Wife Khmer. Visa British. Travel VN. (Single life versus married life)
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Wife Khmer. Visa British. Travel VN. (Single life versus married life)
Enjoy this read split into 5 x ten - fifteen minute reads.
How I met my Cambodian wife. How was life before and after meeting her. Living in Vietnam and then moving to the UK. Visa issues. Some travelling stories.
Part one
I believe that for those with a spouse/partner who is foreign born that anxiety and uncertainty are our friends at all times, not just during this pandemic. We have the benefit of knowledge of our home countries and our partner's home countries. Perhaps we are asking ourselves do we settle here or there. Right now it is better to be here, but maybe in a few years time we'd like to stay there - or visa versa. These feelings are constant for me. Anyway part one of this submission is a collection of stories reminiscing about some of the more bizarre girls I met in my life and it is related to neighboring countries of Thailand.
Some background on me. I lived in Vietnam for 5 years. I met a Cambodian girl. I moved her to the U.K. We are now married in the U.K. and have a few kids. I don't want to make this look like I am writing a CV, but I guess everyone has different writing styles and I would not consider myself a man of words.
Having first traveled to Asia in 2008 I backpacked from Beijing to Bangkok. The land of frowns to the land of smiles - with many other facial expressions in between.
First relationship story. Having lived a life similar to a Buddhist monk for the entirety of my seven months traveling in China it wasn't until the last few days that I got my leg over with a local. I was traveling from Hong Kong to Hanoi by train and was told this would take about 48hrs.
It was at Shenzhen train station that I was puzzling over how to buy a ticket to Nanjing when a student who spoke English came to my rescue. She even introduced me to a pretty young lady who was catching the same train as me. When I disembarked from the train the following morning she was waiting for me on the platform. She spoke no English. I spoke no Chinese other than a few phrases practiced.
The girl actioned for me to follow her. We sat down in an empty waiting area and through signaling, drawings in my notepad and body language we had a conversation. I surmised that she worked at a call centre. She was in her early twenties I guessed and she was visiting her parents in Nanjing - her home town. She refused my offer to buy her breakfast, although she accepted a Coke.
I had a few hours between trains and accepted her invitation to her house. I thought a meal with her parents was on the cards, but she led me by the hand to her bedroom where she turned on the CD player and we sat on the bed and made out.
I can't be the only one who hides their real cash whilst traveling. I kept nominal currency in my front pocket and a hidden pocket in the inside leg of my cargo pants hid the rest of the cash along with my passport, cards and a solitary condom which after this dalliance became plural. I read that even such hidden pockets were not safe as some thieves would know by the hang and slash at the area with a knife to gain the contents.
This girl's house was in the city centre and I returned in time for the train. Of course I wouldn't have known beforehand how close it was to the train station and if I'd be back in time for the train, but that's where being spontaneous can get you lucky.
I know what you're thinking - this guy travelled for seven months in China and this is the best story he has? No, it isn't the best. It is perhaps the most bizarre though as she initiated sex, uncommon to say the least in their culture. One night stands with girls who don't 'work' for payment is uncommon in Asia, is it not? I may have flirted and laid ground work , but seldom is it reciprocal especially in cultures much different than my own.
The next relationship was a week later in Hanoi, Vietnam. I had a month visa for traveling in Vietnam and because I met a nice American woman in a Hanoi one week in and liked to stay in her company for another ten days that left me little over a week to see and enjoy the rest of Vietnam. Two days in Ninh Binh, two in Hue, three in Hoi An and two in Saigon resulted in one other dalliance. Another girl who didn't speak a word of English.
I was sat at the bar looking towards the entrance. From the moment she walked through the door and made eye contact I knew we'd be horizontal that night. She sat at the bar beside me. I offered her a drink and it was whilst we were waiting for her bottle of water that she pulled out a medical note in French. I understood it to be a negative test for STD's. Of course I wanted to know why so I tactfully elicited the following information. She'd just broken up with her Vietnamese boyfriend who'd cheated on her. She was sad and wanted to find a new boyfriend. Bizarre that her opening line was 'I'm clear'!
She wore the traditional costume Ao Dai. She invited me to a hotel. I thought that it'd be local to the bar, but it wasn't. The taxi fare to the hotel cost more than the hotel itself. When the moonlight coming in through the small window hit her naked frame I could see was very slim and with long hair, down to her knees - as to quote the Beatles. I saw her again the following afternoon and it appeared she was in fact interested in a long term relationship. I made my excuses as Cambodia beckoned.
Whilst in Cambodia I arranged by Yahoo chat to meet with the American girl in Bangkok. She was a teacher and had a few days off work for Christmas. I spent only hours in Phnom Penh and made my way to Siem Reap by bus. It was whilst parading the temples of Angkor at dawn that I had a premonition. I was admiring the bas reliefs on the walls of the temple when I had a feeling that a Cambodian beauty not unlike the one in the carving would be mine. I believed this to mean as wife rather than as a one night stand.
What can I say about when I arrived in Bangkok for the first time? I remember the smell of what I believed was delicious food being prepared. I often ate the street food and never had a bad meal in Thailand. I remember getting off the bus near Khao San and easily finding the hotel my friend had pre booked. I met her on Soi Rambutri and ate papaya salad for the first time. Som tom Laos style is still a favourite of mine today. We went to Mcdonalds and Starbucks a lot at her request - which is one reason we went our separate ways after this trip. After she returned to Vietnam I forfilled my only pre trip quest - to have Christmas dinner on the beach. This was done on Ko Phan Ngan the next day.
I flew back home after a month or so in Thailand. It was whilst back home and reminiscing that I thought of teaching English and where to do it. I believed the place to do it was Saigon. It was two whole years before I returned to Asia though and I bought with me my new founded experience of teaching gym. I believed that I could teach rich Asians and expats gym and fitness along side or instead of teaching English. As it was, the later worked out very well and I stayed in Saigon for five years. I met my future Cambodian wife after 3 years.
Part two
As I mentioned in part one of this submission, I lived in Vietnam for 5 years and met a Cambodian girl. I moved her to the U.K. We are now married in the U.K. and have a few kids. Also I spoke of a few unconventional girls that I met. I'd like to continue in that elk and also explain life afterwards with my Asian wife with some of the conventional and perhaps boring bits dropped.
Bangkok is the capital of craziness and some of that craziness is fucking scary when you think about it afterwards. I once got padded down in a dark street by a corrupt cop who had a bag which he wanted to plant on my person. Thank Buddha that I managed to shout over a couple of witnesses at the right moment.
Craziness in my honest opinion can happen anywhere and everywhere. Once in Riga after clubbing I went back with a girl to her apartment. Her friend bought a guy home too. At 8am we were rudely awoken by the boyfriend knocking at the door. The girls wanted to hide us boys in the airing cupboard before they answered the door. Fuck that I said. What if we were discovered? Thankfully for me it was the other girl's massive Russian boyfriend at the door and my girl was single.
Like a lot of guys I'm a sucker for a beautiful girl and often this scary craziness can follow the girl or like the Thai policeman it could just be a case of wrong place wrong time. Well I was only passing through Bangkok on this occasion and as I mentioned in part one of this submission I had a plan to teach gym and fitness and/or English in Saigon.
Within a few weeks of living in Vietnam I had a large circle of friends, expats and locals. I was out every night and so I met very many beautiful girls. One who I remember fondly I managed to entice by dancing beside her/with her in GO2 club for 6 hours. Some girls come easy and some you really have to have the energy and resilience to woo. She was Taiwanese and a partner in her families cycle business. This girl was hot with style and confidence. The attraction to one another and the mind blowing sex was great, however neither of us could stay faithful to one another and we ended up just being friends. Often we'd meet up at Bobby's Brewers just for a coffee, lunch and chat. Which brings me to make a valid point about dating. How many dalliances come after lunch dates and how many come after a late dinner with alcohol?
In my opinion a certain amount of good fortune at the beginning of a relationship helps and after that it's all about keeping a strong connection, keeping faithful and keeping it fresh. Experience helps a lot too. When I met my future wife it was Christmas Eve and everyone I met was in a good mood. I'd been bar-hopping for a few hours and was returning to my hotel in Phnom Penh when a tipsy local girl sat outside nearby stopped me. "Hey, where are you going?" She said as I opened the hotel front door. "To bed." I answered. "Really?"
I was in Cambodia on a short break and visa run and had a ticket to return to Vietnam in a few hours time. I surmised that the girl who stopped me was a friend of the bar owners since I was in there earlier in the evening and she wasn't there then. Also why would she stop me if the staff hadn't been gossiping about me first. She didn't give off a 'staff' vibe either.
Even though she had a chicken foot in her hand she invited me to go and eat something different elsewhere. Of course I paid as is the custom in many parts in SE Asia. We asked the usual getting to know each other questions over dinner with the usual subtle flirtation on my part - and she reciprocated that.
She was unemployed at the time having recently left the prestigious L'yon dor restaurant where she had worked as a waitress. I wasn't to know at the time but she'd end up being a shrewd investor and a risk taker of intelligent risks. I wouldn't call her a business woman or entrepreneur per se, but she made good decisions often when it came to making money and at the time we met she already had a little apartment in the city. Quite impressive for a young woman who started out with such humble beginnings. She was still humble too. She wasn't a profit driven corporate naughty girl. She just saw an opportunity at the right moment and took full advantage. She has an air of arrogance, but is above that very friendly and well respected. I chose wisely and the rest is history.
