Lending to expats
- ផោមក្លិនស្អុយ
- Daylight, I need Daylight !?!
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I don't really know for sure who the nods and winks are implicating. I suspect I may know but don't particularly care.
Anyhow... lending money, I don't do it with friends. It's a sure fire way to ruin relationships. I have been asked to lend money several times in the past and refused but have 3 times made a gift of roughly about half of what was requested (because I felt the need was genuine) and made it clear that I wasn't expecting to be repaid. It was a gift and that was all I would give.
One of these relationships (Khmer) flourishes to this day and I get regular spontaneous gift of food from the family. I suspect if I hit difficulties then they would be there for me, another (khmer) has moved to pailin, I think, and I hardly ever see them. Another person (foreign) has drifted away but that, I don't think has anything to do with money.
I don't lend money to friends.
Anyhow... lending money, I don't do it with friends. It's a sure fire way to ruin relationships. I have been asked to lend money several times in the past and refused but have 3 times made a gift of roughly about half of what was requested (because I felt the need was genuine) and made it clear that I wasn't expecting to be repaid. It was a gift and that was all I would give.
One of these relationships (Khmer) flourishes to this day and I get regular spontaneous gift of food from the family. I suspect if I hit difficulties then they would be there for me, another (khmer) has moved to pailin, I think, and I hardly ever see them. Another person (foreign) has drifted away but that, I don't think has anything to do with money.
I don't lend money to friends.
- bipolar bear
- I have some social problems
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- violet
- Suspicious Little Mad Woman
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Perhaps the hints are only obvious if a person already knows who is being discussed -although I think others realised who it might be after two posts made.Harold wrote: ↑Wed Mar 03, 2021 8:21 pmI didn't see any hints but I agree with your sentiment. The Torah likens gossip to murder because the gossiper is effectively murdering their victim with words and turning the community against the victim. It is this kind of solidarity and refusal to gossip, even when it is true, that has sustained the Jewish nation for three thousand years.violet wrote: ↑Wed Mar 03, 2021 8:54 amWhile scobie’s information was anonymised it was ok but when people start posting hints about who the expat is I think it is out of order. Gossip offline but don’t add insult to injury by putting it on the internet. It can affect what is already limited work prospects.
Anyway. What’s done is done
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
- Plutarch
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- Feminist Watch List
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I think Violet hit the nail on the head - in reference to the second mentioned person..violet wrote: ↑Tue Mar 02, 2021 3:51 pmA person requiring 4-5 years of financial support in Cambodia is likely experiencing loss of pride, self confidence, self esteem, and depression. Understandably. So breaking off ties etc is likely more to do with that than anything.scobienz wrote: ↑Tue Mar 02, 2021 3:31 pmRecent exchanges on the freezer chop chop murder thread got me thinking about the follies of lending to expats. It seems a lot of ire towards the fella is that he owes many people thousands of bucks. I guess that’s understandable.
..........
I’m aware of another situation where a group of friends loaned and supported another expat for 4-5 years. Needless to say it has all ended in tears, with the borrower flouncing off and breaking off friendships which in some cases have existed for 15 years. No payback was requested, but the guy has pulled away, broken off all ties and declared to anyone who will listen that he “is sick of expat bullshit”.
Moral of the story. Don’t lend money to your mates in Cambodia. It will not end well.
The reality is that for the most part, the group never loaned the money, they gave to a friend in need as support, paid his bills etc. It was to a person who had done the same for others and if the tables were turned would have done the same and been part of the group to help another friend.
I myself have written off thousands over the years in Cambodia. Including to both parties mentioned here. I never lend money in Cambodia in the expectation that it will be repaid. However another friend - not a member here - that I helped extensively has started to pay me back - major bonus!!!
Also the first person mentioned here actually started to pay me back before legal bills got in the way and does communicate regularly and acknowledge the debt.
It really is not much to people like the author of the thread in the scheme of things. Why die with a huge bank balance when you can afford to help a friend in need?
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Note to self: Must be nice to morons.
