How old is too old to have kids (with a Cambodian woman)?

[gavinmac]

Late last year Bill Parkin passed away (the older guy who used to wear a suit and hang out in Garage Bar). He was 70 and had very young children.

Today there is news of a 62 year-old American teacher named Steven Cramer dying; it appears that he also had young children.

Anthony Quinn had a child with his secretary when he was 78, then another child when he was 81. I don't think Anthony Quinn ever lived in Cambodia, I'm just a big fan.

So how old is too old for an expat male to have kids with a local woman? Keep in mind that expats have short life expectancies generally, so if you have a baby when you're 50, there's a pretty good chance you won't live to see the kid finish high school.

Also, many expats are not financially secure, nor are their Cambodian wives. I mean, if a Western guy marries a Western woman in his home country and then dies with young children, that's a tragedy, but the kids could still grow up with relatively normal lives, attend decent public schools, have Western medical care, have a mother who financially supports them, etc.

If you have a child in Cambodia in your later years, then you die, your child may end up being raised by impoverished Cambodian in laws and a mother with very limited earning capacity, right?

Even if you leave money for the wife, won't your in-laws try to get their hands on that money and use it for the benefit of the family as a whole, i.e. Camrys and motos and KTV outings? They're probably not going to keep all your money locked up in a college fund for junior.

Half-Cambodian children are just doomed if the Western dad dies, aren't they. I say you shouldn't father kids in Cambodia if you're over 35.

[DF]

I recently phoned my mum, who is almost 80, to say she was a grandmother again. I'm on number six and seven (twins). Not with the sane woman though.

I don't believe there is an age limit.

Need to secure their futures though. Make sure they are set up for the time you are not here. Secure their lifestyle. Secure their income. Make sure they are independant of the non existent system down here. Dual passports, health insurance, etc etc.

It can be done gavinmac. Not all doom and gloom you know.

Nice post though.

PS Should of mentioned that I am born in 1959.

[Gin&Tonic]

I think any age is ok anywhere provided there are plans if/when the parent(s) pass away. Even younger parents need a plan.

That said, probably 30-40 to start is a good age. The average person is more settled then.

At a guess I'd suggest half the fathers on this forum don't have a plan for when they die. Something they should work on.

Sent from my ONEPLUS A3010 using Tapatalk

[Lucky Lucan]

It's pretty depressing, but it's a good point. I was 38 when my one and only child was born. I wouldn't want to have another kid now, I'm too old and just don't have the energy. Having kids when you are too old does seem a bit irresponsible to me.

[kinard]

Anthony Quinn had a child with his secretary when he was 78, then another child when he was 81. I don't think Anthony Quinn ever lived in Cambodia, I'm just a big fan.

I'm a big fan too, he plays a great bad guy. Though my fave AQ movie would be Zorba the Greek.

\

[gavinmac]

I recently phoned my mum, who is almost 80, to say she was a grandmother again. I'm on number six and seven (twins). Not with the sane woman though.

I don't believe there is an age limit.

Need to secure their futures though. Make sure they are set up for the time you are not here. Secure their lifestyle. Secure their income. Make sure they are independant of the non existent system down here. Dual passports, health insurance, etc etc.

Seven kids with different women? Who are you, Shawn Kemp?

How would an expat "secure their lifestyle and income" for seven kids for the next 10-18 years?

[pedros]

One major advantage that kids with foreign papa's will have is the (almost) guarantee of a western passport- allowing them to do all sorts of stuff when reaching adulthood that a local could never, ever do. Even if that means fruit picking in Oz or wherever to earn money for the family back home.

It's quite a plus really, when considering the chances of a full blown rice farmer offspring.

[DF]

I recently phoned my mum, who in s almost 80, to say she was a grandmother again.

Seven kids with different women? Who are you, Shawn Kemp?

How would an expat "secure their lifestyle and income" for seven kids for the next 10-18 years?

Shawn Kemp was a bit of a stallion too. Seriously though, most of mine support themselves now. I have three here though with my Khmer wife, that will need supporting for many years.
The responsibilities are not much different from the west, except there we pay a fortune for further ed and uni. No point here though, as there are no real jobs anyway.

Make sure your wife has a house bought and paid for. Invest in a sustainable business where your wife is well rehersed in running it.
Invest in land. Quite a safe bet in a country with an exploding population growth.
invest in healthy living- minimum booze, no smokes, plenty of exercise etc

Good luck gavinmac.






Invest in

[Spigzy]

..I say you shouldn't father kids in Cambodia if you're over 35.

Sod off

(38?)

[Phuket2006]

Had my daughter at 44
i figure if u cant be around to see them graduate from High school ( why when i typed in H.S. did it turn to HE?) and hopefully college, u should not be fathering kids, so an average age for kicking the bucket is say 70
that means after 48-50 or so... not much worse for a kid than growing up without a dad ( i went thru that)

[Miguelito]

Another question could be: How many people here have vasectomies, and at what age did you get them? (And why the hell wouldn't you get one after a certain stage in life.)

[This Charming Man]

The responsibilities are not much different from the west, except there we pay a fortune for further ed and uni. No point here though, as there are no real jobs anyway.

Isn't that the point of GM's question? Having kids knowing they have no future seems selfish to me; unless there is a plan to get them the fuck out so they can have a meaningful future in the west, don't be a self-indulgent prick.

[Kampot Homesteader]

It's pretty depressing, but it's a good point. I was 38 when my one and only child was born. I wouldn't want to have another kid now, I'm too old and just don't have the energy. Having kids when you are too old does seem a bit irresponsible to me.

i was irresponsible up until i was 50. single and childless and reckless and selfish.
i am now more responsible than i have ever been and enjoying life more than i ever have.

will i be dead once my son hits 20? maybe. but having grown up never knowing my father... we enjoy each moment together we can.
none of us lives forever and sharing my time now with my family is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

and yes.... my wife is on the young side but i always tell people this when asked.. " i was much younger when we met".

[DF]

The responsibilities are not much different from the west, except there we pay a fortune for further ed and uni. No point here though, as there are no real jobs anyway.

Isn't that the point of GM's question? Having kids knowing they have no future seems selfish to me; unless there is a plan to get them the fuck out so they can have a meaningful future in the west, don't be a self-indulgent prick.

They don't need to go to uni and have a job to have a future. Work out an alternative solution and set them up yourself.

Most of the under 40's in europe are living a shit existance anyway.