He's certainly part of the spectrumStarving Pelican wrote:It's times like this in which gavinmac's Aspergers really shines.
PP:G4S country manager Mal Gill,63, found dead
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I'm not downplaying anyone's grief, I'm questioning the level of surprise. Three of the first five posters to respond either used the word shocking or said "Damn, only 63."Joon wrote:I believe the shock and surprise of several posters on this thread is not so much about the age at which the man died, but the fact that they knew him at a personal level.
So downplaying the expression of their grief is insensitive at best, dickish at worst. Since it's Gavinmac, I'd opt for a bit of both.
There's a double standard on these death threads. When a 60 year old unknown expat is found dead in his apartment of a "heart attack," many posters will comment about how common and typical a scenario this is. Yet they are then surprised whenever a known expat dies in the same way at the same age.
Well, I wouldn't write "He was really old for an expat" in his funeral guestbook or anything. That would be weird.Gin&Tonic wrote:He's certainly part of the spectrumStarving Pelican wrote:It's times like this in which gavinmac's Aspergers really shines.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
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But is it really? He makes a valid point, albeit with the tact a 7-year-old. Either way, I love how people are all appaled and offended when it's one of their friends, but the jokes and puns flow freely when it's a Khmer or unknown (to them) barang. Injury and death are a never-ending source of double-standards here. I personally didn't know the guy either, but I certainly recognize his face.Joon wrote:I believe the shock and surprise of several posters on this thread is not so much about the age at which the man died, but the fact that they knew him at a personal level.
So downplaying the expression of their grief is insensitive at best, dickish at worst. Since it's Gavinmac, I'd opt for a bit of both.
EDIT: I see Gavin has already voiced a similar take on it.
My dad was close to 90 when he died, and he was a diabetic and a shitload of ailments due to old age. His death was still a shocker to many people, not because he left too early, but just because he left.LexusSchmexus wrote:But is it really? He makes a valid point, albeit with the tact a 7-year-old. Either way, I love how people are all appaled and offended when it's one of their friends, but the jokes and puns flow freely when it's a Khmer or unknown (to them) barang. Injury and death are a never-ending source of double-standards here. I personally didn't know the guy either, but I certainly recognize his face.Joon wrote:I believe the shock and surprise of several posters on this thread is not so much about the age at which the man died, but the fact that they knew him at a personal level.
So downplaying the expression of their grief is insensitive at best, dickish at worst. Since it's Gavinmac, I'd opt for a bit of both.
EDIT: I see Gavin has already voiced a similar take on it.
Gavinmac said the posters expressed shock and mentioned "only 63." Before Gavinmac made his remarks, only one did, the other only expressed shock because they knew him. And yes, 63 is relatively young.
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Actually i dont read this as "its a shock a 63 year old guy died" and more of "another mate has died and thats a few too many this year".gavinmac wrote:I'm sure it's very sad news to his friends, but I don't know why it's shocking. Long term expats have short life expectancies.Petrol Head wrote:Argh no way!
Shocking year for well known Barang long termers.
RIP
If you wouldn't be shocked by an 85 year old dropping dead back home, you shouldn't be shocked by the death of a 60 year old expat.
Looking back only one person says its a shock for him to die, so I think you're rather jumping to preconceived ideas about how we're all dealing and feeling about this.
My posts are just jokes, maybe they're rude, offensive, and politically incorrect. They're not my opinion, viewpoint, idea, or judgement, but they're just fucking jokes so lighten up.
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I'd say 63 is a pretty good for a barang living and working here. It is a challenging environment for sure.
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I agree that 63 is a young to die, and I have sympathy for his family and those who knew him. My beef is with double-standards in death threads. It's all jokes and high fives when someone dies, but I can't help but notice that when one of the “old guard” dies, it's a big moment of grief and anyone who doesn't comply with the obligatory “RIP, good bloke” gets shunned. If the person isn't known to a small circle of posters however, it's a free-for-all. I've witnessed it many times and once with someone I knew. I personally don't mind the jokes that much as I like dark humour as much as the next guy, but the double-standards are pretty glaring. Just pointing it out is all.Joon wrote:My dad was close to 90 when he died, and he was a diabetic and a shitload of ailments due to old age. His death was still a shocker to many people, not because he left too early, but just because he left.
Gavinmac said the posters expressed shock and mentioned "only 63." Before Gavinmac made his remarks, only one did, the other only expressed shock because they knew him. And yes, 63 is relatively young.
Not that it matters much, but for what it's worth, Gavin didn't really make a joke, but simply pointed out that expats here tend to die young (which I think we can agree is true). Again, everyone thinks the yearly dead foreigner stats are hilarious and keeping averages is cool, but when Gavin is Gavin and points something out… Anyways, that's all I have to say on that. Not sure where I saw him over the years, but I know I've seen his face many times.
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"Everyone"? While I have always been bothered by the grave shitting on strangers that can go on here, I don't see anything unusual in people feeling greater grief and more respect over the death of family and friends than strangers, nor do I see it as justification to knowingly show up at amongst grieving friends and family to pick at their expressions of grief and respect and make crass, unnecessary comments. It's one thing to be an insensitive ass when bantering about the news on internet, but quite another when among those immediately affected. When with family and friends of the recently deceased, decent people offer sympathies or just keep their trap shut. Even in those stranger graveshitting threads here, when some family member makes it known that family and friends are looking, that has usually been the cue for all but the assholiest posters to back down.
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Of course it's expected, we all chipped to pay for it.Gin&Tonic wrote:Don't worry GavinMac, we'll still be shocked when you get decapitated by Isis while on one of your trips to an African shithole even though it's expected.
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Ok fine, I'll admit that my use of “everyone” was an exaggeration and the wrong quantifier. Let me rephrase with “many people”, or better yet, “some people”. Still, I think that's intentionally missing the point.LTO wrote:"Everyone"? While I have always been bothered by the grave shitting on strangers that can go on here, I don't see anything unusual in people feeling greater grief and more respect over the death of family and friends than strangers, nor do I see it as justification to knowingly show up at amongst grieving friends and family to pick at their expressions of grief and respect and make crass, unnecessary comments. It's one thing to be an insensitive ass when bantering about the news on internet, but quite another when among those immediately affected. When with family and friends of the recently deceased, decent people offer sympathies or just keep their trap shut. Even in those stranger graveshitting threads here, when some family member makes it known that family and friends are looking, that has usually been the cue for all but the assholiest posters to back down.
We all know there's a very good chance the deceased’s friends here as well as family members abroad will be either stumbling on the relevant thread or intentionally searching for it. As such, I still find it a bit hypocritical for people to say it's fine to make jokes when they're not in the same room, so to speak (meaning that no one is around to comment, or more likely, they simply avoid commenting). The internet is a very public place and most people know way more people who read the site than actually post on it, so it's safe to say there are plenty of lurkers (friends of deceased amongst them) who view the comments but never bother commenting for a variety of reasons. The same applies for family members in grief who have just learned of their loved one's death. If someone posts “Hey, I knew this guy, cut it out”, then we draw a line, but if the the deceased’s sister or friends, in their grief, never bother to create an account to reply to Austin Powers-ish jokes and puns, then it's ok? Had Gavin made this observation in the 2015 thread of dead tourists, or after some random Sihanoukville guy no registered poster knew died, would it have been ok? Yes, Gavin was being a bit of an insensitive prick, but I still see double-standards. But anyways, I honestly don't want to get dragged into this more as I've already expressed myself over this in the past, and I'd rather not clutter this thread further with more of my ramblings. Apologies for side-tracking.
I would be much happier if playboy dropped dead tomorrow rather than me.
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