- spitthedog
- Is the World Outside still there ?
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On the other side of the coin, a good "friend in need" would use your loan or gift to pay for a flight home, and work, or get some state handouts rather than burden the friendship.
Still loads of jobs around.
Still loads of jobs around.
"I don't care what the people are thinking, i ain't drunk i'm just drinking"
How did you get out of that? Nice you got the Rolex. Hate conmen, snitches and people who threaten to snitch/blackmailers.
- Lucky Lucan
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How do you feel about people who snitch on conmen/ blackmailers? I would never get the authorities involved if I could avoid it but where do you draw the line?Guest wrote: ↑Thu Mar 04, 2021 11:23 pmHow did you get out of that? Nice you got the Rolex. Hate conmen, snitches and people who threaten to snitch/blackmailers.
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
Laudjohn couldn't expect any loans to friends to be paid back since his friends seem to die off anyway. It came to be that my recent application for life insurance was denied as the first question was, "Have you ever met Laudjohn?"
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"Goodness me! Now STD free..."
Very good question. If I thought they were bad enough I would snitch to protect myself from harm if I thought there was a danger to the person. I've only gone to the police once when a gf (now ex) was attacking me. She then cut her own arm and said she would go to the police. She had done it before after attacking me so I snitched on her. Was kinda messed todo that but looking back I think I did the best thing. Was not Cambodia or Asia.Lucky Lucan wrote: ↑Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:23 amHow do you feel about people who snitch on conmen/ blackmailers? I would never get the authorities involved if I could avoid it but where do you draw the line?Guest wrote: ↑Thu Mar 04, 2021 11:23 pmHow did you get out of that? Nice you got the Rolex. Hate conmen, snitches and people who threaten to snitch/blackmailers.
Conmen and blackmailers are always bad. Snitching depends on what it is. If someone was selling drugs I would not snitch, if someone was abusing a child I would for example. Depends on the damage I see happening and fortunately, I haven't seen too much in my life to warrant snitching. Although there have been occasions I wish I had but was 20 years ago and had a very different mindset.
If was a conman or blackmailer I think snitching is OK.
- Miguelito
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Don’t worry, he’s not a conman, and the 440k amount was an accident but a funny coincidence of a number considering this site.Guest wrote: ↑Thu Mar 04, 2021 11:23 pmHow did you get out of that? Nice you got the Rolex. Hate conmen, snitches and people who threaten to snitch/blackmailers.
- Barang_doa_slae
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So you say,.. As in any good scam it all played fast and smooth with you willing to give your money.Miguelito wrote: ↑Fri Mar 05, 2021 7:50 amDon’t worry, he’s not a conman, and the 440k amount was an accident but a funny coincidence of a number considering this site.Guest wrote: ↑Thu Mar 04, 2021 11:23 pmHow did you get out of that? Nice you got the Rolex. Hate conmen, snitches and people who threaten to snitch/blackmailers.
What you still don’t know is by the time you realized the thai baht amount translated into such an uncanny number as we were cruising at high speeds into a foreign land you were so transfixed it allowed me to hypnotize you. Since then I have a few key words that I use to make you offer to pay for restaurant bills.
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- Miguelito
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The word must be “sake” based on some of the recent bills...Barang_doa_slae wrote: ↑Fri Mar 05, 2021 9:45 amSo you say,.. As in any good scam it all played fast and smooth with you willing to give your money.Miguelito wrote: ↑Fri Mar 05, 2021 7:50 amDon’t worry, he’s not a conman, and the 440k amount was an accident but a funny coincidence of a number considering this site.Guest wrote: ↑Thu Mar 04, 2021 11:23 pmHow did you get out of that? Nice you got the Rolex. Hate conmen, snitches and people who threaten to snitch/blackmailers.
What you still don’t know is by the time you realized the thai baht amount translated into such an uncanny number as we were cruising at high speeds into a foreign land you were so transfixed it allowed me to hypnotize you. Since then I have a few key words that I use to make you offer to pay for restaurant bills.
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