We grew to love each other very much. In the beginning this was clouded by lust. I returned to Vietnam and she'd visit me often. I'd take her to scenic spots and we'd eat seafood and snails and the sort before finishing the night nightclubbing, dancing, live music or a crowded local Bia Hoi. I'd visit her in PP often and before not too long I'd invited her to live with me in Saigon. I chose wisely and the rest is history.
You didn't think I was gonna finish the story off there did you? Fast forward 2 years and I was at a crossroads. We had three children between us.....and children get older. Which brings me to my original statement. With the knowledge of both worlds is it better to settle in SE Asia or the west. Education and health care were discussed almost on a daily basis and we decided to settle in the U.K. This would not be straight forward.
Spousal visa was the way to go. So I went back first with the eldest two kids. I'd be able to claim income support until I got a job and the emphasis was to get a job quickly as I'd have to earn a certain amount and be employed for a certain amount of time to qualify to sponsor my wife. The youngest was only one month old so my wife stayed in Cambodia besides her family.
If I'd known at the time what I now know.
The visa process didn't go well. So hard to anticipate what will happen. The application was refused based on several inaccuracies on the Home Office's part. My wife failed the English test in November 2016 was one such factual inaccuracy. Not funny, as she passed the test the only time she took it in April 2016. I appealed the decision and it took over a year to go to court. All in all we were apart for 3 years and 43 days. Mother from child, husband from wife, brother from sister etc.
All this time I had lived as a single parent bringing up the two eldest alone with some help from family. I rented a small terraced house, worked as a postman and took the kids to nursery. After work I picked up the kids and the real work began. I taught them to sleep in their own beds from the start. Prior to moving back the kids and adults all slept together SE Asia style. I introduced some western style upbringing and they responded well, over time, but it was damn hard on my own. Whilst they slept I was working on the visa and court cases.
My wife was distraught and depressed knowing I was struggling. She was hopeless and threw herself into her work in order to not wallow on the stress. She had at least ten family members free to help her, unlike my small family here who all had their day jobs and their own lives. She felt helpless too as she was a million miles away.
The female judge questioned me on Cambodian history and asked why couldn't we live there. I gave a good submission in court and pleaded Article 8 ECHR just to be on the safe side. She must have been a mother and wife since the right to a private family life was all she cared about in her decision notice.
My wife and youngest child arrived 24 months ago and we have grown into a tight nit unit. Lots of drama, together netherthless and I'm grateful.
To finish, whilst reviewing this submission I thought that I'd been a bit crass to mention pre marital conquests beside the glowing account of my wife. Does it look like I want to return to the single and free dating days? Well, those days are gone. I have more enjoyment spending time with my kids and wife then I'd ever have dating. Traveling I miss, however there is no reason besides Covid that we can do that again someday with the kids older. Someday we will all travel again....someday...
Someday that skinny Latvian guy in the airing cupboard in Riga will escape.
Part three
Different people approach dating and sex in different ways. I've never paid for a massage or sex. I've never gone with a girl who worked in the sex industry. I've never used online dating - well, there was this one girl.....
My second visit to Thailand was a short stopover in Bangkok on route to Saigon. I think I mentioned before that I bumped into a corrupt cop, well that was during this five day stopover. I landed at Suvarnabhumi Airport at 6AM and pulled up to Khao San Road an hour or so later. I didn't have a hotel booked and waited in an Internet cafe until noon. It was there that I checked out hotel deals and researched the latest information such as visas, curfews and news. I also logged into my Couchsurfing account to look at events happening during my stay. A Loikrathong evening was one of them. Whilst online I received a private message from a stranger - a Thai girl in her mid twenties who liked dancing. So I arranged to meet her for a late dinner after going to the Loikrathong event. That's a valentine festival I believe. I spent the afternoon visiting the Royal Palaces then mosied on down to the largest bar on Soi Rambutri where I met a dozen or so Couchsurfers and we made boats from banana leaves and played pool.
I'd never been out to Sukhumvit after dark, nevertheless I found my way to a department store in that area and I met the dancer at the bookstore on the top floor. "I will be reading a book on Salsa dancing" were my instructions from the earlier online chat. We went downstairs and down the road and sat at a roadside eatery. Afterwards we crossed the road and drank beer at a cheap roadside bar. Two tables, four stools and a box of beer was the limitation of that bar. A short stay there was followed by a short walk to a Salsa bar which was busy downstairs. It was essentially a regular western bar which had Salsa dancing nights. She knew most of the people there. She then took me upstairs to the empty dancing hall. We sat around the side and at this point we were getting tipsy and quite close. The clock stuck midnight and we looked to be going our separate ways. I leant in for a goodbye hug and the next thing I remember was her straddling me and we were kissing passionately. We couldn't get a taxi to my hotel quick enough.
So in the first day on my second visit to Bangkok I'd done a palace, a festival, met a corrupt cop, befriended a dancer and had a boner all before midnight. That goes to prove a point that if you pack your day with many activities that you'll reap the rewards that come with it.
Over the next four days she called in sick to work, canceled Salsa class and argued with her fretting mum because she wasn't returning home. Turns out she had a German boyfriend and whilst she was going off him she was going on me, almost non-stop until my flight saw us part.
During the next few weeks in Vietnam we had some incredibly saucy messenger chats on Yahoo. Whilst I was in a packed Internet cafe I'd swig from a cold beer and smile at the filth as it appeared on the screen. So, does that count as internet dating? Maybe it does as first contact was made online and we later met up. That was the only 'Internet date' that I recall. I used Couchsurfing sporadically afterwards and didn't reply to any more unsolicited messages.
One additional thing I will say about Couchsurfing for those who know little or nothing about it. You could search for someone's couch to sleep on if you were traveling somewhere and you could organize or join an event. I'd had a few CSers on my couch back home in the U.K. however regarding the social events page you could ask questions and then just turn up the on the day. Afterwards, if you hit it off with someone they would write glowing reviews of you on your profile page. I suppose it was the digital equivalent of sucking each other off and then both of you shouting your head off to the world about how good it was after. Perhaps that was too grotesque a comparison, still this is a website where most of the stories are about prostitution so I'll keep that one in.
Like I said at the beginning - Different people approach dating and sex in different ways. For me there were these events where you might make some friends and sometimes find a wave to ride, but usually I'd travel, sight-see and eat out alone. Many a time I'd sit at a seafood roadside restaurant and a girl would get off her her bike, walk in and sit at the next table to me. Nearly always they'd start a conversation by commenting on what I was eating. Men would too. I met a gay Indonesian once like that and we chatted about our lives back home. He didn't make any suggestive comments or make a move on me which was a relief. Women were always polite, friendly and hardly ever flirtatious and I was mild in my behavior towards them too.
Other than restaurants I'd strike up conversations with women I was interested in dating at language centers I worked in (not the students), bars, department stores and on buses. I lived for five years in Saigon and often took trips to neighbouring countries for the purpose of a new Vietnamese visa. On a tourist bus in Cambodia I struck up a conversation with a 19 year old German girl. She was very open and whilst chatting with her for the entire journey, I started to fancy her. She had a shaved head, well recently shaved and was quite slim. Buddhism was a big part of her life and she had a calming presence - even when telling me about being sexually assaulted in the Philippines a month earlier. I was sympathetic and tactfully with my tone and manner. I asked if her parents knew about the horrible attack. She said no. We then talked at length about family, love, relationships and of course Buddhism.
Sometimes when you make a connection with someone it ends without exchanging contact details and they become just a distant memory. It's memories like this that inspire the way we live our lives.
Three years into my stay in Saigon and my behavior changed from that of someone who was looking for love to that of someone who was strengthening the love I had for someone. That someone is my wife of seven years. Has anyone seen the film Seven Year Itch? The missus and I met seven years ago, however we've only been married five. Five years, seven years, whatever. It doesn't matter to me because I have considered her my wife from day one. We had one kid and we were married when she was pregnant with our second and it's when baby number two made his appearance that I will tell you of maternity whiskey and how much I enjoyed it drinking it.
Wearing a $5 polyester shirt, designer jeans and nice shoes I strutted down 130 Street from the clinic to the girly bar - a journey many foreigner men have made in reverse! The diagnosis was boredom after several hours sat beside my recovering wife and newborn baby. I would've felt guilty leaving them however my wife encouraged it and Mum had it all under control.
Mother and child have that bond from pre-natal to birth and forever after. So the peak is constant. With father however it's different. There are tears of emotion for father compared to mother's emotion and pain. Also the love is there from the start too, however I believe that the bond starts at zero and climbs to infinity gradually with father.
I chose a bar off the cuff and ordered my first Jameson. For the few drinks that I was there I chatted with the only person there - the cashier. Where were the bar girls? I guessed that they were supposed to start about 5PM but would turn up around six or maybe even seven. That was the case in the next bar along. "Just got up?" I asked the first one to arrive as she used the bar mirror to apply slap to her face.
The second day of my son's life was much the same as the first. Except this time I stayed in only one bar for the duration. The cashier was an admirer and I pretended that I was single. She didn't believe me. She had just got back from a stint working in Japan and I surmised that it was a miserable time for her. I like the challenge of turning that frown upside down so I used my charisma. I was there for several Jameson's and bought her a whiskey and gave her a nice tip when settling the bill. I enjoyed the conversation and bid her farewell. Whilst walking off I thought if I wasn't married perhaps something could happen. If you haven't seen it already I'd recommend watching that Marilyn Monroe film mentioned above with temptation the theme.
If you want to play with tipsy bar girls or just join the social scene then I suppose the time to go out is late and not 5PM like I had done. However I had my instructions from the missus. "Go out and relax, but don't stay out too late". I respected her wishes and returned before 8PM on both nights and even bought home dinner for those family members at the apartment.
