This whole discussion reminds me of Chapman's five languages of love. There's gift giving and quality time, while the other three are touch, words of affirmation, and acts of service. Everyone shows their love in a different way; I think Violet would benefit from reading that (she seems the most judgmental in this current discussion).violet wrote:John you are focussing on one slice of my comment and applying it in a way that was not intended. My comments were not directed at you but were prompted by scoffer's and your comments.
They triggered in me previous discussions about freely giving access to money not being enough for me as a person when what i want is freely giving of a person a real connection...quality time together not talking to each other from different rooms and from behind objects that act as a form of protection.
I apologise if you felt i was stating your relationship is built on nothing other than finance
Budget Restraints with the other half ( Not Going to happen )
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Fair enough. I already said i was more expressing how things are for me than judging others but perhaps i am being blind to my judgment
Actually. Scrap that. I wasn't being judgmental. I was saying what i need for a happy relationship.
John spoke of his truth about women. I spoke of mine....you know, ....as a woman.
And people want to tell me that because I don't love shopping and dont circle a mall five times I don't nderstand most women. Perhaps you guys just don't know many women like me.
Being different doesn't make me less woman. I am just my type of woman
Actually. Scrap that. I wasn't being judgmental. I was saying what i need for a happy relationship.
John spoke of his truth about women. I spoke of mine....you know, ....as a woman.
And people want to tell me that because I don't love shopping and dont circle a mall five times I don't nderstand most women. Perhaps you guys just don't know many women like me.
Being different doesn't make me less woman. I am just my type of woman
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
- Plutarch
In spite of the very cheesy phrase, understanding how the five languages of love can affect one's relationship with others and understanding what they are can save/spare yourself silly, annoying conflicts with your loved ones.Miguelito wrote:This whole discussion reminds me of Chapman's five languages of love. There's gift giving and quality time, while the other three are touch, words of affirmation, and acts of service. Everyone shows their love in a different way; I think Violet would benefit from reading that (she seems the most judgmental in this current discussion).violet wrote:John you are focussing on one slice of my comment and applying it in a way that was not intended. My comments were not directed at you but were prompted by scoffer's and your comments.
They triggered in me previous discussions about freely giving access to money not being enough for me as a person when what i want is freely giving of a person a real connection...quality time together not talking to each other from different rooms and from behind objects that act as a form of protection.
I apologise if you felt i was stating your relationship is built on nothing other than finance
It's very useful too to sort out your friends and/or potential romantic interests if their love language is not compatible with yours.
Test here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Biggest difference is you'll never be someone's long term rental...violet wrote:Fair enough. I already said i was more expressing how things are for me than judging others but perhaps i am being blind to my judgment
Actually. Scrap that. I wasn't being judgmental. I was saying what i need for a happy relationship.
John spoke of his truth about women. I spoke of mine....you know, ....as a woman.
And people want to tell me that because I don't love shopping and dont circle a mall five times I don't nderstand most women. Perhaps you guys just don't know many women like me.
Being different doesn't make me less woman. I am just my type of woman
None but ourselves can free our mind.
No. Most women I know like shopping. Most (hetro-sexual) men I know don't. It's a situation that is easy to acknowledge and accommodate. I tell my wife to go off shopping in BKK and then read a book, go to the cinema or go up the river for all of 15 baht. We are both very content by the end of that day. And the majority of her purchases are usually for me (un-requested).violet wrote:^ what sexist drivel
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Same in my experience too. I've never been shopping with a woman that breaks that pattern, EVER!LaudJohn wrote:Nasty Canasta,
That diagram is spot on and what I normally encounter regards the womens one.
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all I can say is you guys have limited yourselves to particular types of women. I know I'm not alone as a female who isn't a big fan of spending hours in malls shopping. I'm not going to feel bad about it. It just means your lot and my lot don't work together. A good thing you lot have another lot that is a good fit for you, even though you love to moan about their costing you money. You love it... perhaps because it allows you to feel wanted/needed.
It has never been any secret that I'm not your ideal woman. It's not run me off the site in over 8 years. It isn't going to be the clincher now.
Carry on dudes.
It has never been any secret that I'm not your ideal woman. It's not run me off the site in over 8 years. It isn't going to be the clincher now.
Carry on dudes.
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
- Plutarch
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i'm looking at the quiz and all I can think for each question is .... 'more meaningful'? They are entirely different. It's like comparing apples and oranges. What's more meaningful? I hate this stuff, however, I will attempt to provide a concrete preference for one thing over another, despite the questions not really doing it for me.
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
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- Plutarch
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sorry... i'm ranting. I hate these questions. ... e.g. It's more meaningful to me when .... I sit next to someone I love. .... I am complimented by someone I love for no apparent reason.
tripe. What I might determine as 'meaningful' (whatever that means) would be different in different situations at different times. Neither of the above is particularly meaningful me right at this point in time. and it feels like pigeon-holing. choose one now and forever be stuck in that category.
I guess this is one reason I'm single.
Very much getting used to that fact.
plus there is the fact that 'someone I love' is pretty much the same as anyone in terms of whether any of these things are 'meaningful'. just saying.
I'm expected to choose between receiving praise, receiving a gift for no reason and hanging out with someone I love.... over and over. RANT>
AND it's all about what I GET being meaningful and not what is SHARED or GIVEN.
tripe. What I might determine as 'meaningful' (whatever that means) would be different in different situations at different times. Neither of the above is particularly meaningful me right at this point in time. and it feels like pigeon-holing. choose one now and forever be stuck in that category.
I guess this is one reason I'm single.
Very much getting used to that fact.
plus there is the fact that 'someone I love' is pretty much the same as anyone in terms of whether any of these things are 'meaningful'. just saying.
I'm expected to choose between receiving praise, receiving a gift for no reason and hanging out with someone I love.... over and over. RANT>
AND it's all about what I GET being meaningful and not what is SHARED or GIVEN.
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
- Plutarch
Yeah. That's the reason.violet wrote:I guess this is one reason I'm single.
"The final straw actually involved my mortal enemy vladimir, who you may or may not know is an insufferable, overposting asshat."
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but you are such a role model to me Edwardo. It hurts.... deeply. that you don't like me. oh my life is lost.
eye roll... not even worth the effort of googling a gif.
eye roll... not even worth the effort of googling a gif.
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
- Plutarch
Have gone out with for an extended period (ie 1 year +) /been engaged to/had children with/married women from Western Europe, Eastern Europe, Africa, Asia excluding Japan and Asia including Japan so I think that's quite a broad statement. All liked shopping. OK so you don't like shopping but don't say 'women don't like shopping and it's sexist to say they do'. Personally I get bored rigid watching sport on TV (rugby players and supporters are closet perverts IMO - who the fuck came up with the idea of 16 grown men hugging each other tightly in a scrum. As for binding with your head between 2 guys waists, while your hand is between their legs ........) but I know 'most' men get turned on watching other men beat the crap out of one another on TV (or even worse, hitting a little white ball into a little hole - WTF.....). It's not sexist to say so.violet wrote:all I can say is you guys have limited yourselves to particular types of women.
Carry on dudes.
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