Cambodian girlfriend
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Cambodian girlfriend
I am Australian and I have a Cambodian girlfriend.
We moved into the same house together to save money. But now she said that we have to get married because of tradition.
If we don't get married, her family honor will be ruined and people will talk bad about them.
But I don't want to get married. We have only known each other for 1 year.
I do like her, she is very nice and honest, she is not after permanent residence or money.
But people she knows are already talking bad about her because we live together before marriage.
She cries about her family honor and I feel like I should marry her to solve her problem.
I can't just leave her alone to face the hatred. But I don't want to get married. I just wanted a girlfriend, and get married later.
If we stay together, her family honor is ruined. If we break-up, its the same problem. The only solution to keep other people happy is to get married.
What should I do?
We moved into the same house together to save money. But now she said that we have to get married because of tradition.
If we don't get married, her family honor will be ruined and people will talk bad about them.
But I don't want to get married. We have only known each other for 1 year.
I do like her, she is very nice and honest, she is not after permanent residence or money.
But people she knows are already talking bad about her because we live together before marriage.
She cries about her family honor and I feel like I should marry her to solve her problem.
I can't just leave her alone to face the hatred. But I don't want to get married. I just wanted a girlfriend, and get married later.
If we stay together, her family honor is ruined. If we break-up, its the same problem. The only solution to keep other people happy is to get married.
What should I do?
"440 Troll, who me? No not me, TAXI!"
- Bitteeinbit
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You could always just do a cheapo ceremony which involves no paperwork or legal obligations but usually puts everyone at ease. Not sure if these informal weddings are cheaper than formal ones. Another option (if you are looking for an easy excuse and you are over 50 or make less than 2500k/month) is telling her you simply can't marry her because Cambodian law prohibits it. You would love to but your hands are tied... Then she would probably ask for an informal wedding ceremony so you're back to square one.
But your question is stupid: don't marry anyone just because they want to get married. Unless you also want to and feel ready it's a surefire recipe for disaster. That's why I thinm the unofficial wedding seems like a good option.
But your question is stupid: don't marry anyone just because they want to get married. Unless you also want to and feel ready it's a surefire recipe for disaster. That's why I thinm the unofficial wedding seems like a good option.
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- Making Khmer girls cry since 2003
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I believe they are in Australia, not Cambodia. So he can't use the argument that it's against Cambodian law.
What you should tell her (politely) is "I have no desire to get married anytime soon. If you don't like that, there's the door. Otherwise, stop whinging."
Problem solved.
What you should tell her (politely) is "I have no desire to get married anytime soon. If you don't like that, there's the door. Otherwise, stop whinging."
Problem solved.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
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Thanks Bitteeinbit, we are planning to get engaged, then married.
I am just from a different culture where we do not get married so quickly.
We like to find out if we can get along for a while first, before making such a big commitment.
But Khmer people marry so quickly.
I am just from a different culture where we do not get married so quickly.
We like to find out if we can get along for a while first, before making such a big commitment.
But Khmer people marry so quickly.
"440 Troll, who me? No not me, TAXI!"
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[quote="gavinmac"]I believe they are in Australia, not Cambodia. So he can't use the argument that it's against Cambodian law.
What you should tell her (politely) is "I have no desire to get married anytime soon. If you don't like that, there's the door. Otherwise, stop whinging."
Problem solved.[/quote]
She says that her family will be dishonoured and shamed. She has a sister in school, and worries that people will talk bad about her family.
Her parents own businesses and worries other people in the community will look down on them.
I don't know what to do. I love her, but I don't want to get married so early.
What you should tell her (politely) is "I have no desire to get married anytime soon. If you don't like that, there's the door. Otherwise, stop whinging."
Problem solved.[/quote]
She says that her family will be dishonoured and shamed. She has a sister in school, and worries that people will talk bad about her family.
Her parents own businesses and worries other people in the community will look down on them.
I don't know what to do. I love her, but I don't want to get married so early.
"440 Troll, who me? No not me, TAXI!"
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- Making Khmer girls cry since 2003
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Yeah, we get it. You're getting the full on guilt trip. Same options. Door. Stop whinging. Lay down the law. Take some lessons first from Don-Pierre de Plume if you have to.
Follow my lame Twitter feed: @gavin_mac
Sounds like you want honey on the stinger without out responsibility. Get out or get in.
We don't know enough about you or the lady. Was she the aggressor in living with you? Were you both naive to begin with? Was this puppy love to begin with? Did you sweet talk her into living with you?
Were you aware that sleeping with a most virgin ladies in Cambodia has major ramifications to her and her family. Maybe she was the instigator.
We don't know enough about you or the lady. Was she the aggressor in living with you? Were you both naive to begin with? Was this puppy love to begin with? Did you sweet talk her into living with you?