The following morning I checked my wife and baby out of the hospital clinic and paid the bill. For the next few weeks the apartment was like a busy restaurant kitchen with many helping hands and visitors. At night there was a horde of female family members sleeping on the lounge floor with the balcony doors open for cool air. I felt a little odd retiring to the marital suite alone. With the air con whirring loudly all night I wouldn't be disturbed by crying baby or the early risers in the lounge.
It really did feel like a holiday. I was home always with the family and for a break I'd hit a few bars early evening once or twice a week. Other nights I'd stay home and drink my wife's whiskey. She had several 5 litre bottles lined up against the living room wall. There were three different types of whiskey all home made on the farm by her Mum or other family members in the provinces.
First a fruit based whiskey. The ten fruit whiskey tasted sweet from the natural sugar from the fruit and the honey. The consistency was clear all the way down apart from slightly sloppy where the fruit lay fermented in the bottom four inches of the jar.
Why would a new Mum want to drink so much whiskey you ask. Well, it's common in Cambodia. A fruit whiskey will give you a 'young body' to quote to my wife. Apparently the fruit and whiskey combine to help the damaged and stretched skin to tighten again and to become more supple. Then there is a ginger based whiskey. Ginger also helps the skin and body repair. Primarily it fights infection and protects against infection. The third whiskey has scorpions in it. This one is the most potent and is the one which has more medicinal purposes. I suppose a natural paracetamol and energy source.
For the two or three weeks after childbirth my wife would have a glass of one or two of the different whiskeys every day. And she'd sleep soundly because of the high alcohol content. The grandmother looked after baby at night and suffered the sleepless nights whilst the mother had long undisturbed sleeps. The whiskey aided her recovery and helped our evenings to become merry and lots of fun.
I'd like to add that the full on parental responsibility was not avoided for too long. At a point between three weeks and four weeks the bomb dropped so to speak. New parents need that. They've been having it easy, but watching and learning. Initially they struggle. However they have all the tools and know how to use them, they just lack experience.
I compare that time in Cambodia to the birth of my fourth child in the U.K. where my wife had no homemade whiskey and no help from her large extended family. Doing it 'cold turkey' will lots of pills though and of course me waiting on her hand and foot, however no home comforts. And my mum had the elder kids sleepover at hers a few nights, which of course was a great help. Less cold turkey and more luke warm turkey.
How much whiskey was there? I'd hazard a guess at 50 litres. One expensive ingredient included was honey. Real honey, not the common imitation honey which is a much cheaper alternative. Her extended family sourced the honey from bees nests themselves. About half of the whiskey was gifts from family and the other half made by mum on the farm. If you were to purchase all the ingredients yourself a 50 litre horde would set you back 2000 dollars. That is twice the price of a basic blended supermarket Scotch in the U.K., but probably about the same mark up as a decent single malt in the U.K.
Whiskey wasn't the only gift we had. $100 from this aunt, $20 from that aunt. $50 from that friend. $5 from another friend. Quite considerable gifts from Cambodians - a country with great poverty and only a few rich. There are of course the medium and they are those who were in poverty, but with luck and determination. My wife fits that category. Plus her parents are intelligent even if they didn't go to school. 1970's.
Not for the first time this year glowing accounts of my wife sit beside uncensored stories of past conquests. They'll be more in part four and part five.
Part four
I wonder how many of those who are addicted to Asian women would occasionally travel to snowy Central Europe for their kicks. Perhaps it's the lack of lady bars. Well, I found one in Praha. Hot Peppers Strip Club on Wenseles Square was good value for money. The entry fee was equivalent to five GBP and included a voucher for two free drinks. It was around midnight and I'd been drinking with a Pole and a German that I'd met earlier in the evening. We were all well oiled and after taking our seats beside the stage we could see the various topless girls were well oiled too. Those two guys paid for private dances and found that it was a waste of money. The variety of girls dancing on stage was pleasing. Not just Eastern European girls, but ones who looked to be from Asian and African heritage. Heritage is important and the next day I sampled the mulled wine and the traditional European Christmas market.
The following morning I had a 10am train to Vienna. I sat alone in my carriage and looked out of the window. I saw two girls run for the train. As luck would have it they both chose my carriage to sit in. I smiled as they sat down all flustered and red faced. They spoke in their native German at first, except they weren't German, or Swiss, or Austrian. That intrigued me. It turns out they were from a province in mountainous northern Italy quite close to the Austrian border which spoke German primarily. This was because for many generations that part of Italy was part of the Austro-Hungarian empire and only became modern day Italy after WWII.
They were both about 20. I was only 27 at the time. They had several backpacks and I surmised that they had been traveling for a long time. They had those Euro train cards and limited funds. Sleeping rough in public parks and washing in public toilets was their main tactic to save money. The travel cards were purchased before they left home and enabled perhaps a twelve month period of travel and a dozen or more countries to travel between. The conversation quickly turned to comedy or childish humour depending on your opinion. They named their backpacks Bitch, naughty girl and other amusing obscenities. We laughed and told stories. One girl offered me a cigarette and I refused, telling her I didn't smoke. They went to the toilet together to smoke. About an hour later they went again for cigarettes and returned in the same flirtatious state. Shortly afterwards the pretty blonde asked if I wanted to join her for a cigarette. I was about to remind her that I didn't smoke, but when I saw her wry smile I accepted.
I know what you're thinking. It was a ploy for the second girl to go through my bags whilst I was gone. I took the risk and was very glad I did. On the whole though it's quite difficult to get your leg over in Europe compared to in SE Asia and even more difficult in a 2 by 2 foot toilet. I had never been to Asia at that point, so fast forward 1 year and I found myself backpacking from China to Thailand. When I first arrived in Bangkok I'd been enjoying the company of an American girl and when she had to fly back for work I stayed on. The first night alone in Bangkok I went to a club on Khao San Road. I left with a girl called Ploy.
We both wanted to eat after dancing so we sat down to Pad Thai. A little Thai bird sat down opposite us and the two girls vied for my attention. I kissed Ploy goodbye and said hello to little Nok. I was drunk, exhausted and incapable as I remember but did manage to feed the bird back in her room. In the morning we went to Kanchanaburi for New Year. We travelled as a foursome. Three guys and one girl. Her mates were a Thai and a Swede. I rented a Hilux and drove them around town and to visit the sights outside of town. We stayed at the Thai guy's house in the sticks. We cooked sticky rice in bamboo and slept next to a fire. It's so good to do the local things when you travel.
When I left Thailand the following month we stayed in touch akin to boyfriend and girlfriend. Inevitably if you don't return quickly or show a promise of marriage then the relationship fizzles out. That was a completely different scenario to the time my wife and I spent apart. I mean we were already married for a start and had three kids between us. It felt like a jail sentence being away from my beloved wife and son for so long and of course her pain was more than mine because she missed the kids that I took back to the U.K. obviously as she has that mother child connection that fathers don't have due to carrying them whilst pregnant and birthing them.
We were married in Cambodia and the three kids were born in Asia. The two eldest had British passports. The third child was only one month old when I flew back to settle prior to doing the visa for my wife. Baby stayed with mum whilst I took his documents with me. I submitted the documents to the passport office in the U.K. His passport application took 17 months as opposed to just a few months with the older two kids. Firstly the passport office emailed me stating that we hasn't submitted original documents. I told them that we had and the application stalled over the disagreement. They returned only a couple of the original documents that I'd sent. So I congratulate them for losing his original birth certificate, family book and other documents. Maybe human error was the reason for this. I wrote to them telling them to conduct a search for the lost documents. My MP also wrote letters to the passport office on my behalf. At the end of the day nothing was found and several months were lost when what I should have in fact done was just gotten the documents reissued in Cambodia and reapplied straight away. I did bite the bullet eventually and did this at great cost to me not just financially but also the lost time. Put simply it delayed significantly the family being reunited.
On the second application Her Majesty's Passport Orifice rejected the countersignatory person. They asked for a new one by the 5 February. Coincidentally I had tickets to return for a family holiday in Cambodia and returning back to the U.K. on the 5 February. I told them that I would indeed get a new countersignatory and post it first class signed for if they could only extend the deadline a couple of days. I received a written response agreeing to the extension. At Heathrow Airport I posted the letter and it arrived the next day. On the same day that the paperwork was received at HMPO I received an email contradicting the extension email. This email stated that the application had been closed as I hadn't given them the information that they requested within the deadline. It took another two months before I had a written apology. They admitted their error and told me that they would waver the cost of the third application. Money wasn't the issue, time was. Alongside this application was the application for my wife's visa. More hoops to jump through and more mistakes from the government institutions.
How did I manage the three years separation. The short answer is I just did. It was a matter of just accepting that some things were out of our hands and we just had to work on the visa, jump through the hoops and survive.
The best way to cope was to immerse myself with my full time job - and the kids outside of working hours. I did the paperwork required. I did the research and I completed the tasks. Also when it went to court I represented myself. I didn't trust a lawyer to do it for me.
Mentally it was tough. I had occasional fits bought on by the prolonged stress.
Another thing that helped me through the separation was regular trips back to Cambodia. I went back every year. Flights for the three of us cost £800 (1 adult, one lap infant and one seat infant). We flew back three times in the first twelve months. The price of flights steadily increased as the kids got older.
You're probably asking about how I could support my family assuming that I was the sole money earner. Simply put I worked for the entire time, was frugal and saved. I also had some help. There is a government childcare scheme enabling those on a low income free childcare, well up to 30 hours free a week and 38 weeks of the year. I either paid full price for childcare out of school term time or utilized my days off and my mother or sister who worked part time. As a single parent I paid less tax too.
