NopeOosik wrote:Was it the kid on the right, 2nd row, looking into his drink?
Longfellows - the latest bar craze
Nirvana,
thanks for the reply. You're quite an observant young lady - my posts are often stagey. More often than not though, my tongue is firmly in my cheek, so it's best not to read too much between the lines.
I do appreciate the time you took to give your perspectives and research some background material, but the day is long gone where I want to wade through documents and theories on sociology and family law. There is a vast difference between keeping up to date with these subjects because of a general interest and having to wade through them because they may affect your relationship with your children. I fell into the latter category some years ago. It was very useful for me at that time to refer to SPIG to help convince my ex that a JC arrangement was more appropriate than absolute custody, even although in practice the day to day situation was identical in each case.
There will forever be variations with time, changing governments, between countries, even between judges on how Courts deal with the issue of custody. I don't claim to understand them all and to be frank, having lived through several years where I was up to my neck intellectually and emotionally with it, I will have very little interest in the lastest version until and unless it applies in my life.
My sympathies, however, lie more with fathers than mothers for one very simple reason. The most precious thing that anyone can have in their life is their children. Freedom to earn, socialise, travel etc are no substitute for tucking your kids up at night, sitting eating with them, hearing their stories on a daily basis, seeing their smiles, hearing their laughter and watching them grow up. The vast majority of seperated fathers I know, all of whom have had no option in the split but to leave their home and children, complain bitterly that the small amount of access time they do have is regularly spoiled by lack of basic cooperative humanity on the part of their ex-wives. A single parent having the ultimate sanction over what, when, where and how children can do things is a sure recipe for self-centred abuse, given the anger that can be flying around between split parents.
The only research paper I'd like to read in this area would be entitled "Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned - Long and Short-Term Psychological Impacts on Children from Split Homes".
thanks for the reply. You're quite an observant young lady - my posts are often stagey. More often than not though, my tongue is firmly in my cheek, so it's best not to read too much between the lines.
I do appreciate the time you took to give your perspectives and research some background material, but the day is long gone where I want to wade through documents and theories on sociology and family law. There is a vast difference between keeping up to date with these subjects because of a general interest and having to wade through them because they may affect your relationship with your children. I fell into the latter category some years ago. It was very useful for me at that time to refer to SPIG to help convince my ex that a JC arrangement was more appropriate than absolute custody, even although in practice the day to day situation was identical in each case.
There will forever be variations with time, changing governments, between countries, even between judges on how Courts deal with the issue of custody. I don't claim to understand them all and to be frank, having lived through several years where I was up to my neck intellectually and emotionally with it, I will have very little interest in the lastest version until and unless it applies in my life.
My sympathies, however, lie more with fathers than mothers for one very simple reason. The most precious thing that anyone can have in their life is their children. Freedom to earn, socialise, travel etc are no substitute for tucking your kids up at night, sitting eating with them, hearing their stories on a daily basis, seeing their smiles, hearing their laughter and watching them grow up. The vast majority of seperated fathers I know, all of whom have had no option in the split but to leave their home and children, complain bitterly that the small amount of access time they do have is regularly spoiled by lack of basic cooperative humanity on the part of their ex-wives. A single parent having the ultimate sanction over what, when, where and how children can do things is a sure recipe for self-centred abuse, given the anger that can be flying around between split parents.
The only research paper I'd like to read in this area would be entitled "Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned - Long and Short-Term Psychological Impacts on Children from Split Homes".
Last edited by Rakit on Sat May 13, 2006 12:28 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Rakit's Ex and Her Brief
Mrs Rakit:(After examining the paperwork) "Well, this is good! This is really smart...only, well, it's not true...I mean does that present a problem?
Brief: "Mrs R, the only problem here is that after you provided years of faithful service and loving support of raising his children.....they are HIS??"
Mrs Rakit: "Ahhh??...Oh! Yeah..yeah! One for sure."
Brief: "After all that your husband wants to deny you a fair share of the marital assets based on One single act of indiscretion....??"
Mrs Rakit: "Seven!"
Brief: "Pardon me?"
Mrs Rakit: "Seven..single acts of indiscretion."
Brief: (Composing himself) "Seven acts of indiscretion only one of which he has any evidence of....and ALL of which he is responsible for!"
Mrs Rakit: "He is???"
Brief: "Mrs R....you're the victim here...the wife of a cold distant (photographic) workaholic...starved for affection...driven into the arms of another man..."
Mrs Rakit: "Seven!!"
Brief: (exasperated) "Yeahh, whatevver!"...You're not trying to deny him what is rightfully his, all you're insisting on is what is rightfully yours...
and maybe a 'pihhh' fraction more.