Were you aware that sleeping with a most virgin ladies in Cambodia has major ramifications to her and her family. Maybe she was the instigator.
If I knew for certain that a person was coming to my house with the intent of doing me good, I would run for my life HDT
- badboybubby
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that's an eternity in cambodian time...Barthes wrote:But I don't want to get married. We have only known each other for 1 year.
comes with the territory...nothing you can do about it..Barthes wrote: people she knows are already talking bad about her
and that's fine as long as both of you were on the same page when you started out..Barthes wrote:I just wanted a girlfriend, and get married later
He's been in his room 35 years...time to let him out!
take her to see some kids dying of aids and tell her to fucking grow up.
Is she in Oz? Then explain aussie tradition in this matter, and she is welcome to practice Asian tradition if she goes back home.
Is she in Oz? Then explain aussie tradition in this matter, and she is welcome to practice Asian tradition if she goes back home.
Last edited by toady on Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Jacked Camry
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If you go through a formal engagement ceremony, then you're good as far as Cambodian honour is concerned.
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- MerkinMaker
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What she's saying is entirely true, and if you've been in Cambodia or around Cambodians for more than five minutes you must have known this to be the case from the outset. Like Willie said we don't know the circumstances, because that changes things a lot. For example, if she has been married previously and divorced then the rules completely change and you'll be given a lot more freedom without anyone loosing face.
IF she was a virgin when she met you and you pressed her in to sleeping with you, I'm pretty sure she would've been bringing up the subject of marriage before she allowed that to play out. But unlike living with you, at least that can be denied. If you're living together there's no denying that and her family will have already lost face even if you get married now. AND IF you were also the one who pressed her into living with you, there's no way that you didn't know what Cambodian social norms were and deciding not to marry her now knowing what the social ramifications of that are for her, puts you squarely in the 'cunt' bracket at far as I'm concerned, and using your own cultural norms as a defense is just a cop out.
You do the crime, then you do the time!
IF she was a virgin when she met you and you pressed her in to sleeping with you, I'm pretty sure she would've been bringing up the subject of marriage before she allowed that to play out. But unlike living with you, at least that can be denied. If you're living together there's no denying that and her family will have already lost face even if you get married now. AND IF you were also the one who pressed her into living with you, there's no way that you didn't know what Cambodian social norms were and deciding not to marry her now knowing what the social ramifications of that are for her, puts you squarely in the 'cunt' bracket at far as I'm concerned, and using your own cultural norms as a defense is just a cop out.
You do the crime, then you do the time!
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So is the OP in Oz or Cambodia?
Dictated to a slave and sent by carrier pigeon.
Barthes wrote:I am Australian and I have a Cambodian girlfriend.
We moved into the same house together to save money. But now she said that we have to get married because of tradition.
If we don't get married, her family honor will be ruined and people will talk bad about them.
But I don't want to get married. We have only known each other for 1 year.
I do like her, she is very nice and honest, she is not after permanent residence or money.
But people she knows are already talking bad about her because we live together before marriage.
She cries about her family honor and I feel like I should marry her to solve her problem.
I can't just leave her alone to face the hatred. But I don't want to get married. I just wanted a girlfriend, and get married later.
If we stay together, her family honor is ruined. If we break-up, its the same problem. The only solution to keep other people happy is to get married.
What should I do?
Ha!Barthes wrote:She says that her family will be dishonoured and shamed. She has a sister in school, and worries that people will talk bad about her family.gavinmac wrote:I believe they are in Australia, not Cambodia. So he can't use the argument that it's against Cambodian law.
What you should tell her (politely) is "I have no desire to get married anytime soon. If you don't like that, there's the door. Otherwise, stop whinging."
Problem solved.
Her parents own businesses and worries other people in the community will look down on them.
I don't know what to do. I love her, but I don't want to get married so early.
She dishonored and shamed her family the minute she moved in with you without being ALREADY married.
She wasn't married when she moved in with you, right?
100% agree with Gav. Don't marry her until you want to.
She knew going into this she would soon be telling you this scripted story about how you now have to get married.
Let her stay if she wants, otherwise, she knows where the door is.
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- MerkinMaker
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Just a general tip, if you are looking for a fuck monkey or doormat wife, with little character and no spirit, this kind of approach is the way to go, you'll find exactly what you're looking for and likely get what you deserve.cambod wrote: She says that her family will be dishonoured and shamed. She has a sister in school, and worries that people will talk bad about her family.
Her parents own businesses and worries other people in the community will look down on them.
I don't know what to do. I love her, but I don't want to get married so early.
Ha!
She dishonored and shamed her family the minute she moved in with you without being ALREADY married.
She wasn't married when she moved in with you, right?
100% agree with Gav. Don't marry her until you want to.
She knew going into this she would soon be telling you this scripted story about how you now have to get married.
Let her stay if she wants, otherwise, she knows where the door is.
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