testicles
I could post an image of what mine look like after the stitches split, but somehow I doubt it would be suitable for a public forum.
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Drum roll please!Birdy wrote:That's what Doctor Scott saidcambod wrote:LoL, I didn't see that coming!shizzle wrote:I recently went to Dr Scott for a check-up and the prick told me that I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why. His response - "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Definitely too nasty. However, send it to one of the newspapers here and I'm sure they'll put on the front page....scoffer wrote:I could post an image of what mine look like after the stitches split, but somehow I doubt it would be suitable for a public forum.
Tell us ur symptoms, and I'm sure someone on this forum can diagnose u and possible offer a feasible solution...mango45 wrote:Thank you very much for your responses gentlemen , both the informative and the usual humour , much appreciated
Mango
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Coincidentally an old Vietnamese lady has passed this on to me by email this morning - old but pertinent:
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you
$25,000 that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that
there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Canada !'
I came, I argued, I'm out
Old Vietnamese lady sent u this today? Does she still freelance at the WalkAbout?andyinasia wrote:Coincidentally an old Vietnamese lady has passed this on to me by email this morning - old but pertinent:
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank ...
;-°
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i used too think you where crazy...... but now i can see your nuts.scoffer wrote:I could post an image of what mine look like after the stitches split, but somehow I doubt it would be suitable for a public forum.
Why, oh why, didn't I take the Blue pill?
"I thank you" Austin Powers I thinklong in the tooth wrote:i used too think you where crazy...... but now i can see your nuts.scoffer wrote:I could post an image of what mine look like after the stitches split, but somehow I doubt it would be suitable for a public forum.
This was in an Aussie rag today
Tourist Bitten
I Had a Ball In Oz, a Sore one
A British tourist has told of being bitten on the testicle by a tiger snake in Tasmania.
Glasgow muso Jackson Scott, 29, said he felt the fangs of one of the deadliest snakes in Australia at the end of his 4am squat.
"I went into the garden to save slushing because water is precious in the outback. Just as I was about to tuck everything safely away, it bit me", he said.
His mate, Rod, drove him the 40 minutes fir ab antidote.
"Rod was not of a mind to suck out the poison". Scott said.
Yes! This, for me, is exactly the kind of thread that should be bumped. Made me laugh!
I could run the joke further by enquiring which problem, Evan, your problem is similar too? The desire to masturbate in Doctor's surgeries, or perhaps you have a gambling 'problem' like the Vietnamese lady? Penny farting?
However, in case your problem is more like the former, I can tell you Doctor Scott's office is close to Psar Cha, in the last block to the Northwest of it. His office phone number was online. Good luck, I'm sure he'll have some tissues, no need to bring your own.
I could run the joke further by enquiring which problem, Evan, your problem is similar too? The desire to masturbate in Doctor's surgeries, or perhaps you have a gambling 'problem' like the Vietnamese lady? Penny farting?
However, in case your problem is more like the former, I can tell you Doctor Scott's office is close to Psar Cha, in the last block to the Northwest of it. His office phone number was online. Good luck, I'm sure he'll have some tissues, no need to bring your own.
Reminds me of seeing a navy doctor when i was 19.
Went in for a sore throat & he did a rectal exam..go figure.
Went in for a sore throat & he did a rectal exam..go figure.
Navy Store on 172 is not a medical facility, you got taken