Of course it's better for the kids to go to the EU. You're just coming up with excuses why they shouldn't because you don't want to move back there.v12 wrote: ↑Mon May 10, 2021 10:28 amIt's easy to mix up the (continuous) support with the legal situation.
My family has been "interested" (to put it that way), to take the kids I take care of to .eu, for a better future, etc. Also, the kids would love to do come to the .eu. Though, no way for me to consider that relocation. Apart from the formal legal aspects, the kids would be extremely lonely in a far-away and cold country, not to say, having to adapt to a completely different culture.
Better spent some more money to give support in a local environment, with sufficient Western influence (ehhh, the positive things), than trying to arrange something formal which is not allowed.
In case you want to arrange the inheritance items, think about gradually moving your possessions to Cambodia, where you much easier can "transfer" ownership to her. Just take care, you take your time to do so. Spread this over many, many years and things move easy. It's all about long-term planning. And the long-term aspect gives you also more control what is happening.
Just realize, you can not bring kids in 1 generation up to Western standards/capabilities. It needs at least 2 generations and even then, it'll be difficult.
Adoption of Khmer kid by foreigner
Both his mother and Grandma are control-freaks and are wary of everything looking like a more modern life approach. They do think in farming and/or factory work. They simply don't get it, that there could be a good living from creating artwork. At which Junior is really, really good. Because he is not allowed to make sophisticated drawings now, he turned into minimalistic drawings. With just a few lines and a few color dots, he makes fantastic art.Lucky Lucan wrote: ↑Mon May 10, 2021 9:21 pmThat sounds rather backwards. My kid is very close to his grandparents here but they are from the capital so perhaps are a bit more modern than that? His grandfather went to RUFA so the idea that "drawing is for kids" never came up, he just doesn't care much for it himself anyway. Anytime we've visited Europe he gets on fine and adults are usually surprised how confident he is with them. I don't believe there's any huge insurmountable barrier there, but of course it depends on the individuals.v12 wrote: ↑Mon May 10, 2021 6:42 pmNot right- or left-wing racist, just realism with experience.
These kids do come with "experience", where they are ingrained to listen to "Grandma" with her old-fashioned methods. I still struggle to get Grandma to approve letting Junior ride his bicycle. He is 12 now. Or junior being an artist (drawing) and Grandma forbidding him to make drawings nowadays, simply because she considers drawings "only for children".
These kids did get raised to absolutely not speak-up towards parents/grand-parents, just to accept whatever they are told to do. That is so much ingrained, you don't get that out of them, it did just form their character (with subsequently mental issues coming with that, when such an approach is not fitting their natural character).
And, yep, it is very frustrating to see, how junior gets abused with these things.
Back in Europe, the kids would have little "family" there. I don't have any close-by living family there (most of them are already old-age or even dead), so that would neither be an option. Add to that the practical problem (they aren't my DNA), it would be practically impossible to get visa's granted, let alone I can take the kids there without their legal parents. Even educational visa's would be very difficult. Just let them fantasize about the "much better world", etc.
I don't. I think, you should not mix up the always happening exceptions to a more general situation, where the majority of children with limited background and little learning capabilities will not be able to do so.
IF these children had been adopted in the EU at a very young age (<=1), OK, then, they may have grown up in one generation up to (near) western capabilities, though that is usually not the case. These kids do have a (big) backpack seriously hindering/limiting their future opportunities. It's not about money, it's about what you can't buy with money.
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Generally, I think V12 is speaking a lot of sense here.
Of course everyone will know of exceptions. But consider 'normal' kids in Cambodia, not just city kids, or kids who have had significant exposure to westerners. A lot of it rings true for me.
Of course everyone will know of exceptions. But consider 'normal' kids in Cambodia, not just city kids, or kids who have had significant exposure to westerners. A lot of it rings true for me.
Agreed. I know very few kids in Cambodia with any sense of purpose (e.g. working at getting good grades) or even interested at all in learning as it involves work - and most Khmer parents, no matter how "nice" they are, have zero ambition and are on the lazy side.ផោមក្លិនស្អុយ wrote: ↑Tue May 11, 2021 1:52 pmGenerally, I think V12 is speaking a lot of sense here.
Of course everyone will know of exceptions. But consider 'normal' kids in Cambodia, not just city kids, or kids who have had significant exposure to westerners. A lot of it rings true for me.
A western parent makes a huge difference a you can clearly see how most mixed kids tend to do much better.
@op You can be recognized as a guardian of the child, along with the mother via the courts. The father would have to accept relinquishing his rights, though if he is uncontactable, putting a notice on the newspaper will suffice.
But at the end of the day, it brings relatively little benefit, except perhaps being able to travel with you, without the mother.
Best to consider contributing to her future and help her to make the right choices at the right time. Plenty of opportunities in Cambodia for those who can figure shit out.
But at the end of the day, it brings relatively little benefit, except perhaps being able to travel with you, without the mother.
Best to consider contributing to her future and help her to make the right choices at the right time. Plenty of opportunities in Cambodia for those who can figure shit out.
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I don't think the ethnicity of the kid or individual is key to this kind of thing. A lot of people (myself included) kind of just go along more or less with whatever the surroundings suggest to them. Displaying individuality on smaller scale life choices. But everywhere there are strong-willed and or focused individuals that set out to reach a well-defined goal. Having support for such goals back home obviously makes them easier to reach, but with a bit of luck and dedication, it can still be done, though the higher the odds, the fewer make it. Though looking into statistics tells a pretty clear story. Most don't wander far. So if a hundred people being brought up in one culture would be dropped into another, the majority would mostly continue the previous lifestyle and stick to established beliefs, minimizing any changes that are needed to deal with a new environment. Whilst a few of them would adopt and benefit from their additional life experiences.
Kind of why large-scale migration waves often end up creating segregated neighborhoods. Not due to being less able, more due to struggling with adopting. And then as a last resort at least trying to find some familiarity where you live. Thus unintentionally making it harder for the next generation to integrate.
Kind of why large-scale migration waves often end up creating segregated neighborhoods. Not due to being less able, more due to struggling with adopting. And then as a last resort at least trying to find some familiarity where you live. Thus unintentionally making it harder for the next generation to integrate.
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