willie wrote:My Jewish employer says, "When you give something to someone, let not the right hand know what the left hand is doing." I am comfortable with this.
I have been told on more than a few occasions that in Cambodia many want you to keep the price tag on a gift. Is this true? I am almost always asked, "How much did this cost?" At the last two Khmer weddings I attended I was asked what my gift cost.
I still want to know if the Mrs that received 600 dollars a month from her husband, how much did this kind husband earn in one month?
My Dad always turned over to my Mom his check. She was clever with money. It doesn't seem like most posters trust their Khmer lady to run the finances.
Regarding your last point, this is the traditional culture in Cambodia - the husband gives his pay packet to his wife and she manages the budget. I've always done this, but I won't say any more about my marital arrangement due to the constant savaging by the trolls above.
Second point - no idea!
Regarding your first point, this is where there is a sharp divide between SE Asian (I don't say Buddhist) culture and Judeo-Christian culture. I've met very few Cambodians who believe in giving anonymously. Gifts are always given publicly, from names engraved on pagoda walls to names and amount recorded in ledgers at all ceremonies. As I say, in terms of religious teaching, it isn't comparing like with like since Buddha implied (as Maimonides later did) that giving anonymously
transforms the mind from greed to generosity, deepens ones understanding of non-self and inclines one towards nirvana, whereas if one seeks publicity the rewards come in this life only and are not character-building. What you commonly see in Cambodia is more like Western companies giving to charity as a tax-break and marketing ploy rather than from pure motives. So what I'm suggesting is that both in the East and the West you have a small minority who follow the spirit of their religious or humanitarian teachings, and a majority who are motivated by a spectrum of motivations that have an element of self-interest.
And just to reiterate, I never said or even implied my wife was performing an act of charity - that was an assumption imposed by trolls with personal agendas, nothing to do with the discussion in this thread. I would prefer to get back on topic, as willie has done.