some very serious issues at my workplace that I have tried to raise awareness of for years, to no avail. I don’t want to go into specifics apart from the personal dimension. Like so many organizations in this country, my university is, at heart, a family business. One individual has an 85% stake, and he provides jobs for his many relations regardless of ability. If you don’t share the blood, you’re not ‘in’ and never will be. That I can reluctantly accept. However, a while ago I failed one lazy student who didn’t even complete the course. She was the daughter of the payroll officer who in turn is a close relation of the founding father. I was punished by being denied a contract. This had practical implications when I turned to the bank to borrow money to help father-in-law. No contract; no loan. Still, however, I carried on out of dedication to my students, but with the university persistently driving down standards while I’m raising them in my classrooms, there gets a point where you realize that you’re pissing in the wind.
As ‘damaged and fractured’ a society as Cambodia is, when I came I believed that at least it was groping its way in the right direction, and that I could offer my skills to move it along. I no longer believe that it is moving in the right direction. The self-serving leadership is just getting smarter in its corruption and the wealth gap is increasing. At the same time, in the realm of education, the gap between Cambodia and other Asian nations is widening every year. I have solutions – real and practical solutions, but they are not welcome in a greedy, closed and complacent environment.
Thus, I’m not returning to England because of any nostalgia or fondness for the old country; it is because there is no future for me in Cambodia. Now, here comes the rub; it was my wife who instigated the decision. Left to my own devices I’d have just moaned and festered over the coming years. The imminent death of her father has caused her to think ahead, to the future. Unfortunately, she has been refused a visa on account of me having insufficient funds. This is particularly galling for three reasons:
1. As an EU citizen I have the right to bring her to settle in any EU country except my home country
2. So many immigrants are allowed to settle in the UK for far less deserving reasons than my wife
3. So many of her friends who are out-and-out two/three-timing slappers get visas courtesy of their idiot rich boyfriends.
Therefore, she has decided that I must go it alone, get a job, get myself settled and then sponsor her to come over. Since we’ve been married 4 years, she’ll have the right of permanent residence and citizenship after three years. We just need to get over the hurdle of getting her into the country.
She’ll work all hours to make and save money in Cambodia while I doss on the sofa of RobW who’s kindly offered to put me up in central London while I get myself sorted. We hope that we’ll be reunited in six months or so, but we’ve got to get the visa application right next time. We had a stormy beginning to our marriage, but in retrospect that resulted in the relationship transforming to be unbelievably strong, so, gut-wrenching though it will be in the short term, I believe that in the long term this is the right decision.
Aye, bum guns and motodops – these are the things I’ll most miss when I leave Cambodia. Well, and the unfeasibly comfortable groove I’ve eased into – the living will never be so easy again. There is one more thing I’ll miss most of all, but I’ll come to that.
Reading through KiR’s 'When Cambodia Goes Wrong and how to Fix It' thread http://www.khmer440.com/chat_forum/view ... =1&t=19032, I could of course relate to a lot of it. I never did drugs, but the hostess bars were fun at first, but lost their appeal long ago. Nevertheless, I was happy and settled in my family and working life until the new year of 2011.
The article states, “The initially comical and corrupt machinations of those at the top of Khmer society no longer seem amusing but loom large as evil and oppressive; they nag away at your conscience. The massive and growing gap between rich and poor and the sheer contempt the Khmer robber barons have for those at the bottom of the barrel has stopped being a cultural novelty and has become an eyesore and an affront to any sense of social justice you may still have.”
Yes, this did disturb me greatly, but having a dim awareness and conscience about these things is not the same as it directly fucking you over and causing real trauma to your family. The activities of those robber barons otherwise known as the Iron Man and King of Koh Kong have caused us real hardship. That land that they stole from us was our insurance policy, to pay for any emergencies. Soon after it was taken my father-in-law fell seriously ill and we no longer had the means to pay his medical bills. Although his condition is terminal, we would have been able to ensure his demise was more comfortable if we could have sold some of the land. As it was, we have to sit by impotently and dose him up at home with morphine (which is also very expensive) until he dies.
What hurts my wife so much is that her father had been a commune chief. He had many opportunities to enrich himself like most commune chiefs do by scamming the people they supposedly represent. He never did that. He was an honest man. The result of his integrity is that the family is impoverished, and now his own representatives are ensuring his painful demise through their corrupt actions. She changed from being a young Cambodian proud of her country to one who hates her country. She doesn’t want to be a Cambodian citizen.
Aside from the emotional effect on her, she rightly points out that if either of us have a moto accident or illness that requires medical treatment, we are screwed. We’d just have to watch the other die, helplessly. After being forced into that situation with her father, she can’t bear to repeat the experience with her husband. She says, if we’re going to be piss poor, we are better off being piss poor in England with a diminishing national health service than in Cambodia which is mostly run by genocidal killers.
