Expats who never go home
Expats who never go home
The recent / pending departure of a couple of well regarded long-term expats like MM and jm got me thinking about quite a few expats i bump into who tell me they have never returned to their home country - even for a short visit - for many years since they first arrived. I met one last night who proudly proclaimed he hadn't been back to Australia (where else?) in the 12 years since he left, despite having friends and family there. Is this normal? How often do you go home?
I can't help finding it a bit odd. Am I being cynical when my auto-reflex is to think that they are possibly staying away for some nefarious reason?
I can't help finding it a bit odd. Am I being cynical when my auto-reflex is to think that they are possibly staying away for some nefarious reason?
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KiR hadn't been back to the UK in quite a while, and I think Lucky Lucan hadn't been back for a long time until recently. We did have a poll on this a few years back.
How often do you go back to you home country for a visit?
I don't think expats typically refrain from going back for years/decades because they are wanted criminals. I think many expats just aren't very close with their families back home.
How often do you go back to you home country for a visit?
I don't think expats typically refrain from going back for years/decades because they are wanted criminals. I think many expats just aren't very close with their families back home.
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- RainMan
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I rarely think of 'home' when in Cambodia or SEA for that matter but I have no family ties. It does strike me as unusual if you have family back home though, but, with all sorts of social media (Skype for one) keeping in touch has become more of a accepted norm in these days.
Nefarious...let's see who owns up to that
Nefarious...let's see who owns up to that
Last edited by RainMan on Wed Feb 04, 2015 7:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Never mind.
- Hanno
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I would have to start with figuring out where home is. I am German but I hardly know the place. Last time I went to Germany was on business and that is probably 6-7 years ago.
I spent quite some time in Kenya but it is too far to go to on a regular basis. Plus, it does not have much going for it apart from the National Parks.
Been in Asia for 20 years so I guess that makes it as much home as anything. I will probably retire here.......
I spent quite some time in Kenya but it is too far to go to on a regular basis. Plus, it does not have much going for it apart from the National Parks.
Been in Asia for 20 years so I guess that makes it as much home as anything. I will probably retire here.......
"I realized that If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes."
Charles Lindbergh
Charles Lindbergh
You are being cynical.scobienz wrote:The recent / pending departure of a couple of well regarded long-term expats like MM and jm got me thinking about quite a few expats i bump into who tell me they have never returned to their home country - even for a short visit - for many years since they first arrived. I met one last night who proudly proclaimed he hadn't been back to Australia (where else?) in the 12 years since he left, despite having friends and family there. Is this normal? How often do you go home?
I can't help finding it a bit odd. Am I being cynical when my auto-reflex is to think that they are possibly staying away for some nefarious reason?
I guess it depends on if you still have roots there. For all practical purposes I left the USA in the early 90s on a variety of expat related assignments (although I owned property and maintained residency). By the end of the 90s I sold all my properties and moved to Asia permanently to focus on what essentially was a start-up. My last trip back was a few years after the millennium related celebrations --- to attend a funeral. Unfortunately this was in the aftermath of 911 and I really hated it -- could not wait to leave.
I have no parents, 1 sibling, and my friends have moved all over the 4 corners of the country. Going back to visit people is no simple matter.
Add to this --- while working, I always flew business class and was often upgraded to first. Now I need to watch my money more. Perhaps I have become spoiled --- but as a pretty big guy I cannot imagine sitting crammed into a discount economy seat for 30 hours and 3 stopovers (at least).
This make procrastination easy.
One should not assume that all expats are of the short term contract variety nor should they assume that people who live in SEA long term are on the run from something.
Cheers,
RD
Taxi, we'd rather walk. Huddle a doorway with the rain dogs The Rum pours strong and thin. Beat out the dustman with the Rain Dogs; Oh, how we danced and you Whispered to me ... You'll never be going back home
Partial Lyrics - Tom Waits
Partial Lyrics - Tom Waits
- vladimir
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I have a 20 year sentence hanging over my head for bad puns. Nefarious enough?
What did the Moody Blues say?
You can never really go home anymore
What did the Moody Blues say?
You can never really go home anymore
ירי ילדים והפצצת אזרחים דורש אומץ, כמו גם הטרדה מינית של עובדי ההוראה.
