Warning for M/F expats new Sorya Mall
Warning for M/F expats new Sorya Mall
I dunno why...but things seem to be happening to me this week. Mainly contrasting the differences between cultures of East and West. This one is concerning a serious design/planning flaw that would not be experienced in western society. All of what I write below is 100 percent accurate and truthful. If you fail to heed the warning, not believe me or simply forget....then you might have a serious dilemma or problem. This advance warning is for both male and female expats of Phnom Penh.
Sorya Mall. The new renovations are coming along nicely, all floors have some shops open. The toilets on all three floors (turn right out of the lifts) are spotless and cleaned regularly. Far too regularly for my liking. I'm all for spotless and clean toilets in Phnom Penh...they are a rarity so it is a pleasant change. There seem to be three female cleaners of the toilets for each floor. Their cleaning station is right outside the males and females entrances. But, I'm so not used to female cleaners (all three of them) coming in and cleaning while you are taking a piss. One to mop the floors, one wiping the sink area and one scrubbing the urinal...two spots down. This has happened twice now. (Once again...if there are any non-believers...check it out yourselves...they either follow you in there or are in straight after you leave. There is a reason for this and I'll get to it in a second.) I'm not used to pissing in front of three women...especially when one is scrubbing a urinal near me. Of course I have to wash my hands...at least they stand back and let me do that. Of course there is no hand dryer or paper towels. One gets to use cheap toilet tissue, that with your wet hands breaks off in pieces as you try and pull it out of the metal cannister on the wall. Anyone ever tried to dry their hands with a couple of pieces of cheap toilet paper? While the staff are watching? I'm here to tell you...the tissue disintegrates and sticks to your hands in twenty or so places. More washing of hands is required, they keep staring knowing I won't be wasting their paper again and will be walking out with wet hands.
OK..I can live with that one...it's Cambodia...expect the unexpected. Today I just got lucky. Lucky that I hadn't eaten a dodgy curry last night, lucky I wasn't in a rush and lucky that I was reasonably observant. Sorry..but there is some toilet humour here but it is unavoidable. There are four signs in there. One is not too flush the toilet paper...'please drop in open waste basket' right next to the throne. Obviously, I have beaten the cleaners to the cubicle. The waste basket has the previous visitors discarded toilet paper staring right at me. None of it is pure white anymore. I can't go here....fuck that...so change cubicles. Clean toilet?...yes....clean waste basket?...excellent....bum gun?....no....oh well, not a problem....dry floor for when I drop my pants...tick...all good. Plenty of toilet paper?....Ah no! Nothing. Not a skerrick. Not even a toilet roll holder...let alone an empty one! So, the new and updated Sorya Mall has spotless toilets with no bum gun or toilet paper or toilet paper holder. (You don't believe me?....this is a friendly warning)
I got lucky. The cleaners all waltzed in as I was leaving the cubicle. I decided to wait and do the business when I got home. Imagine them watching me pull off toilet paper next to the sink and then head back to the cubicle. Hmm...look how much paper he took in there! That will fill up the waste basket for sure.
Walking home I had to chuckle. If I hadn't noticed there wasn't any toilet paper or bum gun and done the business...then that's when there is the dilemma. Up trousers, out of cubicle, pull off toilet paper near sink and head back to the cubicle. Could be messy. Plus, the cleaners are always hanging around too...they would know what's happened. I suppose one could always yell out and ask for toilet paper from one of them. It's likely they don't speak english...what's Khmer for 'throw some toilet paper under the door will you please?' Even if I did know that khmer phrase, what if she asks back "pounman?" Er...better send me in the whole roll...and sorry about the full waste paper basket...'it's last nights amok trey'.
Who designed these toilets? The mind boggles. Even the Walkabout or GSM had one or the other choice of paper or gun.