Then the article proposed solutions: “Immerse yourself in your teaching and gain self esteem. Remember that despite your modest salary you are giving insight and providing mentoring to young Khmers emerging from a hugely damaged and fractured society.”
This is always the hardest ones for teachers who are fond of their students. The managers often rely on our goodwill and exploit that in lieu of providing decent conditions. But there is a breaking point. There are some very serious issues at my workplace that I have tried to raise awareness of for years, to no avail. I don’t want to go into specifics apart from the personal dimension. Like so many organizations in this country, my university is, at heart, a family business. One individual has an 85% stake, and he provides jobs for his many relations regardless of ability. If you don’t share the blood, you’re not ‘in’ and never will be. That I can reluctantly accept. However, a while ago I failed one lazy student who didn’t even complete the course. She was the daughter of the payroll officer who in turn is a close relation of the founding father. I was punished by being denied a contract. This had practical implications when I turned to the bank to borrow money to help father-in-law. No contract; no loan. Still, however, I carried on out of dedication to my students, but with the university persistently driving down standards while I’m raising them in my classrooms, there gets a point where you realize that you’re pissing in the wind.
As ‘damaged and fractured’ a society as Cambodia is, when I came I believed that at least it was groping its way in the right direction, and that I could offer my skills to move it along. I no longer believe that it is moving in the right direction. The self-serving leadership is just getting smarter in its corruption and the wealth gap is increasing. At the same time, in the realm of education, the gap between Cambodia and other Asian nations is widening every year. I have solutions – real and practical solutions, but they are not welcome in a greedy, closed and complacent environment.
Thus, I’m not returning to England because of any nostalgia or fondness for the old country; it is because there is no future for me in Cambodia. Now, here comes the rub; it was my wife who instigated the decision. Left to my own devices I’d have just moaned and festered over the coming years. The imminent death of her father has caused her to think ahead, to the future. Unfortunately, she has been refused a visa on account of me having insufficient funds. This is particularly galling for three reasons:
1. As an EU citizen I have the right to bring her to settle in any EU country except my home country
2. So many immigrants are allowed to settle in the UK for far less deserving reasons than my wife
3. So many of her friends who are out-and-out two/three-timing slappers get visas courtesy of their idiot rich boyfriends.
Therefore, she has decided that I must go it alone, get a job, get myself settled and then sponsor her to come over. Since we’ve been married 4 years, she’ll have the right of permanent residence and citizenship after three years. We just need to get over the hurdle of getting her into the country.
She’ll work all hours to make and save money in Cambodia while I doss on the sofa of RobW who’s kindly offered to put me up in central London while I get myself sorted. We hope that we’ll be reunited in six months or so, but we’ve got to get the visa application right next time. We had a stormy beginning to our marriage, but in retrospect that resulted in the relationship transforming to be unbelievably strong, so, gut-wrenching though it will be in the short term, I believe that in the long term this is the right decision.
I came, I argued, I'm out
It's a disgrace they won't let your wife return to England with you, an utter disgrace.
-
- Making Khmer girls cry since 2003
- Reactions: 130
- Posts: 21358
- Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:15 pm
Best of luck, Andy. Thanks for sharing that. I'm surprised that being wealthy is important to getting a spouse a visa to the UK. Was this an application for a tourist visa or an immigrant visa? I may be wrong, but I think that immigrant visas to bring spouses the US are easier to come by. Soon American dudes will be able to marry foreign dudes and sponsor them in to the US.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
- Jacked Camry
- Is the World Outside still there ?
- Reactions: 2
- Posts: 5674
- Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 2:53 pm
That's a sad story Andy, and you have my sympathy. Best of luck with it, that's a difficult choice you're making.
-
- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
- Reactions: 2
- Posts: 22651
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:31 pm
- Location: Space, maaaan
It's in my first sentence, but I don't follow it up. Simply, those are the main things I'll miss. I've no idea how to clean my arse in England, and the though of blagging a taxi in central London compared to hopping on a moto and offering 200 riel to get to where toy want to go doesn't bear thinking about.barforsalecambodia wrote:On a separate note, what does the title of your thread mean??
I came, I argued, I'm out
I read this with great interest and regret. Andy, I do hope that your situation and the situation Cambodia is in will change in ways that facilitate your timely return. In the meantime I will miss your posts on here.
AIA will understand this comment- some others won't, but don't get all hot under the collar over it,,, OK
"I was hoping that you would of set me up with one of your 749 female relatives, guess it's my loss". Will you now be running a dating site from the UK ????
Take care mate and I hope that it all get's sorted out in the end.
You may be self opinionated, but you always were honest.
That's a trait that is rare not only in Camb, but also in the world in general.
"I was hoping that you would of set me up with one of your 749 female relatives, guess it's my loss". Will you now be running a dating site from the UK ????
Take care mate and I hope that it all get's sorted out in the end.
You may be self opinionated, but you always were honest.