It's common knowledge that a starting wage for a postman is around £10 an hour. So with overtime I could earn enough to support the kids. My parents and friends often gave gifts of clothing, books and toys. I used charity shops/thrift shops for things like push chairs and car seats.
Even though my wife had equity I still felt obliged to send money to her and my youngest son. I sent between $100-$250 a month. Sometimes I sent more.
My last grandparent had a will. She left me 8k which was enough to buy a decent car. I brought a five year old Volvo - I still have it now.
Which reminds me. When thinking about life and death. There are those who save and build equity. There are those that spend each paycheck straight away. I am closer to the latter since I save only short term - enough for a holiday then I start again from scratch. Life is for living after all. That's my firm belief anyway.
So six times in three years I flew to Asia and the five of us were together again. Fun and happy we were, however the real dark days were the several months in between the reunions. The son in Cambodia was involved in a RTA and very nearly died. He needed brain surgery and thankfully has looked to have made a full recovery.
Dark times lead to dark places. I can thank these organizations for helping me become an alcoholic. Whiskey is my go to drink in case you hadn't surmised already.
One thing about head injuries if anyone has had one is that sometimes the true effects aren't seen until much later in life. I myself was starved of oxygen when born and nearly died. Nearly is the key word - tragedy was avoided on both occasions. We thank our lucky stars.
So, will you guys live life to its fullest? You can't take it with you. Perhaps you can Donate to some good cause like to the cost of running a sexist website?
There is the possibility of a serious operation needed and will insurance cover it? Maybe. In my son's case there was a charitable children's hospital in Phnom Penh which enabled free health care - unusual for SE Asia. We donated blood and a little money in return.
I believe I have the resolve and will power to pull in the reigns when it comes to drinking too much and abstaining from other vices. Although I haven't been affected by a messy divorce, bereavement, drug use, bankruptcy or homelessness yet so who knows how I'll roll after one or more of these. I thank those organizations that gave me hope and the strength to go on, like the NHS and King Bopha children's hospital.
Part five
Finally some stories of two girls I nicknamed Daddy and Thief.
Daddy. In 2010 internet cafes were still prominent in Saigon. I'd visit one every other day. Usually I'd see the same pretty Vietnamese girl chatting for hours with the cashier. I'd exchanged plesentaries with her a number of times and on one occasion off the cuff invited her for dinner. She was only a couple of years younger than me, slim and small with a crazy look in her eyes. She wore the smallest Jean shorts and an equally tiny top. I remember she had a decent rack and a tattoo on her neck. She'd worked in taiwan and had an ex and kids there apparently. After dinner we went to the park and sat down on a bench. She started getting touchy feely and kissed me whilst calling me daddy a few times. I took her back to mine and put her on repeat.
Thief. There was another girl who I saw wandering around often. She looked different from most of the others. She was taller and had some European features - possibly some French. She dressed differently too choosing to wear baggy trousers like the ones you occasionally see western backpackers wear especially twenty or thirty years ago. I tried and I liked. I was especially happy with her sucking techniques. We dated and fucked 5 times in two weeks I believe. It was after she had left on the morning after the sixth that I noticed that I was a few notes light. 200,000 - 400,000 vnd or roughly 10 - 20 dollars.
Whilst on topic I was in Nha Trang two years prior to this and I left thirty crisp 100,000 notes in the hotel safety deposit box before going to the beach. When I returned I could tell straight away that my wallet had been opened. There was one note missing . They'd been a change of reception staff so I couldn't blame him, but I gave him an earful and checked out the hotel straight away.
Back to the thief in Saigon with the baggy trousers. She was 26 I'd guess and had a look of craziness in her eyes which I knew when I first laid eyes on her would end up with us up parting unceremoniously. Upon the discovery I texted her a threatening message. "If I see you again I'll break your legs" The purpose was to scare her, humour myself and gain some revenge. I can honestly say that I wouldn't carry out the threat. No way. It was a game which could have backfired. It was stupid and could have been dangerous for me. I have courage, bravado and danger in equal amounts in my DNA.
Two nights later and I was sat at an outside corner bar and I saw her accross the street approaching a banh mi sandwich stand. She clocked me and attempted to hide behind a lamppost. Playfully peeping at me. After a few playful glances at me she walked over. With a beaming smile and her purse wide open she offered to buy me dinner. "Yeah, with my money!" I said. With little drama or fuss I took the open purse from her open hands and emptied it's contents and dropped the purse on the floor and walked off calmly. That shocked her I guess as she didn't start calling me back straight away. I ignored her calls from behind and continued walking at normal pace the short distance to my local. I sat down and ordered a drink. I had 150,000vnd in my hand so I'd recouped about 50% back. I took a large swig of the Saigon Red and placed it down on the table. My English buddy was beside me and just as I opened my mouth to start retelling the story she appeared. She put on an act of being upset and it was obviously an act. I pretended to be more upset than I was too. I stood up in front of her and spat on the ground and called her a thieving naughty girl. She asked for it back a few times and I told her no each time. She walked off and I sat back down. There was no way I was gonna put my hands on her or throw anything.
Two crazy girls. One had a perverse sexual nature and the other got gratification out of danger games. Perhaps I am a combination of the two! Anyway that's as crazy as it got in Saigon. I dated scores of other girls there, but they were all tame in comparison. I'd say a quarter of the girls had jobs in tourism - a receptionist here, a tour guide there. One tour guide I kissed in a club invited me to teach her sister and best friend English the following week. I was paid in bottles of spirits and a fabulous feast of food and fun. I got my tongue down her mates throat and her sister's too that evening. I pulled a number of hotties from clubs and bars who were there to dance and find a guy. Some were quite obviously from rich well educated families and some were your poor hairdressers and the like. A few girls came from recommendation - one girl who liked me and was a virgin, but was of no interest to me hooked me up with her hot banker friend. The rest came from bars, mostly a sports bar - bar staff mind and not hookers.
A waitress or a bar tender would mostly be in the job to find a foreign boyfriend and not a one night stand. So it was no surprise that when I dated these waitresses and the sort that they cheated on me. They met many guys during their shifts and some they would like. I wouldn't want to hazard a guess at how many of these guys they would exchange contact details with before submitting them to the ideal partner tests. Most of these foreigner hunters would string a few guys on hoping to separate the wheat from the chaff. It's fair to say that I was being polygamous too at that stage of my life. I'd like to think that like I did these girls whittled the guys down to actually manage to find a promising LTR and stayed faithful. At the end of the day its natural to look for a partner to settle down with and have kids.
Those of us who wish to play the field and go with as many girls as we can could easily have fallen into the monogamous flytrap and visa versa.
With my wife sometimes I think our relationship is not strong and I'd have an easier time with a western girl. It's at these times I think things will get better and most of all I've got to think about the kids. Then at other times I am so proud of her. She's a great lady. There's loads of sexual chemistry and silliness so obviously after 7 years we're still more than compatible. It could go tits up and I'm working to make sure as best as I can that it doesn't. I sometimes think that she's overly harsh with the kids misdenemours. Then I think maybe I am overly harsh with them too at times. If anything these thoughts are new and we aren't getting enough sleep due to having a 1 year old baby. Different cultures and silly games also play a part. They're always there so we have to adapt and take it on the chin - maybe make a joke or child's play out of it. Darwin said it best 'survival of the fittest'. We're stressed, tired and not thinking straight, but we cope - we survive.
For me in Vietnam there have been more conventional trysts than unconventional ones - many more. I'm sure that those tales of ten dates and getting nowhere and went to a movie with this girl, for a coffee with this girl would bore the tamest traveller. Ok, I'll tell one of the better ones.
She was adopted at birth by childless billionaires. When the dad got sick his companies went downhill. When he died she still inherited a fortune. She lent me the keys to her country house in picturesque Da Lat whilst she was away travelling Europe. Travelling/faucking Europe - same same. Her goal was to get pregnant and have a cute mixed race kid. She offered herself to me, but I passed on that seeing her more as a friend. She was short and apart from having the most flirtatious come to bed eyes I'd seen on a Vietnamese she wasn't a looker. Also she was a terrible cook. I was much more interested in some of her friends, but they weren't into me. Most aren't, but if you put yourself out enough you'll find a diamond who is.
My diamond wife does annoy me at times, but that is what they are meant to do western, SE Asian, whatever. Real people annoy each other sometimes with their views, comments or lack of tact. It's called being real - as opposed to fake. Some are very polite or keep their views to themselves. Believe me I do that sometimes too. Whatever you want to call it people annoy people. Friends have failings out, families too.
Now can you answer the questions
How I met my Cambodian wife. How was life before and after meeting her. Living in Vietnam and then moving to the UK. Visa issues. Some travelling stories.
Part one
I believe that for those with a spouse/partner who is foreign born that anxiety and uncertainty are our friends at all times, not just during this pandemic. We have the benefit of knowledge of our home countries and our partner's home countries. Perhaps we are asking ourselves do we settle here or there. Right now it is better to be here, but maybe in a few years time we'd like to stay there - or visa versa. These feelings are constant for me. Anyway part one of this submission is a collection of stories reminiscing about some of the more bizarre girls I met in my life and it is related to neighboring countries of Thailand.
Some background on me. I lived in Vietnam for 5 years. I met a Cambodian girl. I moved her to the U.K. We are now married in the U.K. and have a few kids. I don't want to make this look like I am writing a CV, but I guess everyone has different writing styles and I would not consider myself a man of words.
Having first traveled to Asia in 2008 I backpacked from Beijing to Bangkok. The land of frowns to the land of smiles - with many other facial expressions in between.
