Engagement with Cambodian woman complex
Engagement with Cambodian woman complex
Hey. I arrived in Cambodia to do some volunteering and fell in love with a Cambodian woman. We started dating and her family wanted to meet me as they want to marry her ASAP since she is 21 years old. I am 26 myself, and have plans to do some charity work here. I never imagined the complexity of marriage in Cambodia. We are having our engagement ceremony soon and there are mixed opinions given from her family and herself for the procedure afterwards. One family member said I can have 3 years to sort out the marriage. She herself is giving me a hard time with saying I have to purchase land and build a house within a year , which she brought up after showing me to her family and everything while I am thinking I am going to rent to live here. One family member said I can think about the land after we marry. The parents do not speak english so it is hard to communicate with me. To make matters even more complex, I believe she's been abused/sold to a brothel at a young age and has after effects of that (perhaps still in the industry on the side) as I discovered some items that lead me to conclude this. I only recently found out after the engagement has already been planned and I have given money for it.
On top of that there are more complex issues (certificate, divorce, etc if she wants to marry just to split the land etc.)
On top of that there are more complex issues (certificate, divorce, etc if she wants to marry just to split the land etc.)
First things first...where did you meet her and how long have you known her?
I'm not a negative person, I encourage people all the time...it's usually to f**k off! But, whatever.
I guess it's as difficult here as elsewhere...kwan wrote:Hey. I arrived in Cambodia to do some volunteering and fell in love with a Cambodian woman. We started dating and her family wanted to meet me as they want to marry her ASAP since she is 21 years old. I am 26 myself, and have plans to do some charity work here. I never imagined the complexity of marriage in Cambodia.
Engagements are rarely broken, if you break up after the engagement your fiancee will be considered 'damaged goods'. Consider engagement to be a wedding in Cambodia.kwan wrote:We are having our engagement ceremony soon and there are mixed opinions given from her family and herself for the procedure afterwards. One family member said I can have 3 years to sort out the marriage.
She knows how to play the game... On the other hand, you might want to buy your own house after marriage in the West too...kwan wrote:She herself is giving me a hard time with saying I have to purchase land and build a house within a year , which she brought up after showing me to her family and everything while I am thinking I am going to rent to live here. One family member said I can think about the land after we marry.
So maybe a full check of STD's is a better investment than land then? Full test will be costy, and some medicine for (common) STD's are not available in Phnom Penh, but it might save her (and your?) future health....kwan wrote:The parents do not speak english so it is hard to communicate with me. To make matters even more complex, I believe she's been abused/sold to a brothel at a young age and has after effects of that (perhaps still in the industry on the side) as I discovered some items that lead me to conclude this. I only recently found out after the engagement has already been planned and I have given money for it.
On top of that there are more complex issues (certificate, divorce, etc if she wants to marry just to split the land etc.)
And before you invest your money in that, maybe consider if you would marry someone who had been sold to brothel back home. Doesn't sound like the best family-in-law you can possibly have. Doing that consideration, use you big head, not the smaller one. But you're a lucky man, the fact she used to have men before you makes the payment to the parents (close to) zero.
Last edited by Kachang on Fri Apr 10, 2015 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Lucky Lucan
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One word- run.
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
Have you read what you've just written kwan?kwan wrote:On top of that there are more complex issues (certificate, divorce, etc if she wants to marry just to split the land etc.)
You're worrying about the logistics of divorce in Cambodia before you've gotten married!!! What does that tell you?
On top of that there are more complex issues
in which bar was she volunteering her services?
My Three Mothers Tell Me I'm An Attention Whore.. I Love My Mums
Explains why they are in such a hurry to marry her off. Take note of the family, are they of reasonably good standing or are they for want of a better term "trailer trash", if the latter steer well clear as they will drain your resources really fast. In any event at 26 you really should not be considering marrying someone who by all accounts may be still involved in the sex industry. Finding she has/is involved in the sex industry is a deal breaker and your get out clause. Cut your losses now. Best advice........bailkwan wrote: I believe she's been abused/sold to a brothel at a young age and has after effects of that (perhaps still in the industry on the side) as I discovered some items that lead me to conclude this. I only recently found out after the engagement has already been planned and I have given money for it.
And the great news: she graduated!vladimir wrote:I think your girl has been studying creative finance at the SM University
RUN
And don't look back
- Jacked Camry
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This hits pretty much all the red flags for me. I have a friend who ended up with a girl who'd been sold to the brothel as a youth by her charming family. Didn't work out well for completely obvious and expected reasons even though he tried his best. Their kid is doing well, as he's the one raising it, but the mother is a lost cause and he's divorced from her now. There's just not much coming back from something as traumatic as being sold into the sex trade as a young person by the people in your family whom you trust. And one of the first rules here about marriage is "check out the family, if they're well behaved and honorable, then you're onto a potentially good thing. If they're not, they're a millstone you'll never get rid of from your neck". If they did this, you'll never get away from them or get her away from them.
Oh dear, this chap is far too young to be in a dilemma like this. But he has received the correct advice- run. She sounds like the proverbial grey girl, and in Cambodia there's not fifty shades of grey, only one. And it rhymes with run.
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