whats pink and silver and bumps into walls
baby with forks in its eyes
so why couldnt buddha hoover the couch
he had no attachments
later buddha hungrey walks into a pizza parlour
n says 'make me one with everything'
so he gets his pizza and asks for his change
and is told 'my friend ur change must come from within'
hmmmm
A joke
- Doctor Seuss
- Basement Dweller
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 5015
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 8:53 pm
- Doctor Seuss
- Basement Dweller
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 5015
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 8:53 pm
Playboy jokes?
Whats more fun than swinging playboy on a clothes line at 100km/h?
Stopping him with a cricket bat.
What's the best way to put Playboy into a blender... feet first so you can see the expression on his face.
What's the best way to take Playboy ut of a blender?
With a straw.
What's yellow and blue and sits on the bottom of a pool?
Playboy with flat Floaties.
What do you call a bunch of Playboys buried in the ground with their asses sticking out?
Bikeracks.
------
How many ethopians can you fit in a shower? Millions, they keep falling down the drain hole.
----
What do you call a bunchof aboriginals rolling down a hill?
An abo-lanch
What do you call a bunch of aborigines rolling up a hill?
Black magic.
What do you call an aborigine in a red car?
A jaffa
What do you call an aborigine in a red lambourghini?
A Thief?
Whats more fun than swinging playboy on a clothes line at 100km/h?
Stopping him with a cricket bat.
What's the best way to put Playboy into a blender... feet first so you can see the expression on his face.
What's the best way to take Playboy ut of a blender?
With a straw.
What's yellow and blue and sits on the bottom of a pool?
Playboy with flat Floaties.
What do you call a bunch of Playboys buried in the ground with their asses sticking out?
Bikeracks.
------
How many ethopians can you fit in a shower? Millions, they keep falling down the drain hole.
----
What do you call a bunchof aboriginals rolling down a hill?
An abo-lanch
What do you call a bunch of aborigines rolling up a hill?
Black magic.
What do you call an aborigine in a red car?
A jaffa
What do you call an aborigine in a red lambourghini?
A Thief?
-
- I've got nothing better to do
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 65
- Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 5:54 pm
- Doctor Seuss
- Basement Dweller
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 5015
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 8:53 pm
Dr "S",
I am somewhat upset by your Aborignal Jokes, their position in Australian society is a mixture of stupid and inconsistent Government policy, lack of edcuation, and outright stupidity on their own behalf.
But they are no less worthy of assistance than any other person.
Having experienced first hand yourself, some of the shit the world throws at less developed cultures, I expected a more balanced comment.
I am somewhat upset by your Aborignal Jokes, their position in Australian society is a mixture of stupid and inconsistent Government policy, lack of edcuation, and outright stupidity on their own behalf.
But they are no less worthy of assistance than any other person.
Having experienced first hand yourself, some of the shit the world throws at less developed cultures, I expected a more balanced comment.
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
Chicken Ticketed for Crossing the Road
RIDGECREST, Calif. - Linc and Helena Moore may have finally learned the answer to that age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken doesn't know jaywalking is illegal.
Kern County Sheriff's Deputy J. Nicholson does know, however. The deputy issued a ticket on March 26 to one of the couple's chickens for impeding traffic on a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining community southeast of Ridgecrest.
The Moores arrived in Superior Court on Friday to plead not guilty to their chicken's alleged transgression. A trial was scheduled for May 16.
Nicholson has declined to discuss the matter, but sheriff's Sgt. Francis Moore said chickens on the roadway have been a problem in the community of 50 residents. Officials didn't believe it could be resolved by simply issuing the couple a warning.
"Sometimes you have to let people talk to the judge," Moore said.
The chicken's owners say they believe they were cited because they were among several people who complained that sheriff's deputies haven't done enough to control off-road vehicle riders who damage roads and create dust and noise in their neighborhood.
Sheriff's officials say that isn't so, adding they are doing what they can to keep off-roaders away from the area's homes.
"The chicken thing has nothing to do with the motorcycle thing," Moore said.
Chicken Ticketed for Crossing the Road
RIDGECREST, Calif. - Linc and Helena Moore may have finally learned the answer to that age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken doesn't know jaywalking is illegal.
Kern County Sheriff's Deputy J. Nicholson does know, however. The deputy issued a ticket on March 26 to one of the couple's chickens for impeding traffic on a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining community southeast of Ridgecrest.
The Moores arrived in Superior Court on Friday to plead not guilty to their chicken's alleged transgression. A trial was scheduled for May 16.
