Squat Toilet and Smart phone

the chicken · Post by **the chicken** » Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:53 am

Ever since the epidemic I went to stay up on the Kulen mountain trying to master Zen meditation with a couple of Japanese Zen masters. There, I learned how to lit up fire with a few native twigs to boil water and grill some caught squirrels, along with some other cool zen shits.

Anyways, to the topic. While I was taking a dump there obviously weren't no bum gun or tissue around to clean myself up. The next best alternative was using the beautiful Kulen mountain native leaves. While wiping my phone slipped from my hand and dropped into the poo well in the process. The Zen masters said phone is a curse, and since it dropped into a shit hole it must be a shit phone, let it go they said. I told them before I heed their wisdom I want to consult with my Khmer440 brothers whether I should retrieve it or not.

v12 · Post by **v12** » Tue Nov 24, 2020 9:26 am

If it's a waterproof device, put it in a dishwasher.

Don't believe the superstitions.

Guest999 · Post by **Guest999** » Tue Nov 24, 2020 10:08 am

Meditate on it.

The young Prince left the castle and saw sickness, suffering, old age, and phone death. This was part of his process towards enlightenment.

Do good. Refrain from evil. Cultivate the mind. Also, Buddha say, don't phone surf on the squat!

Take care, stay safe, and good luck!

Post by **Alexandra** » Tue Nov 24, 2020 5:10 pm

Your Zen is weak if you can’t pull it out using the force.

Guru Meditation · Post by **Guru Meditation** » Tue Nov 24, 2020 6:03 pm

So instead of picking it up right away and then cleaning your hands. You left it in the poo to first come here and ask what to do next?
By now some of the Japanese zen monks you hold in high regards have probably shat on it, so use the device you posted here instead and move on in life.
I am sure somebody will know a fitting zen quote for your current situation. I would just call it loss of phone due to inaction.

Hanno · Post by **Hanno** » Tue Nov 24, 2020 6:06 pm

If I dropped my phone in the shitter, I wouldn't give a shit, move on, and buy the latest model.

logos · Post by **logos** » Tue Nov 24, 2020 6:35 pm

Write it off. Anyway it must have sunk down too deep to retrieve. It's now in its proper environment, weighted down by all the crap you wrote.

techietraveller84 · Post by **techietraveller84** » Wed Nov 25, 2020 12:38 am

That smart phone battery, mixed with human secretions, is going to cause quite the environmental mess. For the sake of the earth, I think the zen masters would request you properly dispose of it.

Moreover, those batteries are known to cause fires, and with all the methane wafting out of your latrine, we wouldn't want anything explosive to happen there.

https://www.theverge.com/2020/2/28/2115 ... ithium-ion

Zero master · Post by **Zero master** » Wed Nov 25, 2020 4:22 am

Zen philosophy say dont wank with phone porn whilst giving birth to another you.

kinard · Post by **kinard** » Wed Nov 25, 2020 4:44 am

Dial M for moron.

Stokely · Post by **Stokely** » Wed Nov 25, 2020 7:01 am

Interesting problem and not one I’ve had before. I’m more used to wiping the shit off my phone when I go through Customs.

the chicken · Post by **the chicken** » Tue Dec 01, 2020 9:50 am

I went to check out the dropped smart phone but it is full of shits. Fuck it, I aint gonna retrieve. The Zen masters said they will get a me 10 dollars Nokia. Fuck them, cant watch no porns on that shit.

Post by **Felgerkarb** » Tue Dec 01, 2020 9:52 am

I see you are well on your way towards enlightenment.

Petrol Head · Post by **Petrol Head** » Tue Dec 01, 2020 9:55 am

the chicken wrote: ↑
Tue Dec 01, 2020 9:50 am
I went to check out the dropped smart phone but it is full of shits. Fuck it, I aint gonna retrieve. The Zen masters said they will get a me 10 dollars Nokia. Fuck them, cant watch no porns on that shit.

Thank God [you] ain't have to smack a bitch today.