The next life, together
First, considering that at times the mentality on this board has leaned towards the 'rent a gf, marriage is for naive suckers' mindset, it is a nice change to have a post extolling a long term monogamous relation. Yes, long term relations are fraught with more difficulties than fleeting ones, but they're also so much more rewarding and satisfying in my view, and this post is a good example of why.
Second, I think your wife stance 18 years ago was actually an healthy one to have. I'm probably not articulate enough to really explain how I feel about it, but I don't see it as hopelessness and resignation. I see it more as a sober outlook, and there is joy and contentment if not outright delirious happiness in not expecting fulfillment to come right here, right now or even in five or ten years. This attitude, in my own opinion, is actually more likely to bring about solace than the constant and sometimes futile search for subjective happiness as dictated by normative terms.
Second, I think your wife stance 18 years ago was actually an healthy one to have. I'm probably not articulate enough to really explain how I feel about it, but I don't see it as hopelessness and resignation. I see it more as a sober outlook, and there is joy and contentment if not outright delirious happiness in not expecting fulfillment to come right here, right now or even in five or ten years. This attitude, in my own opinion, is actually more likely to bring about solace than the constant and sometimes futile search for subjective happiness as dictated by normative terms.
A tree born crooked will never grow straight.
Although her words and beliefs indicate that their relationship is harmonious and that her love is genuine, what she is hoping for is dangerous because she is fettered by her lust for a material rebirth and a lust for a material existence. More so, she is fettered by the illusion of her self and she is hindered because she seeks happiness through the five senses.Don-Pierre de Plume wrote:It's a real shame that many interesting and well-meant threads get derailed quickly into personal insults and abuse.
On topic, many people appear to be living on the "next life" dynamic but giving shit to others in this life.
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LTO, that was really touching. Thanks for sharing that tiny window into your personal life. Love your blog and the stories you've shared, here and there.
Very true that, except for the bit about the mentality of the board leaning towards the rental route. Sure there are one or two posters who say this, but the vast majority of longterm and established posters are in committed relationships and have been for years. Don't let the noisy minority drown out the silent majority.Hemingway wrote:First, considering that at times the mentality on this board has leaned towards the 'rent a gf, marriage is for naive suckers' mindset, it is a nice change to have a post extolling a long term monogamous relation. Yes, long term relations are fraught with more difficulties than fleeting ones, but they're also so much more rewarding and satisfying in my view, and this post is a good example of why.
Great post from LTO, btw.
I think it's a big deal for Khmer people to talk genuinely about their feelings. And LTO's wife expressed it in the most candid, genuine, meaningful way.
I'm jaded and I don't believe in this type of romantic, exclusive, unconditional love for myself. I do accept though that others can feel such love for another and I think it's beautiful that LTO and his wife share such love.
I'm jaded and I don't believe in this type of romantic, exclusive, unconditional love for myself. I do accept though that others can feel such love for another and I think it's beautiful that LTO and his wife share such love.
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My girlfriend has never talked about spending ''The next life'' with me...infact she mostly refers to me as ''stoopid man'', and often tells me she was surprised about how much i farted when she moved in with me. She said i was so dashing when we first met...
It's enough to drive a man to drink.
It's enough to drive a man to drink.
"I don't care what the people are thinking, i ain't drunk i'm just drinking"
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I didn't really see the story as being about belief in the afterlife.TheRaven wrote:Never believed in any kind of after life. All seems kinda airy fairy to me.
If it makes you happy. Each to his own.
It has been said that the advantage of being pessimist is that you will never be disappointed and sometimes may even be pleasantly surprised.Hemingway wrote:...Second, I think your wife stance 18 years ago was actually an healthy one to have. I'm probably not articulate enough to really explain how I feel about it, but I don't see it as hopelessness and resignation. I see it more as a sober outlook, and there is joy and contentment if not outright delirious happiness in not expecting fulfillment to come right here, right now or even in five or ten years. This attitude, in my own opinion, is actually more likely to bring about solace than the constant and sometimes futile search for subjective happiness as dictated by normative terms.
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I've had that thought myself. I thought the recent death of John Nash and his wife was particularly intiguing in this regard. 86 years old, an amazing life, him and his wife killed almost instantly, by suprise and together - neither suffering the pain of loss. A beautiful death for a beautiful mind. Baucis and Philemon. Granted, he may have had more to do and give before he left this world, but if it were me, would I trade those possible last few years to be spared the pain of grief and loss? Yes, perhaps.ali baba wrote:My wife wants to die first so that she doesn't have to grieve.
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I think I can relate to this. It turns out that before I married my wife she had a bit if a death wish. One way it manifested itself is in an anecdote about the friend she was living with was trying to break up with a gangster boyfriend and he pulled a gun on her in an alleyway. My (now) wife who was there threw herself in front of the gun and hurled a gobful of abuse at him, causing him to flee. She insists that wasn't so much bravery as a lack of concern whether she lived or died.
Now she says she would never do that for any friend, and unlike before is now careful about wearing a crash helmet and avoiding any risky situations. She insists that because of our relationship (8 years of marriage now) she really wants to live in order to take care of me. I think that's much the same sentiment, isn't it?
Now she says she would never do that for any friend, and unlike before is now careful about wearing a crash helmet and avoiding any risky situations. She insists that because of our relationship (8 years of marriage now) she really wants to live in order to take care of me. I think that's much the same sentiment, isn't it?
I came, I argued, I'm out
You might like reading Bernard Werber's "Les Thanatonautes" (if it's been translated in English).Gin&Tonic wrote:My belief is that we never die. We may have been born (Not here) but we will not die. Our life on earth is merely one chapter of a book and it's not the first chapter. On the other plane we retain all our memories but whilst here we only remember what happens here.DetroitMuscle wrote:Dude, LTO, sounds like you best wait for her after you die.Gin&Tonic wrote:On my understanding of this existence that is certainly a possibility what your wife requests but not a probability. Once we leave here, we'll remember all our memories, not just what we learned this life. Then we may choose to enter again, wiped clean to take the journey again. Or remain on the other side where we may already have a family and life.LTO wrote:
18 years and two kids later, last night, after a good evening, my wife, who is not given to expressions of strong emotion or romantic speech, said out of nowhere, “I love you. We can’t lose each other, after, after we die. If you go first, please wait. I will find you, and be first, and we will be together. If I go before, I will wait, and still find you, and be your wife and we will do this all again.”
Whether we are here for education, punishment, entertainment or whatever will never be known whilst here but once back on the other side all will be known.
My "religion" is very unconventional but it makes sense to me, has a scientific basis and causes little to no conflict with other world religions. If you want further insights, by pm only.
I read it once, in my teen years, but I'll always remember the first chapter (a recently dead person is being judged by an angel to be reincarnated. It was both humorous and an innovative idea at the time I read it), and scenes from the book (including the explanation for... "seventh heaven").
Damn. Now I need to get my hands on it.
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