First relationship story. Having lived a life similar to a Buddhist monk for the entirety of my seven months traveling in China it wasn't until the last few days that I got my leg over with a local. I was traveling from Hong Kong to Hanoi by train and was told this would take about 48hrs.
It was at Shenzhen train station that I was puzzling over how to buy a ticket to Nanjing when a student who spoke English came to my rescue. She even introduced me to a pretty young lady who was catching the same train as me. When I disembarked from the train the following morning she was waiting for me on the platform. She spoke no English. I spoke no Chinese other than a few phrases practiced.
The girl actioned for me to follow her. We sat down in an empty waiting area and through signaling, drawings in my notepad and body language we had a conversation. I surmised that she worked at a call centre. She was in her early twenties I guessed and she was visiting her parents in Nanjing - her home town. She refused my offer to buy her breakfast, although she accepted a Coke.
I had a few hours between trains and accepted her invitation to her house. I thought a meal with her parents was on the cards, but she led me by the hand to her bedroom where she turned on the CD player and we sat on the bed and made out.
I can't be the only one who hides their real cash whilst traveling. I kept nominal currency in my front pocket and a hidden pocket in the inside leg of my cargo pants hid the rest of the cash along with my passport, cards and a solitary condom which after this dalliance became plural. I read that even such hidden pockets were not safe as some thieves would know by the hang and slash at the area with a knife to gain the contents.
This girl's house was in the city centre and I returned in time for the train. Of course I wouldn't have known beforehand how close it was to the train station and if I'd be back in time for the train, but that's where being spontaneous can get you lucky.
I know what you're thinking - this guy travelled for seven months in China and this is the best story he has? No, it isn't the best. It is perhaps the most bizarre though as she initiated sex, uncommon to say the least in their culture. One night stands with girls who don't 'work' for payment is uncommon in Asia, is it not? I may have flirted and laid ground work , but seldom is it reciprocal especially in cultures much different than my own.
The next relationship was a week later in Hanoi, Vietnam. I had a month visa for traveling in Vietnam and because I met a nice American woman in a Hanoi one week in and liked to stay in her company for another ten days that left me little over a week to see and enjoy the rest of Vietnam. Two days in Ninh Binh, two in Hue, three in Hoi An and two in Saigon resulted in one other dalliance. Another girl who didn't speak a word of English.
I was sat at the bar looking towards the entrance. From the moment she walked through the door and made eye contact I knew we'd be horizontal that night. She sat at the bar beside me. I offered her a drink and it was whilst we were waiting for her bottle of water that she pulled out a medical note in French. I understood it to be a negative test for STD's. Of course I wanted to know why so I tactfully elicited the following information. She'd just broken up with her Vietnamese boyfriend who'd cheated on her. She was sad and wanted to find a new boyfriend. Bizarre that her opening line was 'I'm clear'!
She wore the traditional costume Ao Dai. She invited me to a hotel. I thought that it'd be local to the bar, but it wasn't. The taxi fare to the hotel cost more than the hotel itself. When the moonlight coming in through the small window hit her naked frame I could see was very slim and with long hair, down to her knees - as to quote the Beatles. I saw her again the following afternoon and it appeared she was in fact interested in a long term relationship. I made my excuses as Cambodia beckoned.
Whilst in Cambodia I arranged by Yahoo chat to meet with the American girl in Bangkok. She was a teacher and had a few days off work for Christmas. I spent only hours in Phnom Penh and made my way to Siem Reap by bus. It was whilst parading the temples of Angkor at dawn that I had a premonition. I was admiring the bas reliefs on the walls of the temple when I had a feeling that a Cambodian beauty not unlike the one in the carving would be mine. I believed this to mean as wife rather than as a one night stand.
What can I say about when I arrived in Bangkok for the first time? I remember the smell of what I believed was delicious food being prepared. I often ate the street food and never had a bad meal in Thailand. I remember getting off the bus near Khao San and easily finding the hotel my friend had pre booked. I met her on Soi Rambutri and ate papaya salad for the first time. Som tom Laos style is still a favourite of mine today. We went to Mcdonalds and Starbucks a lot at her request - which is one reason we went our separate ways after this trip. After she returned to Vietnam I forfilled my only pre trip quest - to have Christmas dinner on the beach. This was done on Ko Phan Ngan the next day.
I flew back home after a month or so in Thailand. It was whilst back home and reminiscing that I thought of teaching English and where to do it. I believed the place to do it was Saigon. It was two whole years before I returned to Asia though and I bought with me my new founded experience of teaching gym. I believed that I could teach rich Asians and expats gym and fitness along side or instead of teaching English. As it was, the later worked out very well and I stayed in Saigon for five years. I met my future Cambodian wife after 3 years.
Part two
As I mentioned in part one of this submission, I lived in Vietnam for 5 years and met a Cambodian girl. I moved her to the U.K. We are now married in the U.K. and have a few kids. Also I spoke of a few unconventional girls that I met. I'd like to continue in that elk and also explain life afterwards with my Asian wife with some of the conventional and perhaps boring bits dropped.
Bangkok is the capital of craziness and some of that craziness is fucking scary when you think about it afterwards. I once got padded down in a dark street by a corrupt cop who had a bag which he wanted to plant on my person. Thank Buddha that I managed to shout over a couple of witnesses at the right moment.
Craziness in my honest opinion can happen anywhere and everywhere. Once in Riga after clubbing I went back with a girl to her apartment. Her friend bought a guy home too. At 8am we were rudely awoken by the boyfriend knocking at the door. The girls wanted to hide us boys in the airing cupboard before they answered the door. Fuck that I said. What if we were discovered? Thankfully for me it was the other girl's massive Russian boyfriend at the door and my girl was single.
Like a lot of guys I'm a sucker for a beautiful girl and often this scary craziness can follow the girl or like the Thai policeman it could just be a case of wrong place wrong time. Well I was only passing through Bangkok on this occasion and as I mentioned in part one of this submission I had a plan to teach gym and fitness and/or English in Saigon.
Within a few weeks of living in Vietnam I had a large circle of friends, expats and locals. I was out every night and so I met very many beautiful girls. One who I remember fondly I managed to entice by dancing beside her/with her in GO2 club for 6 hours. Some girls come easy and some you really have to have the energy and resilience to woo. She was Taiwanese and a partner in her families cycle business. This girl was hot with style and confidence. The attraction to one another and the mind blowing sex was great, however neither of us could stay faithful to one another and we ended up just being friends. Often we'd meet up at Bobby's Brewers just for a coffee, lunch and chat. Which brings me to make a valid point about dating. How many dalliances come after lunch dates and how many come after a late dinner with alcohol?
In my opinion a certain amount of good fortune at the beginning of a relationship helps and after that it's all about keeping a strong connection, keeping faithful and keeping it fresh. Experience helps a lot too. When I met my future wife it was Christmas Eve and everyone I met was in a good mood. I'd been bar-hopping for a few hours and was returning to my hotel in Phnom Penh when a tipsy local girl sat outside nearby stopped me. "Hey, where are you going?" She said as I opened the hotel front door. "To bed." I answered. "Really?"
I was in Cambodia on a short break and visa run and had a ticket to return to Vietnam in a few hours time. I surmised that the girl who stopped me was a friend of the bar owners since I was in there earlier in the evening and she wasn't there then. Also why would she stop me if the staff hadn't been gossiping about me first. She didn't give off a 'staff' vibe either.
Even though she had a chicken foot in her hand she invited me to go and eat something different elsewhere. Of course I paid as is the custom in many parts in SE Asia. We asked the usual getting to know each other questions over dinner with the usual subtle flirtation on my part - and she reciprocated that.
She was unemployed at the time having recently left the prestigious L'yon dor restaurant where she had worked as a waitress. I wasn't to know at the time but she'd end up being a shrewd investor and a risk taker of intelligent risks. I wouldn't call her a business woman or entrepreneur per se, but she made good decisions often when it came to making money and at the time we met she already had a little apartment in the city. Quite impressive for a young woman who started out with such humble beginnings. She was still humble too. She wasn't a profit driven corporate naughty girl. She just saw an opportunity at the right moment and took full advantage. She has an air of arrogance, but is above that very friendly and well respected. I chose wisely and the rest is history.
We grew to love each other very much. In the beginning this was clouded by lust. I returned to Vietnam and she'd visit me often. I'd take her to scenic spots and we'd eat seafood and snails and the sort before finishing the night nightclubbing, dancing, live music or a crowded local Bia Hoi. I'd visit her in PP often and before not too long I'd invited her to live with me in Saigon. I chose wisely and the rest is history.
You didn't think I was gonna finish the story off there did you? Fast forward 2 years and I was at a crossroads. We had three children between us.....and children get older. Which brings me to my original statement. With the knowledge of both worlds is it better to settle in SE Asia or the west. Education and health care were discussed almost on a daily basis and we decided to settle in the U.K. This would not be straight forward.
Spousal visa was the way to go. So I went back first with the eldest two kids. I'd be able to claim income support until I got a job and the emphasis was to get a job quickly as I'd have to earn a certain amount and be employed for a certain amount of time to qualify to sponsor my wife. The youngest was only one month old so my wife stayed in Cambodia besides her family.
If I'd known at the time what I now know.
The visa process didn't go well. So hard to anticipate what will happen. The application was refused based on several inaccuracies on the Home Office's part. My wife failed the English test in November 2016 was one such factual inaccuracy. Not funny, as she passed the test the only time she took it in April 2016. I appealed the decision and it took over a year to go to court. All in all we were apart for 3 years and 43 days. Mother from child, husband from wife, brother from sister etc.