I went home for the first time in 8 years last year. I went for the funeral of a best mate who died suddenly and then obviously also caught up with family which was great but I was glad to get back on the plane.
The reasons I left it so long ? ;
a) For the first couple of years I simply did not want to go home. I am from a huge family and I was just over the family machinations and dramas and was glad to be free .
b) I was so amped on to be living in Cambodia I spent all my time exploring the country on my dirt bike with my now wife , learning the language and immersing myself. As a result,I have seen more of this place than most people here and speak better khmer than most.
c) In the first years here i was earning fucking atrocious money and after my first job folded ( thanks JC Ya cunt )I was out of work for months burning cash until I landed a gig which ultimately , thankfully, launched me to where I am now. This has been a constant for me throughout the 8 years and it has been very stressful. I have had to support a growing family during several extended times of unemployment and savings just get zapped before you know it. Anyone that has an ongoing well paid job here with one employer ( I know few ) should count their luck.
d) Then...a wedding and a kid came along and we threw ourselves into that.
e) The another kid came along and all of a sudden we are looking at 4 plane tickets to get back to Australia and all the associated costs. You do the math.
I am somewhat ashamed to say that my wife and kids have not been to Australia but they are healthy, living in a nice house, being schooled and eat ice cream whenever they want.If i did not have family I could have been going home once or twice a year every year but only someone who supports kids here in Cambodia and all the associated costs knows how it can add up. Somehow in amongst it all we have managed to accumulated land etc so it ain't all bad..
Scobi....as to your suspicions about why people do not go home...kiR being the total cunt that he was once started a rumour about me using 440 as he was want to do - and a time when he had barred me so I could not comment - as was his usual MO being the total cunt that he was. He apparently "KNEW" that I could not go back home as I was on the run from some heinous crime in Australia. I would love to have had the opportunity to stick my boarding pass into his cunty little face before he fell out of his bed. Interestingly....as far as I know he never went home either. I wonder what his issue was.
Basically.....for some of us......going "home" is not a priority and as some are asking....where is "home" anyways ? I am moving countries tomorrow and it feels really weird to be leaving as I kind of feel like Cambodia is home - at least I would like it to be into the future if jobs were easier to land and visa issues don't go sideways. It is certainly where my family is based for now.
I will be interested to see where I am in one,two,five years time.
Mabuhay Yáll
The reasons I left it so long ? ;
a) For the first couple of years I simply did not want to go home. I am from a huge family and I was just over the family machinations and dramas and was glad to be free .
b) I was so amped on to be living in Cambodia I spent all my time exploring the country on my dirt bike with my now wife , learning the language and immersing myself. As a result,I have seen more of this place than most people here and speak better khmer than most.
c) In the first years here i was earning fucking atrocious money and after my first job folded ( thanks JC Ya cunt )I was out of work for months burning cash until I landed a gig which ultimately , thankfully, launched me to where I am now. This has been a constant for me throughout the 8 years and it has been very stressful. I have had to support a growing family during several extended times of unemployment and savings just get zapped before you know it. Anyone that has an ongoing well paid job here with one employer ( I know few ) should count their luck.
d) Then...a wedding and a kid came along and we threw ourselves into that.
e) The another kid came along and all of a sudden we are looking at 4 plane tickets to get back to Australia and all the associated costs. You do the math.
I am somewhat ashamed to say that my wife and kids have not been to Australia but they are healthy, living in a nice house, being schooled and eat ice cream whenever they want.If i did not have family I could have been going home once or twice a year every year but only someone who supports kids here in Cambodia and all the associated costs knows how it can add up. Somehow in amongst it all we have managed to accumulated land etc so it ain't all bad..
Scobi....as to your suspicions about why people do not go home...kiR being the total cunt that he was once started a rumour about me using 440 as he was want to do - and a time when he had barred me so I could not comment - as was his usual MO being the total cunt that he was. He apparently "KNEW" that I could not go back home as I was on the run from some heinous crime in Australia. I would love to have had the opportunity to stick my boarding pass into his cunty little face before he fell out of his bed. Interestingly....as far as I know he never went home either. I wonder what his issue was.
Basically.....for some of us......going "home" is not a priority and as some are asking....where is "home" anyways ? I am moving countries tomorrow and it feels really weird to be leaving as I kind of feel like Cambodia is home - at least I would like it to be into the future if jobs were easier to land and visa issues don't go sideways. It is certainly where my family is based for now.