Mrs Rakit: "Thankyou.. I'm so glad I can have a lawyer I can trust"
(squeezes his tushy)
(Later thinks to herself) "Ha ha I hope that bastard rots in front of a single element electric fire in a tower block shoving 1 quid coins down the meter hole every hour ha ha staring at a time worn copy of Paul Raymond's 'Club International' a-hahahahah"
But unbeknownst to her......
Rakit: "Alright darlins...now I want you to imagine your fighting like wild cats over a tender lil piece o' me...yeah;;click..click..nice one...o.k now roll over...purrrfect ....o.k gals that's a take"
Mrs Rakit:(After examining the paperwork) "Well, this is good! This is really smart...only, well, it's not true...I mean does that present a problem?
Brief: "Mrs R, the only problem here is that after you provided years of faithful service and loving support of raising his children.....they are HIS??"
Mrs Rakit: "Ahhh??...Oh! Yeah..yeah! One for sure."
Brief: "After all that your husband wants to deny you a fair share of the marital assets based on One single act of indiscretion....??"
Mrs Rakit: "Seven!"
Brief: "Pardon me?"
Mrs Rakit: "Seven..single acts of indiscretion."
Brief: (Composing himself) "Seven acts of indiscretion only one of which he has any evidence of....and ALL of which he is responsible for!"
Mrs Rakit: "He is???"
Brief: "Mrs R....you're the victim here...the wife of a cold distant (photographic) workaholic...starved for affection...driven into the arms of another man..."
Mrs Rakit: "Seven!!"
Brief: (exasperated) "Yeahh, whatevver!"...You're not trying to deny him what is rightfully his, all you're insisting on is what is rightfully yours...
and maybe a 'pihhh' fraction more.
Mrs Rakit: "Thankyou.. I'm so glad I can have a lawyer I can trust"
(squeezes his tushy)
(Later thinks to herself) "Ha ha I hope that bastard rots in front of a single element electric fire in a tower block shoving 1 quid coins down the meter hole every hour ha ha staring at a time worn copy of Paul Raymond's 'Club International' a-hahahahah"
But unbeknownst to her......
Rakit: "Alright darlins...now I want you to imagine your fighting like wild cats over a tender lil piece o' me...yeah;;click..click..nice one...o.k now roll over...purrrfect ....o.k gals that's a take"
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- Playboy
- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
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andyinasia wrote:I can't be bothered reading this thread, but your photos are absolutely amazing rakit - why don't you get a website and display them for us to enjoy in their entirety?
I thought that http://www.missluana.com/index.html was your website?Rakit wrote:Hah... I already have one
Not many photos of Angkor Wat on there…
"We, the sons of John Company, have arrived"
Great link - thanks, any more ?Playboy wrote:andyinasia wrote:I can't be bothered reading this thread, but your photos are absolutely amazing rakit - why don't you get a website and display them for us to enjoy in their entirety?I thought that http://www.missluana.com/index.html was your website?Rakit wrote:Hah... I already have one
Not many photos of Angkor Wat on there…
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Hi this is new to me and im not quite sure how to use this site. i am looking for the case law this quote was taken from: “it showed [that] her hatred for the father took precedence over the children's need to hold a high image of their father." i have used this quote and i wish to research it's source, haven't had any luck online. Can you please help me? It will be greatly appreciated!!!Nirvana wrote: ↑Fri May 12, 2006 10:04 pmNo. I didn’t even say all the men who go see female strip shows are gay. The point was it is sad that this makes it all around the world. Of all things. I was acknowledging how lame and cliché the whole concept of Hooters was. I was being cynical and then deduced that the attendees would be as well. Given that I know people who’ve gone there and don’t fit that description (from what I‘ve heard, they actually have good hot wings), it isn’t something I’d hold outside of being facetious.I guess that means that all the women who go to see male strip shows are lesbians then?
Nothing. I’ll be middle aged one day (hopefully). I actually like playing football (not watching it though). But I do find it bemusing that when stuff like this is applied to women, especially in the west (and they‘re serious), it doesn’t get this sort of scrutiny. I mean you can go on and on and on about women here and nobody says a thing. But even jokingly say something about a man and its suddenly a thing.By the way, what is wrong with:
1. Middle age?
2. Football?
Ha! Hypocrite.Female chauvinism at its worst.
Boring, repetitive, delusional and pontifical crap.
In the west, the mothers still are the primary caregivers of children. Even when both work full time. I think it makes more sense the child stays with the person whom is their primary care-giver and it is good that judges agree. Even if, in some cases, it is the father. Because of this, in the United States most cases are settled outside of court with the mother having the child most of the time.Not really Playboy..... however it can't be denied that western law does favour the woman when it comes to things like child custody, for example.