That's a trait that is rare not only in Camb, but also in the world in general.
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Blinky blimey, I feel for you man. Same in my country, they are harsh on some bona fide situations and in the next breath let all sorts of other scumbags in. Doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason in their decision making. All the very best to you and your family.
"Not my circus, not my monkeys" - KiR
Fucking bastard UK government!
It's just a pity that you are British & can speak English Andy, otherwise you'd be getting the red-carpet treatment. Anyway I'm sure it won't be long until you guys get on your feet.
All the best.
It's just a pity that you are British & can speak English Andy, otherwise you'd be getting the red-carpet treatment. Anyway I'm sure it won't be long until you guys get on your feet.
All the best.
"dge, phn nh"
BirdBrain wrote:Goodluck AiA (or is that AiUK)
Everything will work out.Spouse visas for Australia are not means tested.I'm surprised that being wealthy is important to getting a spouse a visa to the UK.
Uk spouse visas are not means tested, but as person being sponsored will have no excess to public funds,the other partner must be able to prove that they can support them durning they initial 2 years on leave to remain visa. There is no set amount or minimum that you have to have in a bank account, but through my research ( and this I mean applying and getting her visa), you need a place to live that is suitable for a couple, have a family network that will help you, have good employment prospects, choose to live in an area that has low unemloyment, and as the minimum for living in the uk is £96 per week ( as per income support intitlements ) have about 4-5k (£) in savings,then you have a good chance of getting your spouse to the uk. In saying that, you must be able to prove that your marriage, is real and lasting, such a paper trail from Cambodia, joint assets, leases act...
-
- Making Khmer girls cry since 2003
- Reactions: 130
- Posts: 21358
- Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:15 pm
Right you are, I just looked that up now. Will file it away for future reference.jm wrote: Spouse visas to the US require you meet a minimum income requirement which is 100% of what's defined as the poverty line.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
- vladimir
- Feminist Watch List
- Reactions: 4
- Posts: 34235
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2004 7:43 am
- Location: mod edit
Andy, all the best.
You raised a very valid point about the country: there are many local people who are not corrupt, but their honesty not only means they don't gain material benefit, it means that they become persecuted for 'rocking the boat'.The corrupt breed the kind mentality espoused by people who say go to work, get paid, and shut up, we don't like people exposing our bullshit.
Good luck, I hope you don't end up regretting the decision.
I am leaving in the not too distant future too.
You raised a very valid point about the country: there are many local people who are not corrupt, but their honesty not only means they don't gain material benefit, it means that they become persecuted for 'rocking the boat'.The corrupt breed the kind mentality espoused by people who say go to work, get paid, and shut up, we don't like people exposing our bullshit.
Good luck, I hope you don't end up regretting the decision.
I am leaving in the not too distant future too.
ירי ילדים והפצצת אזרחים דורש אומץ, כמו גם הטרדה מינית של עובדי ההוראה.
- violet
- Suspicious Little Mad Woman
- Reactions: 291
- Posts: 19716
- Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2009 9:48 pm
- Location: About as far away as can be.
NO!! not you too, Vlad. All the good guys are going. Oh, what hope Cambodia?
The corrupt always win, because they know the good guys will always be out of the picture at some point. It's a hard battle for those, local and otherwise, who try to walk the straighter line in Cambodia. I have Cambodian friends who are mocked for not being part of the corruption game. It's a damned hard battle for them... and they have no choice but to stay in Cambodia. I can only hope that things improve in some way and they avoid the fate of your father in law.
Wish you and the family all the best, Andy.
The corrupt always win, because they know the good guys will always be out of the picture at some point. It's a hard battle for those, local and otherwise, who try to walk the straighter line in Cambodia. I have Cambodian friends who are mocked for not being part of the corruption game. It's a damned hard battle for them... and they have no choice but to stay in Cambodia. I can only hope that things improve in some way and they avoid the fate of your father in law.
Wish you and the family all the best, Andy.
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
- Plutarch
Hey Andy,
Just to repeat what's been said I'm very sorry to hear that you're leaving. It's a f'n disgrace what happens to good honest people in this country. I wish you all the best back in the UK and a speedy reunion with your misses. maybe you can talk to a plumber and have a bum gun installed once you get settled.
Just to repeat what's been said I'm very sorry to hear that you're leaving. It's a f'n disgrace what happens to good honest people in this country. I wish you all the best back in the UK and a speedy reunion with your misses. maybe you can talk to a plumber and have a bum gun installed once you get settled.
If you ask me why I'm drunk all the time, levels my head and eases my mind. - Bob Dylan "I Shall be Free"
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
-
Thailand's Guns
by Expatissimo » Sat Oct 02, 2021 2:38 pm » in Thailand, Vietnam, Myanmar and Lao forums - 0 Replies
- 1148 Views
-
Last post by Expatissimo
Sat Oct 02, 2021 2:38 pm
-