I will be interested to see where I am in one,two,five years time.
Mabuhay Yáll
Rated R for Ricecakes
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Oh, I heard that one. It wasn't for a heinous crime though when he told me, more of a run of the mill crime. Maybe he embellished over the years.ricecakes wrote: Scobi....as to your suspicions about why people do not go home...kiR being the total cunt that he was once started a rumour about me using 440 as he was want to do - and a time when he had barred me so I could not comment - as was his usual MO being the total cunt that he was. He apparently "KNEW" that I could not go back home as I was on the run from some heinous crime in Australia.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
EMBELLISH ? That cunt ? Surely not !gavinmac wrote:. Maybe he embellished over the years.
I am wondering if people on 440 who thought Pete was a "mate" or at best on terms with them ( the very ones who went to his funeral ) knew half of what he said behind their backs.
I doubt it.
Rated R for Ricecakes
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Haha. DUI if I remember correctly.gavinmac wrote:Oh, I heard that one. It wasn't for a heinous crime though when he told me, more of a run of the mill crime. Maybe he embellished over the years.ricecakes wrote: Scobi....as to your suspicions about why people do not go home...kiR being the total cunt that he was once started a rumour about me using 440 as he was want to do - and a time when he had barred me so I could not comment - as was his usual MO being the total cunt that he was. He apparently "KNEW" that I could not go back home as I was on the run from some heinous crime in Australia.
Funerals are for the survivors --- which is why I remained silent on the whole controversy after his death.ricecakes wrote:EMBELLISH ? That cunt ? Surely not !gavinmac wrote:. Maybe he embellished over the years.
I am wondering if people on 440 who thought Pete was a "mate" or at best on terms with them ( the very ones who went to his funeral ) knew half of what he said behind their backs.
I doubt it.
That said he does seem to be one of the most malicious on-line persona I have ever seen.
Never met him in real life.
Cheers,
RD
Taxi, we'd rather walk. Huddle a doorway with the rain dogs The Rum pours strong and thin. Beat out the dustman with the Rain Dogs; Oh, how we danced and you Whispered to me ... You'll never be going back home
Partial Lyrics - Tom Waits
Partial Lyrics - Tom Waits
Trust me....you missed nothing.Rain Dog wrote:Funerals are for the survivors --- which is why I remained silent on the whole controversy after his death.ricecakes wrote:EMBELLISH ? That cunt ? Surely not !gavinmac wrote:. Maybe he embellished over the years.
I am wondering if people on 440 who thought Pete was a "mate" or at best on terms with them ( the very ones who went to his funeral ) knew half of what he said behind their backs.
I doubt it.
That said he does seem to be one of the most malicious on-line persona I have ever seen.
Never met him in real life.
Cheers,
RD
Rated R for Ricecakes
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when i first moved to se asia ( back in 1984) i did not return to the states for 12 years, Only really went back cause my mom was dying.
Since than i have been back at least 10 times, even lived back in Ca in 1998-99, an than after, wanted my daughter to experience the states.
Now its every 18 months or so to visit her. but never stay more thna 2 weeks, ( thats enough for me)
At first, while i was living here , traveling alot and really enjoying myself, just never felt the need to go back, would imagine now its even easier not to go back what with skype, facebook etc.
IN the 70's early 80's, i would be out of the states for anywhere from 6 months to 2 years as well.
TO each their own, some make our "home"wherever we are easily, some never do
Since than i have been back at least 10 times, even lived back in Ca in 1998-99, an than after, wanted my daughter to experience the states.
Now its every 18 months or so to visit her. but never stay more thna 2 weeks, ( thats enough for me)
At first, while i was living here , traveling alot and really enjoying myself, just never felt the need to go back, would imagine now its even easier not to go back what with skype, facebook etc.
IN the 70's early 80's, i would be out of the states for anywhere from 6 months to 2 years as well.
TO each their own, some make our "home"wherever we are easily, some never do
"We are turning into a nation of whimpering slaves to Fear—fear of war, fear of poverty, fear of random terrorism, or suddenly getting locked up in a military detention camp on vague charges of being a Terrorist sympathizer." HST
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