Sorya Mall. The new renovations are coming along nicely, all floors have some shops open. The toilets on all three floors (turn right out of the lifts) are spotless and cleaned regularly. Far too regularly for my liking. I'm all for spotless and clean toilets in Phnom Penh...they are a rarity so it is a pleasant change. There seem to be three female cleaners of the toilets for each floor. Their cleaning station is right outside the males and females entrances. But, I'm so not used to female cleaners (all three of them) coming in and cleaning while you are taking a piss. One to mop the floors, one wiping the sink area and one scrubbing the urinal...two spots down. This has happened twice now. (Once again...if there are any non-believers...check it out yourselves...they either follow you in there or are in straight after you leave. There is a reason for this and I'll get to it in a second.) I'm not used to pissing in front of three women...especially when one is scrubbing a urinal near me. Of course I have to wash my hands...at least they stand back and let me do that. Of course there is no hand dryer or paper towels. One gets to use cheap toilet tissue, that with your wet hands breaks off in pieces as you try and pull it out of the metal cannister on the wall. Anyone ever tried to dry their hands with a couple of pieces of cheap toilet paper? While the staff are watching? I'm here to tell you...the tissue disintegrates and sticks to your hands in twenty or so places. More washing of hands is required, they keep staring knowing I won't be wasting their paper again and will be walking out with wet hands.
OK..I can live with that one...it's Cambodia...expect the unexpected. Today I just got lucky. Lucky that I hadn't eaten a dodgy curry last night, lucky I wasn't in a rush and lucky that I was reasonably observant. Sorry..but there is some toilet humour here but it is unavoidable. There are four signs in there. One is not too flush the toilet paper...'please drop in open waste basket' right next to the throne. Obviously, I have beaten the cleaners to the cubicle. The waste basket has the previous visitors discarded toilet paper staring right at me. None of it is pure white anymore. I can't go here....fuck that...so change cubicles. Clean toilet?...yes....clean waste basket?...excellent....bum gun?....no....oh well, not a problem....dry floor for when I drop my pants...tick...all good. Plenty of toilet paper?....Ah no! Nothing. Not a skerrick. Not even a toilet roll holder...let alone an empty one! So, the new and updated Sorya Mall has spotless toilets with no bum gun or toilet paper or toilet paper holder. (You don't believe me?....this is a friendly warning)
I got lucky. The cleaners all waltzed in as I was leaving the cubicle. I decided to wait and do the business when I got home. Imagine them watching me pull off toilet paper next to the sink and then head back to the cubicle. Hmm...look how much paper he took in there! That will fill up the waste basket for sure.
Walking home I had to chuckle. If I hadn't noticed there wasn't any toilet paper or bum gun and done the business...then that's when there is the dilemma. Up trousers, out of cubicle, pull off toilet paper near sink and head back to the cubicle. Could be messy. Plus, the cleaners are always hanging around too...they would know what's happened. I suppose one could always yell out and ask for toilet paper from one of them. It's likely they don't speak english...what's Khmer for 'throw some toilet paper under the door will you please?' Even if I did know that khmer phrase, what if she asks back "pounman?" Er...better send me in the whole roll...and sorry about the full waste paper basket...'it's last nights amok trey'.
Who designed these toilets? The mind boggles. Even the Walkabout or GSM had one or the other choice of paper or gun.
Agreed Chris.
Possibly the least AMAZING thing about Cambodia is the malls and their paperless shitters. Nothing worse than bolting in to a toilet, depantsing yourself in a hurry, backing up to the porcelain, unleashing a torrent of brown that brings a huge smile and instant relief only to then reach for the dispenser and find ...no dispenser or.....a paperless dispenser.
Time to jetison boxers..............
Possibly the least AMAZING thing about Cambodia is the malls and their paperless shitters. Nothing worse than bolting in to a toilet, depantsing yourself in a hurry, backing up to the porcelain, unleashing a torrent of brown that brings a huge smile and instant relief only to then reach for the dispenser and find ...no dispenser or.....a paperless dispenser.
Time to jetison boxers..............
Rated R for Ricecakes
I always thought that is why they bothered to print 100 riel notes ** shrugs shoulders **ricecakes wrote:Agreed Chris.
Possibly the least AMAZING thing about Cambodia is the malls and their paperless shitters. Nothing worse than bolting in to a toilet, depantsing yourself in a hurry, backing up to the porcelain, unleashing a torrent of brown that brings a huge smile and instant relief only to then reach for the dispenser and find ...no dispenser or.....a paperless dispenser.
Time to jetison boxers..............
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Who the fuck uses toilet paper?
Yer lucky I was on ride the other day and I had to do what bears do. Had no choice was 20 k into a hundred k ride and nothing was presenting itself. Just about managed to pull down cycle pants and grab a water bottle at the same time. Amazed that there wasn't an6 splas back on shoes or pants.
