Do you have a duty to your Khmer wife to go and live in Barangland together?

[spitthedog]

Bongs, a hypothetical question if i may.

Say, for example, one has a lovely Khmer wife who keeps telling you she's fed up with travelling Asia and living the leisurely life in Cambodia and wants to go and live and work in Europe or Umerica etc.

She wants to stand on her own two feet and be independent and she's bursting to work etc.

There must be many like this in Cambodia. You know, where the wife keeps nagging the husband sat in the bar that she wants to go and see Big Ben, and that she feels "heavy" that she's not working.

How often do you see a Cambodian wife sitting obediently next to the barang husband for hours in a bar?

So does the barang have a duty to take her back home to allow the good lady to grow if that's what she wants?

[scobienz]

Interesting question.

I think we all have a duty to do whatever it takes to make both yourself and your partner as happy and fulfilled as possible. If that means going back to the west where they will have more chances of progressing in life, then yeah. If, on the other hand, your spouse works in Cambodia, has family or a business and is just fine, then it's less clear cut.

I'm retiring soon. From the middle of next year Indulgence and I will be spending six months in the UK and six months in Asia. She's setting up a business in her own country with an idea that is based on her passion, and it's a gap in the market in her home town. She's putting the capital in herself, and I'll just pledge to support her while she gets it going, as I would anyway. She wants it that way.

Surely it's different strokes for different folks spit?

[horace]

No, I don't think so, but then I haven't been foolish enough to marry a Khmer bird or a Khmer bird hasn't been foolish enough to marry me.

[logos]

It also essentially depends whether you as a barang are not only willing but able to go back to barangland and make a living/have a life that'll be more enjoyable than what you are having in Asia.

The wife has developed a steady business here with a couple of reliable staff that she can supervise from afar and generates a few k's per month profit. She's also been a big help with a part of my business in Europe that she's gradually taken over from the former manager who got married and quit 2 years ago. That development was unexpected when we first got married, but she took to Europe as a fish to water, including working practices not so common in Cambodia like meeting deadlines, keeping accurate accounts and following up on customers. Her languages skills have grown immensely.

So we've been doing from the start what Scoobie intends to do, sharing our time between both places and commuting 3-4 times per year. It works quite well for us and keeps me relatively sane - and her happy with family and friends in both places.

[YaTingPom]

No.

1. After her Facebook posts bragging she’d get bored. (Because her friends rightly so would be jealous)
2. It’s fucking cold.
3. No family.
4. Very few compatriots.
5. It’s expensive (if you have $3000 PM in Cambodia you’re a queen. In Rugby or Essex you’re working class)
6. You’re an Immigrant.
7. Everyone is miserable.

So I’ll save my wife the bullshit and we will never live in my home country. Ever.
Our child is welcome to go there but I’ll be gone or mental.

I think a lot of Asian wives/girlfriends get there and after a while think “Fuck, no wonder he found me!”

[scobienz]

I think a lot of Asian wives/girlfriends get there and after a while think “Fuck, no wonder he found me!”

That's not been my experience. I know dozens of Asian partners who have come to the UK and absolutely love their life here, because it gives them opportunities they wouldnt get back home. Most like returning home for holidays, but prefer life in the west.

Indulgence has been to the UK about 10 times in three years for a total of about 5-6 months. Took to it like a fish to water, although she's not Khmer and her English is better than most natives. She particularly enjoys the seasons and cold doesnt bother here because sensibly she says "If it's cold inside, we put the central heating on. If it's cold outside I can wear jumpers and coats. It's not rocket science". Fuck, she even did one trip to run in the London Marathon.

[Barang_doa_slae]

No.

1. After her Facebook posts bragging she’d get bored. (Because her friends rightly so would be jealous)
2. It’s fucking cold.
3. No family.
4. Very few compatriots.
5. It’s expensive (if you have $3000 PM in Cambodia you’re a queen. In Rugby or Essex you’re working class)
6. You’re an Immigrant.
7. Everyone is miserable.

So I’ll save my wife the bullshit and we will never live in my home country. Ever.
Our child is welcome to go there but I’ll be gone or mental.

I think a lot of Asian wives/girlfriends get there and after a while think “Fuck, no wonder he found me!”

4. Very few compatriots

I have yet to find a French town bigger than a village with no Khmer settlers. AFAIK Same can be said about USA and AUS.

[Miguelito]

Indulgence has been to the UK about 10 times in three years for a total of about 5-6 months. Took to it like a fish to water.

So she averages under two months a year there, and now plans to be in Asia for 6 months out of the year for her new business?

No offense, and not to stifle the dialogue from a lot of people with more experience in this than I’ll ever get, but she’s not exactly the perfect example here. She’s averaging over 3 round trips a year, so she’s really just visiting you and the UK for a few weeks a time and has decided to pursue developing her life in Asia.

[scobienz]

She will be developing her life in both countries. She will be here for six months and in Asia for six months.

It wasn’t meant to be an example. I specifically said at the outset that it’s different strokes for different folks. The assumption should be from there there is no typical example and no typical way of doing it. I made the point that it’s about finding something that makes her and you happy. This is it.

[gavinmac]

She will be developing her life in both countries. She will be here for six months and in Asia for six months.

It wasn’t meant to be an example. I specifically said at the outset that it’s different strokes for different folks. The assumption should be from there there is no typical example and no typical way of doing it. I made the point that it’s about finding something that makes her and you happy. This is it.

Are you going to spend six months a year in her home country rubbing elbows with all those sleazy down and out American expats there?

[logos]

She will be developing her life in both countries. She will be here for six months and in Asia for six months.

It wasn’t meant to be an example. I specifically said at the outset that it’s different strokes for different folks. The assumption should be from there there is no typical example and no typical way of doing it. I made the point that it’s about finding something that makes her and you happy. This is it.

Are you going to spend six months a year in her home country rubbing elbows with all those sleazy down and out American expats there?

With luck he might meet your cousin too.

[scobienz]

She will be developing her life in both countries. She will be here for six months and in Asia for six months.

It wasn’t meant to be an example. I specifically said at the outset that it’s different strokes for different folks. The assumption should be from there there is no typical example and no typical way of doing it. I made the point that it’s about finding something that makes her and you happy. This is it.

Are you going to spend six months a year in her home country rubbing elbows with all those sleazy down and out American expats there?

Very few down and out expats in her home town GM. I also said we would spend six months a year in Asia, not necessarily in her country. There is more to her country than your limited sphere of P Burgos and Angeles

I hear this is a subject close to your heart though. What do you plan post nuptials?

[The Seawolf]

If all you do is drag your sorry ass to the same bar at 5pm every evening to sit with the boys smoking fags and sucking on a few cold ones whilst waffling on about (a) Trump (b) Brexit (c) Currency Rates (d) the inept locals (e) Greta Thunberg or (e) sport until 10pm then she might have a case.

If you live a functioning life (and that doesn't mean a functioning alcoholic life) here and actually do something productive or positive with your time she can either shape up or ship out.

imo

[Starving Pelican]

Ah, I see that, despite his own best efforts, Dallow is becoming the long term expat in Asia he always feared he'd become. The planned splitting of time between Asia and the West is noted, but I suspect we'll find that the balance shifts over to the former once he realises those cold northern winters wreak havoc on his rheumatoid arthritis. That said, Tuesday night bingo may pull him back for a week or two.