A travel blog of sorts, I guess.
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There's quite a few of these around.
I’m now being abused by my Indonesian hosts here in Ubud. As they’e mostly all four feet ten in height and don’t have a ladder, seemingly every time I return from a walk I’m asked to reach for this, or climb for that. They’ve conveniently remembered where they put those things they thought they’d never used again - and Balinese people appear to store those things up high in dark places. Yesterday I discovered two new species of Indonesian spider.
Satay ikan. Fish satay.
Bum guns are possibly the greatest inventions, like, ever. How we haven’t adopted this Asian technological marvel in the west is beyond me as there’s no better way to take care of business in the morning than firing a robust jet of water into the nether regions to let physics tidy things up. It should be advised to always give your bum gun a bit of a test burst however, as changing rooms the other day almost resulted in my hemorrhoids replacing my tonsils.
The days are becoming cooler and more overcast with occasional rain as the wet season looms.. Bracelet and sarong sellers who roam the streets in search of unsuspecting tourists have now included rain ponchos in their inventory, making them appear like magic in front of your face at the slightest hint of rain. I love the wet season but it fogs my glasses and I’m forever at risk of walking into an irrigation ditch or buffalo crap. I’m enjoying Ubud again and don’t want to leave.
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski
― Charles Bukowski
- Phuket2006
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Cant imagine anything worse than a bum gun when its >10 degrees outside and the water is not heatedBum guns are possibly the greatest inventions, like, ever. How we haven’t adopted this Asian technological marvel in the west is beyond me as there’s no better way to take care of business in the morning than firing a robust jet of water into the nether regions to let physics tidy things up. It should be advised to always give your bum gun a bit of a test burst however, as changing rooms the other day almost resulted in my hemorrhoids replacing my tonsils.
"We are turning into a nation of whimpering slaves to Fear—fear of war, fear of poverty, fear of random terrorism, or suddenly getting locked up in a military detention camp on vague charges of being a Terrorist sympathizer." HST
Wouldn't it be worse if it was <10 degrees outside and the water is not heated?Phuket2006 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 14, 2022 1:02 pmCant imagine anything worse than a bum gun when its >10 degrees outside and the water is not heatedBum guns are possibly the greatest inventions, like, ever. How we haven’t adopted this Asian technological marvel in the west is beyond me as there’s no better way to take care of business in the morning than firing a robust jet of water into the nether regions to let physics tidy things up. It should be advised to always give your bum gun a bit of a test burst however, as changing rooms the other day almost resulted in my hemorrhoids replacing my tonsils.
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"Goodness me! Now STD free..."
You write very entertaining blogs. Thank you!
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Generous of you to acknowledge the rambles.djelibabi wrote: ↑Wed Sep 14, 2022 5:17 pmYou write very entertaining blogs. Thank you!
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski
― Charles Bukowski
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Nice gun.
A guy was walking along the side of the road pulling a suitcase by its extended handle (nothing with wheels works very well on Bali footpaths), while another chap in uniform cradling a gun walked a couple of meters behind Suitcase Man scanning their surroundings. I asked to take a pic of them both to be told Suitcase Man mustn’t be photographed, but the minder with the gun was happy to make Suitcase Man wait while he himself Instagrammed it up. Personally, I’d prefer my security detail to not “Like, share and subscribe” during working hours.
If you saw the two tattooed, fierce-looking men pictured above walking toward you, you’d be in great danger - in great danger of getting involved in some kind of Balinese roadside hootenanny hoedown thing. These guys own a tattoo shop and are always hanging out front playing instruments that you, well, you just don’t expect big tattooed, fierce-looking Balinese dudes to play. Today they jammed an impromptu bluegrass song (of all things) which could be their breakout number putting them on the map - if they can stop laughing long enough to record it.
I’ve come to notice the Balinese are very light on their feet. Admittedly, they aren’t in possession of a great deal of mass to cause much of a reaction when they come into contact with the ground, but I often don’t hear them approach resulting in a bit of a fright as they appear beside you unexpectedly out of nowhere. If you asked the Balinese some might claim some sort of wizardry. I wonder what an Asian Harry Potter novel would read like.
That’s the biggest banana I’ve ever seen - that’s what she said. But, no, really, that is the biggest banana I’ve ever seen. Balinese women also often refer to a man’s appendage as a banana, and wooden phallic carvings abound with exaggerated proportions at every turn on Monkey Forrest road. The footpaths here aren’t wide enough with vendors spilling out all over them, so you’re forever bumping into wood as you pass pedestrians coming the other way.
A flight to Thailand in a couple of days brings these Bali blogs to an end.
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski
― Charles Bukowski
- Lucky Lucan
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It's probably a plantain.
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
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Ah, of course. Do you know what type of gun the security guy is carrying, LL?
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski
― Charles Bukowski
- Lucky Lucan
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I think it's a Pindad SS1-V5.
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Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
No, it’s a banana.
pew, pew, pew, pew!
- Lucky Lucan
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Without dissecting one we can't really tell but plantains look like really big bananas. They can be green or colored like the ones in the photo. I ate them regularly way back but wouldn't be that keen on them now.
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
Is that true of all bananas, or just this variety?Lucky Lucan wrote: ↑Thu Sep 15, 2022 8:19 pmWithout dissecting one we can't really tell but plantains look like really big bananas. They can be green or colored like the ones in the photo. I ate them regularly way back but wouldn't be that keen on them now.
Used to love Windsor but now I rarely eat any type. Maybe the finger ones from the Buddha house when they are stuck under my nose.
I think it's to do with Peter Andre who had a medical issue because he ate way too many whilst touring. Bit like why I don't touch eggs - Edwina Curry and the salmonella scare. Or eat seeds - trees grow inside your belly.
I am easily influenced.
pew, pew, pew, pew!
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Plantains need to be cooked.
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
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