All this time I had lived as a single parent bringing up the two eldest alone with some help from family. I rented a small terraced house, worked as a postman and took the kids to nursery. After work I picked up the kids and the real work began. I taught them to sleep in their own beds from the start. Prior to moving back the kids and adults all slept together SE Asia style. I introduced some western style upbringing and they responded well, over time, but it was damn hard on my own. Whilst they slept I was working on the visa and court cases.
My wife was distraught and depressed knowing I was struggling. She was hopeless and threw herself into her work in order to not wallow on the stress. She had at least ten family members free to help her, unlike my small family here who all had their day jobs and their own lives. She felt helpless too as she was a million miles away.
The female judge questioned me on Cambodian history and asked why couldn't we live there. I gave a good submission in court and pleaded Article 8 ECHR just to be on the safe side. She must have been a mother and wife since the right to a private family life was all she cared about in her decision notice.
My wife and youngest child arrived 24 months ago and we have grown into a tight nit unit. Lots of drama, together netherthless and I'm grateful.
To finish, whilst reviewing this submission I thought that I'd been a bit crass to mention pre marital conquests beside the glowing account of my wife. Does it look like I want to return to the single and free dating days? Well, those days are gone. I have more enjoyment spending time with my kids and wife then I'd ever have dating. Traveling I miss, however there is no reason besides Covid that we can do that again someday with the kids older. Someday we will all travel again....someday...
Someday that skinny Latvian guy in the airing cupboard in Riga will escape.
Part three
Different people approach dating and sex in different ways. I've never paid for a massage or sex. I've never gone with a girl who worked in the sex industry. I've never used online dating - well, there was this one girl.....
My second visit to Thailand was a short stopover in Bangkok on route to Saigon. I think I mentioned before that I bumped into a corrupt cop, well that was during this five day stopover. I landed at Suvarnabhumi Airport at 6AM and pulled up to Khao San Road an hour or so later. I didn't have a hotel booked and waited in an Internet cafe until noon. It was there that I checked out hotel deals and researched the latest information such as visas, curfews and news. I also logged into my Couchsurfing account to look at events happening during my stay. A Loikrathong evening was one of them. Whilst online I received a private message from a stranger - a Thai girl in her mid twenties who liked dancing. So I arranged to meet her for a late dinner after going to the Loikrathong event. That's a valentine festival I believe. I spent the afternoon visiting the Royal Palaces then mosied on down to the largest bar on Soi Rambutri where I met a dozen or so Couchsurfers and we made boats from banana leaves and played pool.
I'd never been out to Sukhumvit after dark, nevertheless I found my way to a department store in that area and I met the dancer at the bookstore on the top floor. "I will be reading a book on Salsa dancing" were my instructions from the earlier online chat. We went downstairs and down the road and sat at a roadside eatery. Afterwards we crossed the road and drank beer at a cheap roadside bar. Two tables, four stools and a box of beer was the limitation of that bar. A short stay there was followed by a short walk to a Salsa bar which was busy downstairs. It was essentially a regular western bar which had Salsa dancing nights. She knew most of the people there. She then took me upstairs to the empty dancing hall. We sat around the side and at this point we were getting tipsy and quite close. The clock stuck midnight and we looked to be going our separate ways. I leant in for a goodbye hug and the next thing I remember was her straddling me and we were kissing passionately. We couldn't get a taxi to my hotel quick enough.
So in the first day on my second visit to Bangkok I'd done a palace, a festival, met a corrupt cop, befriended a dancer and had a boner all before midnight. That goes to prove a point that if you pack your day with many activities that you'll reap the rewards that come with it.
Over the next four days she called in sick to work, canceled Salsa class and argued with her fretting mum because she wasn't returning home. Turns out she had a German boyfriend and whilst she was going off him she was going on me, almost non-stop until my flight saw us part.
During the next few weeks in Vietnam we had some incredibly saucy messenger chats on Yahoo. Whilst I was in a packed Internet cafe I'd swig from a cold beer and smile at the filth as it appeared on the screen. So, does that count as internet dating? Maybe it does as first contact was made online and we later met up. That was the only 'Internet date' that I recall. I used Couchsurfing sporadically afterwards and didn't reply to any more unsolicited messages.
One additional thing I will say about Couchsurfing for those who know little or nothing about it. You could search for someone's couch to sleep on if you were traveling somewhere and you could organize or join an event. I'd had a few CSers on my couch back home in the U.K. however regarding the social events page you could ask questions and then just turn up the on the day. Afterwards, if you hit it off with someone they would write glowing reviews of you on your profile page. I suppose it was the digital equivalent of sucking each other off and then both of you shouting your head off to the world about how good it was after. Perhaps that was too grotesque a comparison, still this is a website where most of the stories are about prostitution so I'll keep that one in.
Like I said at the beginning - Different people approach dating and sex in different ways. For me there were these events where you might make some friends and sometimes find a wave to ride, but usually I'd travel, sight-see and eat out alone. Many a time I'd sit at a seafood roadside restaurant and a girl would get off her her bike, walk in and sit at the next table to me. Nearly always they'd start a conversation by commenting on what I was eating. Men would too. I met a gay Indonesian once like that and we chatted about our lives back home. He didn't make any suggestive comments or make a move on me which was a relief. Women were always polite, friendly and hardly ever flirtatious and I was mild in my behavior towards them too.
Other than restaurants I'd strike up conversations with women I was interested in dating at language centers I worked in (not the students), bars, department stores and on buses. I lived for five years in Saigon and often took trips to neighbouring countries for the purpose of a new Vietnamese visa. On a tourist bus in Cambodia I struck up a conversation with a 19 year old German girl. She was very open and whilst chatting with her for the entire journey, I started to fancy her. She had a shaved head, well recently shaved and was quite slim. Buddhism was a big part of her life and she had a calming presence - even when telling me about being sexually assaulted in the Philippines a month earlier. I was sympathetic and tactfully with my tone and manner. I asked if her parents knew about the horrible attack. She said no. We then talked at length about family, love, relationships and of course Buddhism.
Sometimes when you make a connection with someone it ends without exchanging contact details and they become just a distant memory. It's memories like this that inspire the way we live our lives.
Three years into my stay in Saigon and my behavior changed from that of someone who was looking for love to that of someone who was strengthening the love I had for someone. That someone is my wife of seven years. Has anyone seen the film Seven Year Itch? The missus and I met seven years ago, however we've only been married five. Five years, seven years, whatever. It doesn't matter to me because I have considered her my wife from day one. We had one kid and we were married when she was pregnant with our second and it's when baby number two made his appearance that I will tell you of maternity whiskey and how much I enjoyed it drinking it.
Wearing a $5 polyester shirt, designer jeans and nice shoes I strutted down 130 Street from the clinic to the girly bar - a journey many foreigner men have made in reverse! The diagnosis was boredom after several hours sat beside my recovering wife and newborn baby. I would've felt guilty leaving them however my wife encouraged it and Mum had it all under control.
Mother and child have that bond from pre-natal to birth and forever after. So the peak is constant. With father however it's different. There are tears of emotion for father compared to mother's emotion and pain. Also the love is there from the start too, however I believe that the bond starts at zero and climbs to infinity gradually with father.
I chose a bar off the cuff and ordered my first Jameson. For the few drinks that I was there I chatted with the only person there - the cashier. Where were the bar girls? I guessed that they were supposed to start about 5PM but would turn up around six or maybe even seven. That was the case in the next bar along. "Just got up?" I asked the first one to arrive as she used the bar mirror to apply slap to her face.
The second day of my son's life was much the same as the first. Except this time I stayed in only one bar for the duration. The cashier was an admirer and I pretended that I was single. She didn't believe me. She had just got back from a stint working in Japan and I surmised that it was a miserable time for her. I like the challenge of turning that frown upside down so I used my charisma. I was there for several Jameson's and bought her a whiskey and gave her a nice tip when settling the bill. I enjoyed the conversation and bid her farewell. Whilst walking off I thought if I wasn't married perhaps something could happen. If you haven't seen it already I'd recommend watching that Marilyn Monroe film mentioned above with temptation the theme.
If you want to play with tipsy bar girls or just join the social scene then I suppose the time to go out is late and not 5PM like I had done. However I had my instructions from the missus. "Go out and relax, but don't stay out too late". I respected her wishes and returned before 8PM on both nights and even bought home dinner for those family members at the apartment.
The following morning I checked my wife and baby out of the hospital clinic and paid the bill. For the next few weeks the apartment was like a busy restaurant kitchen with many helping hands and visitors. At night there was a horde of female family members sleeping on the lounge floor with the balcony doors open for cool air. I felt a little odd retiring to the marital suite alone. With the air con whirring loudly all night I wouldn't be disturbed by crying baby or the early risers in the lounge.
It really did feel like a holiday. I was home always with the family and for a break I'd hit a few bars early evening once or twice a week. Other nights I'd stay home and drink my wife's whiskey. She had several 5 litre bottles lined up against the living room wall. There were three different types of whiskey all home made on the farm by her Mum or other family members in the provinces.
First a fruit based whiskey. The ten fruit whiskey tasted sweet from the natural sugar from the fruit and the honey. The consistency was clear all the way down apart from slightly sloppy where the fruit lay fermented in the bottom four inches of the jar.
Why would a new Mum want to drink so much whiskey you ask. Well, it's common in Cambodia. A fruit whiskey will give you a 'young body' to quote to my wife. Apparently the fruit and whiskey combine to help the damaged and stretched skin to tighten again and to become more supple. Then there is a ginger based whiskey. Ginger also helps the skin and body repair. Primarily it fights infection and protects against infection. The third whiskey has scorpions in it. This one is the most potent and is the one which has more medicinal purposes. I suppose a natural paracetamol and energy source.
