The one liners thread
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, a chinese lady, who was trying to exchange remimbi for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of remimbi. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The chinese lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Taxi, we'd rather walk. Huddle a doorway with the rain dogs The Rum pours strong and thin. Beat out the dustman with the Rain Dogs; Oh, how we danced and you Whispered to me ... You'll never be going back home
Partial Lyrics - Tom Waits
Partial Lyrics - Tom Waits
A party girl goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. she can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other. She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life ... which she then attempts to do. In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too f*ckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Taxi, we'd rather walk. Huddle a doorway with the rain dogs The Rum pours strong and thin. Beat out the dustman with the Rain Dogs; Oh, how we danced and you Whispered to me ... You'll never be going back home
Partial Lyrics - Tom Waits
Partial Lyrics - Tom Waits
You just made that upRain Dog wrote:I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, a chinese lady, who was trying to exchange remimbi for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of remimbi. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The chinese lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
K440 : Lucky cheese for the gentry; poultry and death for the peasants.
"Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad."
"Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad."
- RainMan
- K440 Defender of the Faith
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Sherlock squeezes a lemon over his penis and looks over at the bent over Watson, "What are you doing Sherlock?"Chuck Wow wrote:Sherlock Holmes tells Dr. Watson to go buy him some cheese. . "What cheese do you need Sherlock?" He asks... Holmes pauses..
"Emmental and Brie, my dear Watson"
"It's lemonentry dear Watson."
Never mind.
Mr. Fruitcake to Raz - "did you know back in Oz I was a sex object!"
Raz to "overpriced fruitcake" - I know, you asked the girls for sex and the object!
Raz to "overpriced fruitcake" - I know, you asked the girls for sex and the object!
- violet
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I don't get itChuck Wow wrote:Sherlock Holmes tells Dr. Watson to go buy him some cheese. . "What cheese do you need Sherlock?" He asks... Holmes pauses..
"Emmental and Brie, my dear Watson"
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
- Plutarch
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- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
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violet wrote:I don't get itChuck Wow wrote:Sherlock Holmes tells Dr. Watson to go buy him some cheese. . "What cheese do you need Sherlock?" He asks... Holmes pauses..
"Emmental and Brie, my dear Watson"
It took you three months to not get it??????
I came, I argued, I'm out
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Two Jews walk into a bar and they buy it....
I was born with nothing,and I still have most of it left !
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