On the contrary, in fact, in courts the focus is on the mother’s behavior and she is held to a higher standard. Have you ever heard of the Gender Bias Report? The California Judicial Council findings? Judges will often say a mother reporting verbal abuse/physical abuse of the father is more detrimental to the child than the actual abuse. Apparently, “it showed [that] her hatred for the father took precedence over the children's need to hold a high image of their father." Often she’ll be accused of being “hysterical” for such things… and that will be what “drove” him to incest (Caplin, Chesler). The judges will also see the person with the most as the better caregiver at times. Being that female-dominated jobs are paid less and many times a woman will work less - or not at all - because she provides primary care for the children, guess who wins then? After a divorce, a woman’s sexual activity is questioned: if she is seeing another man or has seen other men, then clearly the child isn’t in a stable environment and the mother is reckless (ie. “SLUT!”). But also, if she has no man at all then she is chastised for “not providing a stable, heterosexual relationship”. Men will often win points for even trying to get custody or contesting existing custody because they are seen as “really caring” about their children (mothers don’t get the same credit) … even when they may only be doing it because they don’t want to pay child support. Women have been denied custody because they have paying jobs (which means they don’t care enough of their child) and when they don’t (which means they don’t care enough about their child).
Findings from the October 1991 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Policy paper by Meyer and Garasky, "The number of custodial fathers has been dramatically increasing over time, so to hold to a belief that fathers only gain custody when the mother is unfit requires one to claim that mothers are becoming more and more unfit over time. Fathers are more likely to get physical custody when their income is high, when the mother's income is low, and when the youngest child is older. Father custody is more likely in more recent divorces."
I don’t know where that statistic came from (do you hang around Masculist and Men‘s Rights Activism sights by any chance?), but I’m not surprised that only 5% contest; probably because they’re smart enough to realize that the mother has been taking more care of the child and there shouldn’t be such a change. This is about what is best for the child, not so father has all the cake. Most men see that.I read a statistic that of seperating couples, only 5% of fathers contest custody and of those, 5% of them win.
Speaking of which, Woman Ordered To Allow Her Children To Visit Their Father In Jail. The Kicker: Dad Raped Mom, Which Is Why He Is In Jail http://www.southbendtribune.com/apps/pb ... CAT=News01
That’s sad, but it was your choice not to go through with it. Most women do and in fact after a divorce end up poorer than they were and the man richer. Statistically, that is what happens. I do know men often get a raw deal with this (and maybe you did, I don’t know both sides) … but you can find a woman who did for each one. Then you have the guys that take off on her and owe child support. Hell, my cousin Kelly was just diagnosed with breast cancer; her ex-husband like never shows up, except when he wants to, to see Taylor and Carson. If God forbid something happens to her or if he comes back wanting custody and all this money from my dead Uncle Steve’s fund, she’ll be seen as “unable or unwilling” to provide for the children even though the social ills and money problems faced by single mothers are often because of the dad’s absence that contributes. But suddenly he may want to be super dad and will look like he really cares.When I seperated from my ex, I was faced with a simple choice - contest custody and probably lose and be faced with a legal bill of £0000s thus disenabling me to support my children financially as I wanted to and always did, or give in without the court case and be able to support them. Her income was less than mine, but not insignificant, so she qualified for legal aid, thus empowering her use of a £125/hour lawyer who simply informed her of all her rights and none of her responsibilities (as they do), knowing full well that an angry person may be more concerned with lashing out than making sensible long-term decisions about their children's welfare. No discussion of a joint-parenting agreement would be entered into by her legal team, not even one with her as the main carer. She wanted, and got, complete control of every aspect of the children's lives.
They say joint-custody doesn’t help the child and even my father didn’t want my sister and I to be going back and forth all the time. What ended up happening when I was 8 was that my dad got me in the summer time and on the weekends (my ma always said we could see him whenever we want and he could come over whenever he wants, so he’d also visit on his way to Bible Study), though.
Wow. Glad my parents never gave up on me.The implications of this were not completely clear to me until one day I drove 100 miles to surprise the kids and take them out of school for a treat lunch at their favourite cafe in town. The school denied this as I was not a custodian.
So what's a man to do? Start another long term relationship with kids that will impact his relationship with the first ones?...sit in at weekends at the fire like a pussycat?... or downgrade the standard myth of the happy family and start looking for alternatives? (sigh)
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The guy who wrote that died about 14 years ago, shortly after writing that, so don't expect any quick reply.[email protected] wrote: ↑Tue Jul 28, 2020 4:26 am
Hi this is new to me and im not quite sure how to use this site. i am looking for the case law this quote was taken from: “it showed [that] her hatred for the father took precedence over the children's need to hold a high image of their father." i have used this quote and i wish to research it's source, haven't had any luck online. Can you please help me? It will be greatly appreciated!!!
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
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