For the two or three weeks after childbirth my wife would have a glass of one or two of the different whiskeys every day. And she'd sleep soundly because of the high alcohol content. The grandmother looked after baby at night and suffered the sleepless nights whilst the mother had long undisturbed sleeps. The whiskey aided her recovery and helped our evenings to become merry and lots of fun.
I'd like to add that the full on parental responsibility was not avoided for too long. At a point between three weeks and four weeks the bomb dropped so to speak. New parents need that. They've been having it easy, but watching and learning. Initially they struggle. However they have all the tools and know how to use them, they just lack experience.
I compare that time in Cambodia to the birth of my fourth child in the U.K. where my wife had no homemade whiskey and no help from her large extended family. Doing it 'cold turkey' will lots of pills though and of course me waiting on her hand and foot, however no home comforts. And my mum had the elder kids sleepover at hers a few nights, which of course was a great help. Less cold turkey and more luke warm turkey.
How much whiskey was there? I'd hazard a guess at 50 litres. One expensive ingredient included was honey. Real honey, not the common imitation honey which is a much cheaper alternative. Her extended family sourced the honey from bees nests themselves. About half of the whiskey was gifts from family and the other half made by mum on the farm. If you were to purchase all the ingredients yourself a 50 litre horde would set you back 2000 dollars. That is twice the price of a basic blended supermarket Scotch in the U.K., but probably about the same mark up as a decent single malt in the U.K.
Whiskey wasn't the only gift we had. $100 from this aunt, $20 from that aunt. $50 from that friend. $5 from another friend. Quite considerable gifts from Cambodians - a country with great poverty and only a few rich. There are of course the medium and they are those who were in poverty, but with luck and determination. My wife fits that category. Plus her parents are intelligent even if they didn't go to school. 1970's.
Not for the first time this year glowing accounts of my wife sit beside uncensored stories of past conquests. They'll be more in part four and part five.
Part four
I wonder how many of those who are addicted to Asian women would occasionally travel to snowy Central Europe for their kicks. Perhaps it's the lack of lady bars. Well, I found one in Praha. Hot Peppers Strip Club on Wenseles Square was good value for money. The entry fee was equivalent to five GBP and included a voucher for two free drinks. It was around midnight and I'd been drinking with a Pole and a German that I'd met earlier in the evening. We were all well oiled and after taking our seats beside the stage we could see the various topless girls were well oiled too. Those two guys paid for private dances and found that it was a waste of money. The variety of girls dancing on stage was pleasing. Not just Eastern European girls, but ones who looked to be from Asian and African heritage. Heritage is important and the next day I sampled the mulled wine and the traditional European Christmas market.
The following morning I had a 10am train to Vienna. I sat alone in my carriage and looked out of the window. I saw two girls run for the train. As luck would have it they both chose my carriage to sit in. I smiled as they sat down all flustered and red faced. They spoke in their native German at first, except they weren't German, or Swiss, or Austrian. That intrigued me. It turns out they were from a province in mountainous northern Italy quite close to the Austrian border which spoke German primarily. This was because for many generations that part of Italy was part of the Austro-Hungarian empire and only became modern day Italy after WWII.
They were both about 20. I was only 27 at the time. They had several backpacks and I surmised that they had been traveling for a long time. They had those Euro train cards and limited funds. Sleeping rough in public parks and washing in public toilets was their main tactic to save money. The travel cards were purchased before they left home and enabled perhaps a twelve month period of travel and a dozen or more countries to travel between. The conversation quickly turned to comedy or childish humour depending on your opinion. They named their backpacks Bitch, naughty girl and other amusing obscenities. We laughed and told stories. One girl offered me a cigarette and I refused, telling her I didn't smoke. They went to the toilet together to smoke. About an hour later they went again for cigarettes and returned in the same flirtatious state. Shortly afterwards the pretty blonde asked if I wanted to join her for a cigarette. I was about to remind her that I didn't smoke, but when I saw her wry smile I accepted.
I know what you're thinking. It was a ploy for the second girl to go through my bags whilst I was gone. I took the risk and was very glad I did. On the whole though it's quite difficult to get your leg over in Europe compared to in SE Asia and even more difficult in a 2 by 2 foot toilet. I had never been to Asia at that point, so fast forward 1 year and I found myself backpacking from China to Thailand. When I first arrived in Bangkok I'd been enjoying the company of an American girl and when she had to fly back for work I stayed on. The first night alone in Bangkok I went to a club on Khao San Road. I left with a girl called Ploy.
We both wanted to eat after dancing so we sat down to Pad Thai. A little Thai bird sat down opposite us and the two girls vied for my attention. I kissed Ploy goodbye and said hello to little Nok. I was drunk, exhausted and incapable as I remember but did manage to feed the bird back in her room. In the morning we went to Kanchanaburi for New Year. We travelled as a foursome. Three guys and one girl. Her mates were a Thai and a Swede. I rented a Hilux and drove them around town and to visit the sights outside of town. We stayed at the Thai guy's house in the sticks. We cooked sticky rice in bamboo and slept next to a fire. It's so good to do the local things when you travel.
When I left Thailand the following month we stayed in touch akin to boyfriend and girlfriend. Inevitably if you don't return quickly or show a promise of marriage then the relationship fizzles out. That was a completely different scenario to the time my wife and I spent apart. I mean we were already married for a start and had three kids between us. It felt like a jail sentence being away from my beloved wife and son for so long and of course her pain was more than mine because she missed the kids that I took back to the U.K. obviously as she has that mother child connection that fathers don't have due to carrying them whilst pregnant and birthing them.
We were married in Cambodia and the three kids were born in Asia. The two eldest had British passports. The third child was only one month old when I flew back to settle prior to doing the visa for my wife. Baby stayed with mum whilst I took his documents with me. I submitted the documents to the passport office in the U.K. His passport application took 17 months as opposed to just a few months with the older two kids. Firstly the passport office emailed me stating that we hasn't submitted original documents. I told them that we had and the application stalled over the disagreement. They returned only a couple of the original documents that I'd sent. So I congratulate them for losing his original birth certificate, family book and other documents. Maybe human error was the reason for this. I wrote to them telling them to conduct a search for the lost documents. My MP also wrote letters to the passport office on my behalf. At the end of the day nothing was found and several months were lost when what I should have in fact done was just gotten the documents reissued in Cambodia and reapplied straight away. I did bite the bullet eventually and did this at great cost to me not just financially but also the lost time. Put simply it delayed significantly the family being reunited.
On the second application Her Majesty's Passport Orifice rejected the countersignatory person. They asked for a new one by the 5 February. Coincidentally I had tickets to return for a family holiday in Cambodia and returning back to the U.K. on the 5 February. I told them that I would indeed get a new countersignatory and post it first class signed for if they could only extend the deadline a couple of days. I received a written response agreeing to the extension. At Heathrow Airport I posted the letter and it arrived the next day. On the same day that the paperwork was received at HMPO I received an email contradicting the extension email. This email stated that the application had been closed as I hadn't given them the information that they requested within the deadline. It took another two months before I had a written apology. They admitted their error and told me that they would waver the cost of the third application. Money wasn't the issue, time was. Alongside this application was the application for my wife's visa. More hoops to jump through and more mistakes from the government institutions.
How did I manage the three years separation. The short answer is I just did. It was a matter of just accepting that some things were out of our hands and we just had to work on the visa, jump through the hoops and survive.
The best way to cope was to immerse myself with my full time job - and the kids outside of working hours. I did the paperwork required. I did the research and I completed the tasks. Also when it went to court I represented myself. I didn't trust a lawyer to do it for me.
Mentally it was tough. I had occasional fits bought on by the prolonged stress.
Another thing that helped me through the separation was regular trips back to Cambodia. I went back every year. Flights for the three of us cost £800 (1 adult, one lap infant and one seat infant). We flew back three times in the first twelve months. The price of flights steadily increased as the kids got older.
You're probably asking about how I could support my family assuming that I was the sole money earner. Simply put I worked for the entire time, was frugal and saved. I also had some help. There is a government childcare scheme enabling those on a low income free childcare, well up to 30 hours free a week and 38 weeks of the year. I either paid full price for childcare out of school term time or utilized my days off and my mother or sister who worked part time. As a single parent I paid less tax too.
It's common knowledge that a starting wage for a postman is around £10 an hour. So with overtime I could earn enough to support the kids. My parents and friends often gave gifts of clothing, books and toys. I used charity shops/thrift shops for things like push chairs and car seats.
Even though my wife had equity I still felt obliged to send money to her and my youngest son. I sent between $100-$250 a month. Sometimes I sent more.
My last grandparent had a will. She left me 8k which was enough to buy a decent car. I brought a five year old Volvo - I still have it now.
Which reminds me. When thinking about life and death. There are those who save and build equity. There are those that spend each paycheck straight away. I am closer to the latter since I save only short term - enough for a holiday then I start again from scratch. Life is for living after all. That's my firm belief anyway.
So six times in three years I flew to Asia and the five of us were together again. Fun and happy we were, however the real dark days were the several months in between the reunions. The son in Cambodia was involved in a RTA and very nearly died. He needed brain surgery and thankfully has looked to have made a full recovery.
Dark times lead to dark places. I can thank these organizations for helping me become an alcoholic. Whiskey is my go to drink in case you hadn't surmised already.
