The First Thing I'd Do if I Married a Cambodian Woman
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The First Thing I'd Do if I Married a Cambodian Woman
I'd teach her the Heimlich Maneuver.
What's the old saying, "He who eats alone, chokes"? One of the benefits of getting maried is that you have someone around to save you if you start choking. If I married a Western woman, I would trust that she knew what to do if I started choking. Every kid learns it in grammar school. It's on posters in all the school cafeterias.
I don't have the same faith in the Cambodian educational system. Do most Khmers know the Heimlich manuever? Imagine you start choking in front of your Cambodian wife, unable to breathe or speak, then you silently watch her try to save you by hitting you on the head with a wok or rubbing Tiger Balm on your throat as you slowly turn blue and pass out.
Yes, I would teach my wife this right away, probably sometime between the exchanging of wedding vows and the part of the ceremony where she jams cake down my throat.
CPR classes might not be a bad idea either. There's a history of heart disease in my family. My Cambodian wife will be my little giggling, brown skinned insurance policy.
What's the old saying, "He who eats alone, chokes"? One of the benefits of getting maried is that you have someone around to save you if you start choking. If I married a Western woman, I would trust that she knew what to do if I started choking. Every kid learns it in grammar school. It's on posters in all the school cafeterias.
I don't have the same faith in the Cambodian educational system. Do most Khmers know the Heimlich manuever? Imagine you start choking in front of your Cambodian wife, unable to breathe or speak, then you silently watch her try to save you by hitting you on the head with a wok or rubbing Tiger Balm on your throat as you slowly turn blue and pass out.
Yes, I would teach my wife this right away, probably sometime between the exchanging of wedding vows and the part of the ceremony where she jams cake down my throat.
CPR classes might not be a bad idea either. There's a history of heart disease in my family. My Cambodian wife will be my little giggling, brown skinned insurance policy.
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gavinmac wrote:I'd teach her the Heimlich Maneuver.
What's the old saying, "He who eats alone, chokes"? One of the benefits of getting maried is that you have someone around to save you if you start choking. If I married a Western woman, I would trust that she knew what to do if I started choking. Every kid learns it in grammar school. It's on posters in all the school cafeterias.
I don't have the same faith in the Cambodian educational system. Do most Khmers know the Heimlich manuever? Imagine you start choking in front of your Cambodian wife, unable to breathe or speak, then you silently watch her try to save you by hitting you on the head with a wok or rubbing Tiger Balm on your throat as you slowly turn blue and pass out.
Yes, I would teach my wife this right away, probably sometime between the exchanging of wedding vows and the part of the ceremony where she jams cake down my throat.
CPR classes might not be a bad idea either. There's a history of heart disease in my family. My Cambodian wife will be my little giggling, brown skinned insurance policy.
very practical!
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Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped & gagged.
One Texan turned to the other & said "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm gonna go over there and help her out."
He ran over to the young lady and asked her if she could swallow?
Gasping, she shook her head "no".
Then he asked if she could breathe?
Again no was the desperate answer.
With that he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her underwear and violently
licked her ass from one end to the other! The woman was so shocked that she coughed up the bit of burger that was stuck and began breathing normally again. The Texan sat back down with his friend and said:"Ya know,
it sure is amazin' how well that "Hind-Lick Maneuver" always works!"
One Texan turned to the other & said "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm gonna go over there and help her out."
He ran over to the young lady and asked her if she could swallow?
Gasping, she shook her head "no".
Then he asked if she could breathe?
Again no was the desperate answer.
With that he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her underwear and violently
licked her ass from one end to the other! The woman was so shocked that she coughed up the bit of burger that was stuck and began breathing normally again. The Texan sat back down with his friend and said:"Ya know,
it sure is amazin' how well that "Hind-Lick Maneuver" always works!"
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Well, before they start printing those cafetera "choke posters" around Phnom Penh, they ought to remove the "chair job" section.
Those flimsy plastic chairs that make up 90% of all sitting furniture in Cambodia can hardly hold a 250lb man. Now we're suggesting that the 250lb man bend over this chair and start working it? No . . . this ain't gonna work.
Those flimsy plastic chairs that make up 90% of all sitting furniture in Cambodia can hardly hold a 250lb man. Now we're suggesting that the 250lb man bend over this chair and start working it? No . . . this ain't gonna work.
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Good point. And giveing the Heimlich to yourself never works, because you are going to naturally tense your stomach muscles before thursting yourself onto the top of the chair. It's like trying to knock the wind out of yourself by punching yourself in the stomach. Never works.wasabi wrote: Those flimsy plastic chairs that make up 90% of all sitting furniture in Cambodia can hardly hold a 250lb man. Now we're suggesting that the 250lb man bend over this chair and start working it? No . . . this ain't gonna work.
Gav,
If the heimlich is a high priority for you, you may have to search for that heavier set Khmer girl. You know, at least 48kg. . .
A sub 48kg girl probably has little chances of successfully wrapping her arms around your girth and unclogging your pipes. The best thing to do is to dine more often in shops frequented by NGO's. Those meaty/tender arms and hands of those fatties are probably the best tools for the heimlich. Combine that with those big breasts for leverage and you're as good as saved.
This could be a great idea for a new NGO.
If the heimlich is a high priority for you, you may have to search for that heavier set Khmer girl. You know, at least 48kg. . .
A sub 48kg girl probably has little chances of successfully wrapping her arms around your girth and unclogging your pipes. The best thing to do is to dine more often in shops frequented by NGO's. Those meaty/tender arms and hands of those fatties are probably the best tools for the heimlich. Combine that with those big breasts for leverage and you're as good as saved.
This could be a great idea for a new NGO.
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