it throws me when native speakers don't understand the nuances of the language. basic education matters, as does early socialisation and book reading.Piston Broke wrote:Saw this city reporter on tv interviewing an old cattle farmer out west.
'Have you lived here all your life?'
'Umm... not yet'.
The one liners thread
- violet
- Suspicious Little Mad Woman
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The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
- Plutarch
Violet dear it was a TV interview, I bet the old cattle farmer chuckled after his reply, he was taking the piss.on that question.violet wrote:it throws me when native speakers don't understand the nuances of the language. basic education matters, as does early socialisation and book reading.Piston Broke wrote:Saw this city reporter on tv interviewing an old cattle farmer out west.
'Have you lived here all your life?'
'Umm... not yet'.
those old buggers have strange humour and get the last laugh certainly in NZ. Sir Colin Meads, farmer/All Black legend had such humour.
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- Damn, I just saw my Internet Bill !
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Clearly a dad joke if ever I Saw one. If you don't see the humour violet then you are possibly more autistic than our little gavinmac.violet wrote:it throws me when native speakers don't understand the nuances of the language. basic education matters, as does early socialisation and book reading.Piston Broke wrote:Saw this city reporter on tv interviewing an old cattle farmer out west.
'Have you lived here all your life?'
'Umm... not yet'.
Violet, being bigger and taller than our gavinmac is surely the more autistic. Does it work that way?Gin&Tonic wrote:Clearly a dad joke if ever I Saw one. If you don't see the humour violet then you are possibly more autistic than our little gavinmac.violet wrote:it throws me when native speakers don't understand the nuances of the language. basic education matters, as does early socialisation and book reading.Piston Broke wrote:Saw this city reporter on tv interviewing an old cattle farmer out west.
'Have you lived here all your life?'
'Umm... not yet'.
You guys know you are old when you look at the menu instead of the waitress.
This post was made by a regular poster on another forum, but I thought it was worth a repost here.
A diet guru is holding a seminar in the conference room of a large hotel.
“The food we eat,” he explains, “is slowly killing us.
Red meats attack the heart.
Vegetables and fruits are sprayed with harmful pesticides.
Even our drinking water is polluted!
But do you know which food is much more dangerous than them all ?
Can anyone tell me what it is?”
A man in the back of the room raises his hand and, when called on, answers, “Wedding cake?”
A diet guru is holding a seminar in the conference room of a large hotel.
“The food we eat,” he explains, “is slowly killing us.
Red meats attack the heart.
Vegetables and fruits are sprayed with harmful pesticides.
Even our drinking water is polluted!
But do you know which food is much more dangerous than them all ?
Can anyone tell me what it is?”
A man in the back of the room raises his hand and, when called on, answers, “Wedding cake?”
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Just thought I'd share that with you.
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- I have some social problems
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All sort of rest room...
The very best thing about growing older as a man is wearing bifocals to the bathroom.
This from a chalkboard in a very famous restaurant in Beverly Hills. I think it was supposed to be "High class"
The 3 greatest philosophers of all time"
Nietzsche- "To do is to be"!
Jung- "To be is to do"!
Sinatra- "Doobeedoobeedoo"!~
Please don't throw toothpicks in our toilets, our crabs pole vault.
It won't help to stand on the seat we trained our crabs to jump 6 feet.
The very best thing about growing older as a man is wearing bifocals to the bathroom.
This from a chalkboard in a very famous restaurant in Beverly Hills. I think it was supposed to be "High class"
The 3 greatest philosophers of all time"
Nietzsche- "To do is to be"!
Jung- "To be is to do"!
Sinatra- "Doobeedoobeedoo"!~
Please don't throw toothpicks in our toilets, our crabs pole vault.
It won't help to stand on the seat we trained our crabs to jump 6 feet.
"A day without learning is a day lost!"
President Trump is the kind of Man who would go into a confessional booth and never come out!
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- I live above an internet cafe
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You really think he'd go into a confessional booth in the first place?
'The human brain is a 3 lb, 20 watt, self-programming supercomputer mass produced by unskilled labor'.
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