Nicholson has declined to discuss the matter, but sheriff's Sgt. Francis Moore said chickens on the roadway have been a problem in the community of 50 residents. Officials didn't believe it could be resolved by simply issuing the couple a warning.
"Sometimes you have to let people talk to the judge," Moore said.
The chicken's owners say they believe they were cited because they were among several people who complained that sheriff's deputies haven't done enough to control off-road vehicle riders who damage roads and create dust and noise in their neighborhood.
Sheriff's officials say that isn't so, adding they are doing what they can to keep off-roaders away from the area's homes.
"The chicken thing has nothing to do with the motorcycle thing," Moore said.
- Doctor Seuss
- Basement Dweller
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 5015
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 8:53 pm
Don't be so sensitive Scoffer.. they are just jokes!!!scoffer wrote:Dr "S",
I am somewhat upset by your Aborignal Jokes, their position in Australian society is a mixture of stupid and inconsistent Government policy, lack of edcuation, and outright stupidity on their own behalf.
But they are no less worthy of assistance than any other person.
Having experienced first hand yourself, some of the shit the world throws at less developed cultures, I expected a more balanced comment.
Would you have been so offended if I had used the words "black person" or "native American" instead (as Im sure the american version of the jokes are told)?
I think not.
But its just a joke man. You didnt get your back up about baby jokes, political jokes, American jokes, French jokes or Playboy jokes, so why get get so upset over aboriginal jokes?
I could have easily got just as upset over French jokes, but I didn't. Why?
ITS JUST A JOKE!
Don't be so sensitive.
When it comes to the whole aboriginal issues... now that you mention it....
I agree that aborigines are a disadvantaged lot. After all having your country stolen form you by force, then having your family unit and culture systematically destroyed, and then trying finding a place to where you can fit in, in what's left... it must have been tough for them.
But, speaking of "what Ive experienced first hand". I've been beaten up by a pack of over 10 aborigines for the crime of simply looking different (because I had peroxided hair and body piercing - that was the fashion at the time), and endured all kinds of crap from Aborigines. I've also lived in a shared community in the North for a short time, where they were just out of control, and also in a small country town, where even though they were a minority, they were responsible for the majority of problems.
I dont accept this "oooh, we've had such a hard time from the government" crap. OK, they stole your country, it was 200 years ago, get over it.
OK,they stole your children, I cant even begin to fathom what that must have been like.
But the new generation have only themselves to be responsible for. I have my life and its my responsibility to make the best I can of it, with the opportunities I have. They are no different. Its their choice whether to be a good person, or someone to be afraid of. In my experience, I have only met the latter.
Anyway, that being said...
What do you call a black person living in Australia?
Not an Aborigine, cos Scoffer might get offended.
-
- 440 newbie - handle with care
- Reactions: 0
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 4:18 pm
I know its only a Joke, and I understand first hand your comments on the relationship that exists back in Oz, Abbo's ( yes I can use that word ) that bludge and moan and beat up every one they can find waste their own life and the people the interact with.
My comment came about because dispite the flaming we fling at each other, we both choose to be here and can defend ourselves in one way or another, I've listened to you get stuck into the wrongs in Camb, and state your opinion on and about those that don't seem to care about the place.
Whilst I may not of agreed with your point of view, I've enjoyed your argument and the reasons you used to support them.
That is why I was surprised at the abbo jokes, it just seemed out of place.
But you were also correct in saying if you were bagging the Yanks, Poms or Frence then I wouldn't of given it a second glance.
Don't ask me why this caught my eye, as I don't know.
Apart from that you Christian hating mother fucker, you now owe me a beer.
But I'll also accept a Mekong and Soodaa.
My comment came about because dispite the flaming we fling at each other, we both choose to be here and can defend ourselves in one way or another, I've listened to you get stuck into the wrongs in Camb, and state your opinion on and about those that don't seem to care about the place.
Whilst I may not of agreed with your point of view, I've enjoyed your argument and the reasons you used to support them.
That is why I was surprised at the abbo jokes, it just seemed out of place.
But you were also correct in saying if you were bagging the Yanks, Poms or Frence then I wouldn't of given it a second glance.
Don't ask me why this caught my eye, as I don't know.
Apart from that you Christian hating mother fucker, you now owe me a beer.
But I'll also accept a Mekong and Soodaa.
I refuse to go out with nothing more than a whimper followed by a small farting sound and a shit stain on my bed sheets..
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Just thought I'd share that with you.