Yer lucky I was on ride the other day and I had to do what bears do. Had no choice was 20 k into a hundred k ride and nothing was presenting itself. Just about managed to pull down cycle pants and grab a water bottle at the same time. Amazed that there wasn't an6 splas back on shoes or pants.
k440, something to do when you're pissed.
ricecakes wrote:Agreed Chris.
Possibly the least AMAZING thing about Cambodia is the malls and their paperless shitters. Nothing worse than bolting in to a toilet, depantsing yourself in a hurry, backing up to the porcelain, unleashing a torrent of brown that brings a huge smile and instant relief only to then reach for the dispenser and find ...no dispenser or.....a paperless dispenser.
Time to jetison boxers..............
Ha ha....an option that I'm sure has been used plenty of times...crack up...undies jettisoned succesfully. Didn't even think of hundred riel notes...jail time in thailand for defacing the king.
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Chris - you take shit way too seriously, man.
But, I have also been a bit peeved at the lack of bum guns in many of the new developments in PP.
But, I have also been a bit peeved at the lack of bum guns in many of the new developments in PP.
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I fail to share your outrage.
Strange there was no bum gun, but most Khmer folk don't use bog roll anyway and... the mall is catering for Khmer folk.
Anyhow I'm poo shy - there is nowhere like your own porcelain throne.
Only in absolute emergencies do I use one outside my home for a number 2 and in those cases I know that I'm likely to have an issue when I leave the house so I bring a handful of my own bog roll.
When I visit the boonies bog roll is one of the first things I pack into my bag.
Strange there was no bum gun, but most Khmer folk don't use bog roll anyway and... the mall is catering for Khmer folk.
Anyhow I'm poo shy - there is nowhere like your own porcelain throne.
Only in absolute emergencies do I use one outside my home for a number 2 and in those cases I know that I'm likely to have an issue when I leave the house so I bring a handful of my own bog roll.
When I visit the boonies bog roll is one of the first things I pack into my bag.
After reading the first few lines you subconsciously know there won't be a long wait before Ricecakes turns up and gets involved.
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Only thing worse than no bum gun is a bum gun with such high pressure that it threatens to lighten you of several layers of skin each time you use it.Jackal wrote:Chris - you take shit way too seriously, man.
But, I have also been a bit peeved at the lack of bum guns in many of the new developments in PP.
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Apparently the brand new luxurious Park Hyatt Hotel in Bangkok has no bum guns.Jackal wrote:Chris - you take shit way too seriously, man.
But, I have also been a bit peeved at the lack of bum guns in many of the new developments in PP.
I recall emailing the newly built Hotel Castle in Phnom Penh back in 2008 to inquire about its facilities, and the General Manager responded that "high class" establishments don't have bum guns:
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No, that situation is still manageable because you can:violet wrote: Only thing worse than no bum gun is a bum gun with such high pressure that it threatens to lighten you of several layers of skin each time you use it.
1. Adjust the valve
2. Don't hold down the trigger all the way
3. Apply a glancing stream of pressure instead of direct pressure
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And only an amateur wouldn't give it a quick squirt to pressure test before applying it to ones nether regions.gavinmac wrote:No, that situation is still manageable because you can:violet wrote: Only thing worse than no bum gun is a bum gun with such high pressure that it threatens to lighten you of several layers of skin each time you use it.
1. Adjust the valve
2. Don't hold down the trigger all the way
3. Apply a glancing stream of pressure instead of direct pressure
Sounds a worse nightmare than riding in a tuk tuk, and having a guy sit next to youChris K wrote: One gets to use cheap toilet tissue, that with your wet hands breaks off in pieces as you try and pull it out of the metal cannister on the wall. Anyone ever tried to dry their hands with a couple of pieces of cheap toilet paper? While the staff are watching?
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Guilty as charged, even after 20+ years of bum gun experience. On the upside, I've had bum guns that cleaned my derriere and my tonsils at the same time....ផោមក្លិនស្អុយ wrote:And only an amateur wouldn't give it a quick squirt to pressure test before applying it to ones nether regions.gavinmac wrote:No, that situation is still manageable because you can:violet wrote: Only thing worse than no bum gun is a bum gun with such high pressure that it threatens to lighten you of several layers of skin each time you use it.
1. Adjust the valve
2. Don't hold down the trigger all the way
3. Apply a glancing stream of pressure instead of direct pressure
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