One thing about head injuries if anyone has had one is that sometimes the true effects aren't seen until much later in life. I myself was starved of oxygen when born and nearly died. Nearly is the key word - tragedy was avoided on both occasions. We thank our lucky stars.
So, will you guys live life to its fullest? You can't take it with you. Perhaps you can Donate to some good cause like to the cost of running a sexist website?
There is the possibility of a serious operation needed and will insurance cover it? Maybe. In my son's case there was a charitable children's hospital in Phnom Penh which enabled free health care - unusual for SE Asia. We donated blood and a little money in return.
I believe I have the resolve and will power to pull in the reigns when it comes to drinking too much and abstaining from other vices. Although I haven't been affected by a messy divorce, bereavement, drug use, bankruptcy or homelessness yet so who knows how I'll roll after one or more of these. I thank those organizations that gave me hope and the strength to go on, like the NHS and King Bopha children's hospital.
Part five
Finally some stories of two girls I nicknamed Daddy and Thief.
Daddy. In 2010 internet cafes were still prominent in Saigon. I'd visit one every other day. Usually I'd see the same pretty Vietnamese girl chatting for hours with the cashier. I'd exchanged plesentaries with her a number of times and on one occasion off the cuff invited her for dinner. She was only a couple of years younger than me, slim and small with a crazy look in her eyes. She wore the smallest Jean shorts and an equally tiny top. I remember she had a decent rack and a tattoo on her neck. She'd worked in taiwan and had an ex and kids there apparently. After dinner we went to the park and sat down on a bench. She started getting touchy feely and kissed me whilst calling me daddy a few times. I took her back to mine and put her on repeat.
Thief. There was another girl who I saw wandering around often. She looked different from most of the others. She was taller and had some European features - possibly some French. She dressed differently too choosing to wear baggy trousers like the ones you occasionally see western backpackers wear especially twenty or thirty years ago. I tried and I liked. I was especially happy with her sucking techniques. We dated and fucked 5 times in two weeks I believe. It was after she had left on the morning after the sixth that I noticed that I was a few notes light. 200,000 - 400,000 vnd or roughly 10 - 20 dollars.
Whilst on topic I was in Nha Trang two years prior to this and I left thirty crisp 100,000 notes in the hotel safety deposit box before going to the beach. When I returned I could tell straight away that my wallet had been opened. There was one note missing . They'd been a change of reception staff so I couldn't blame him, but I gave him an earful and checked out the hotel straight away.
Back to the thief in Saigon with the baggy trousers. She was 26 I'd guess and had a look of craziness in her eyes which I knew when I first laid eyes on her would end up with us up parting unceremoniously. Upon the discovery I texted her a threatening message. "If I see you again I'll break your legs" The purpose was to scare her, humour myself and gain some revenge. I can honestly say that I wouldn't carry out the threat. No way. It was a game which could have backfired. It was stupid and could have been dangerous for me. I have courage, bravado and danger in equal amounts in my DNA.
Two nights later and I was sat at an outside corner bar and I saw her accross the street approaching a banh mi sandwich stand. She clocked me and attempted to hide behind a lamppost. Playfully peeping at me. After a few playful glances at me she walked over. With a beaming smile and her purse wide open she offered to buy me dinner. "Yeah, with my money!" I said. With little drama or fuss I took the open purse from her open hands and emptied it's contents and dropped the purse on the floor and walked off calmly. That shocked her I guess as she didn't start calling me back straight away. I ignored her calls from behind and continued walking at normal pace the short distance to my local. I sat down and ordered a drink. I had 150,000vnd in my hand so I'd recouped about 50% back. I took a large swig of the Saigon Red and placed it down on the table. My English buddy was beside me and just as I opened my mouth to start retelling the story she appeared. She put on an act of being upset and it was obviously an act. I pretended to be more upset than I was too. I stood up in front of her and spat on the ground and called her a thieving naughty girl. She asked for it back a few times and I told her no each time. She walked off and I sat back down. There was no way I was gonna put my hands on her or throw anything.
Two crazy girls. One had a perverse sexual nature and the other got gratification out of danger games. Perhaps I am a combination of the two! Anyway that's as crazy as it got in Saigon. I dated scores of other girls there, but they were all tame in comparison. I'd say a quarter of the girls had jobs in tourism - a receptionist here, a tour guide there. One tour guide I kissed in a club invited me to teach her sister and best friend English the following week. I was paid in bottles of spirits and a fabulous feast of food and fun. I got my tongue down her mates throat and her sister's too that evening. I pulled a number of hotties from clubs and bars who were there to dance and find a guy. Some were quite obviously from rich well educated families and some were your poor hairdressers and the like. A few girls came from recommendation - one girl who liked me and was a virgin, but was of no interest to me hooked me up with her hot banker friend. The rest came from bars, mostly a sports bar - bar staff mind and not hookers.
A waitress or a bar tender would mostly be in the job to find a foreign boyfriend and not a one night stand. So it was no surprise that when I dated these waitresses and the sort that they cheated on me. They met many guys during their shifts and some they would like. I wouldn't want to hazard a guess at how many of these guys they would exchange contact details with before submitting them to the ideal partner tests. Most of these foreigner hunters would string a few guys on hoping to separate the wheat from the chaff. It's fair to say that I was being polygamous too at that stage of my life. I'd like to think that like I did these girls whittled the guys down to actually manage to find a promising LTR and stayed faithful. At the end of the day its natural to look for a partner to settle down with and have kids.
Those of us who wish to play the field and go with as many girls as we can could easily have fallen into the monogamous flytrap and visa versa.
With my wife sometimes I think our relationship is not strong and I'd have an easier time with a western girl. It's at these times I think things will get better and most of all I've got to think about the kids. Then at other times I am so proud of her. She's a great lady. There's loads of sexual chemistry and silliness so obviously after 7 years we're still more than compatible. It could go tits up and I'm working to make sure as best as I can that it doesn't. I sometimes think that she's overly harsh with the kids misdenemours. Then I think maybe I am overly harsh with them too at times. If anything these thoughts are new and we aren't getting enough sleep due to having a 1 year old baby. Different cultures and silly games also play a part. They're always there so we have to adapt and take it on the chin - maybe make a joke or child's play out of it. Darwin said it best 'survival of the fittest'. We're stressed, tired and not thinking straight, but we cope - we survive.
For me in Vietnam there have been more conventional trysts than unconventional ones - many more. I'm sure that those tales of ten dates and getting nowhere and went to a movie with this girl, for a coffee with this girl would bore the tamest traveller. Ok, I'll tell one of the better ones.
She was adopted at birth by childless billionaires. When the dad got sick his companies went downhill. When he died she still inherited a fortune. She lent me the keys to her country house in picturesque Da Lat whilst she was away travelling Europe. Travelling/faucking Europe - same same. Her goal was to get pregnant and have a cute mixed race kid. She offered herself to me, but I passed on that seeing her more as a friend. She was short and apart from having the most flirtatious come to bed eyes I'd seen on a Vietnamese she wasn't a looker. Also she was a terrible cook. I was much more interested in some of her friends, but they weren't into me. Most aren't, but if you put yourself out enough you'll find a diamond who is.
My diamond wife does annoy me at times, but that is what they are meant to do western, SE Asian, whatever. Real people annoy each other sometimes with their views, comments or lack of tact. It's called being real - as opposed to fake. Some are very polite or keep their views to themselves. Believe me I do that sometimes too. Whatever you want to call it people annoy people. Friends have failings out, families too.
Now can you answer the questions
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Part one.
What did I have at Angkor?
a) a premonition,
b) an accident,
c) an ice cream
Part 2
What did I plead in court?
a) insanity,
b) murder,
c) human rights legislation
Part 3
After I left the hospital what happened?
a) I had a fight at the bus station,
b) I went to a bar for a whiskey,
c) I was mugged at knifepoint.
Part 4
What did I do with my paychecks?
a) invested in a business deal that went sour,
b) saved for holidays,
c) spent it on beer, women, drugs and gambling
Part 5
What do I compare my wife to?
a) a crazy dog,
b) a gold digging thieving,
c) a precious stone
What did I have at Angkor?
a) a premonition,
b) an accident,
c) an ice cream
Part 2
What did I plead in court?
a) insanity,
b) murder,
c) human rights legislation
Part 3
After I left the hospital what happened?
a) I had a fight at the bus station,
b) I went to a bar for a whiskey,
c) I was mugged at knifepoint.
Part 4
What did I do with my paychecks?
a) invested in a business deal that went sour,
b) saved for holidays,
c) spent it on beer, women, drugs and gambling
Part 5
What do I compare my wife to?
a) a crazy dog,
b) a gold digging thieving,
c) a precious stone
A link and a brief summary would suffice.
2
2
pew, pew, pew, pew!
- FishHead Phil
- I have some social problems
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A photo would be nice.................., dinner, tickets to a show.
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski
― Charles Bukowski
- ផោមក្លិនស្អុយ
- Daylight, I need Daylight !?!
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I think I'll wait and just watch the movie when it's released.
I tried. But got bored after about 3 minutes and gave up
Don't ever think of becoming a writer
Don't ever think of becoming a writer
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I just read your story. Really great read.
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Great story and an interesting story teller direct and to the point, no attempt at flowering things up to try and make yourself appear clever. Keep those stories coming
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Enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing your story.
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Just wanted to thank you. I greatly enjoyed reading them in particular because I have similar stories of traveling in Asia for years and finally running into the right girl, marrying her and bringing her to the West.
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It's interesting that when I posted this on a different expat website with comments closed and left my email address as contact that I only received positive comments. However with comments open I get only negative replies.
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