Cambodian American Looking to Marry Cambodia Girl
Cambodian American Looking to Marry Cambodia Girl
Long time lurker here on these forums. Aside from all the crude humor, this is one of my news outlets for whats happening in Cambodia. Plus it's interesting to read about other folk's experiences here.
Anyway, as the Title says, I wonder if there are any other Cambodian American's interested in marrying a good local (non-Phnom Penh) Cambodian girl?
- What are your experiences? Both good and bad when brought back home?
- Things to look out for.
- How to best filter out people just not out for your money.
Yes, I've read the article "10 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Cambodian Girl" and "10 Reasons Why You Should NOT Marry a Cambodian Girl".
You may ask why? Theres something interesting and attractive about someone who's very cultural, who shares traditional Cambodian values. With the high rate of divorce here in the States, Cambodian traditional values can lead to longer term marriage. Not to mention it is much easier for her to get along with some of my family members here (older aunts, etc who does not quite speak english well). I already understand the hardships, and transitioning to a lifestyle here in the US, but I'm comfortable with it.
I'll be going in April just in time for New Years (hopefully when all girls all get back home to their small towns). I I have an Aunt who is trying to filter and find me some girls to introduce me too, but there has been some problems with that. Most are un-attractive; possibly my taste for what is attractive in an asian girl is quite different from my Aunt. It is to the believe that as long as you're light skinned, it instantly makes you attractive.
I can speak Khmer decent enough to get by. Obviously while I'm still Cambodian, I do look like a foreigner.
Also, sidenote: a few Cambodian girls there have told me, and I've seen some as well...most White foreigners tend to choose mostly unattractive girls. Because of the favored light-skinned a lot of girls there say "I wonder why hes with her? He can do soo much better.."
Anyway, I'm sure I missed some things. Hello! K440 Members.
Anyway, as the Title says, I wonder if there are any other Cambodian American's interested in marrying a good local (non-Phnom Penh) Cambodian girl?
- What are your experiences? Both good and bad when brought back home?
- Things to look out for.
- How to best filter out people just not out for your money.
Yes, I've read the article "10 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Cambodian Girl" and "10 Reasons Why You Should NOT Marry a Cambodian Girl".
You may ask why? Theres something interesting and attractive about someone who's very cultural, who shares traditional Cambodian values. With the high rate of divorce here in the States, Cambodian traditional values can lead to longer term marriage. Not to mention it is much easier for her to get along with some of my family members here (older aunts, etc who does not quite speak english well). I already understand the hardships, and transitioning to a lifestyle here in the US, but I'm comfortable with it.
I'll be going in April just in time for New Years (hopefully when all girls all get back home to their small towns). I I have an Aunt who is trying to filter and find me some girls to introduce me too, but there has been some problems with that. Most are un-attractive; possibly my taste for what is attractive in an asian girl is quite different from my Aunt. It is to the believe that as long as you're light skinned, it instantly makes you attractive.
I can speak Khmer decent enough to get by. Obviously while I'm still Cambodian, I do look like a foreigner.
Also, sidenote: a few Cambodian girls there have told me, and I've seen some as well...most White foreigners tend to choose mostly unattractive girls. Because of the favored light-skinned a lot of girls there say "I wonder why hes with her? He can do soo much better.."
Anyway, I'm sure I missed some things. Hello! K440 Members.
dunno...
on a side note... quite a few psychopaths (hitting the news) had exceptionally unattractive women, while themselves really good looking...
at first glance this seems weird, surprising, as there comes also a lot of narcissim with psychopathy... and one would assume, they are rather looking for attractive show-offs at their side...
but - the game is a different one... its about control and domination... some little attractive (women) would do EVERYTHING for that attractive male... in addition, the psychopath knows how to manipulate, and when this is easy, they have reached the goal...
they show that women so much attention, they brush up so much their self-confidence, that - at the end of the day - they are wax in the hands of the psycho...
on a side note... quite a few psychopaths (hitting the news) had exceptionally unattractive women, while themselves really good looking...
at first glance this seems weird, surprising, as there comes also a lot of narcissim with psychopathy... and one would assume, they are rather looking for attractive show-offs at their side...
but - the game is a different one... its about control and domination... some little attractive (women) would do EVERYTHING for that attractive male... in addition, the psychopath knows how to manipulate, and when this is easy, they have reached the goal...
they show that women so much attention, they brush up so much their self-confidence, that - at the end of the day - they are wax in the hands of the psycho...
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I come from a city with a rather large number of Khmers. Tons of them (men) go back to find wives, so you're not exactly alone in that respect. Many of the ones who came over in the 80s simply have trouble finding wives (be they western of Khmer women) or long for a traditional "srey sopheap". However, most of them get hooked up via family or extended family. Friends of a cousin's friend, that kind of stuff. I think just rocking up here with plans to get a mail-order bride might be harder than it looks. You could get lucky. There are tons of good girls of course, but it would be hard to meet potential suitors by staying here for two weeks. You could maybe get a few leads, but not much more I would imagine. How long do you plan on staying for?
Also, how old are you? Like it or not, money and age are factors and I know local girls who have been proposed to by Khmericans, but didn't want to marry them (despite family pressure) because of the age difference and the fact that they'd have to live so far from their families. I also know one girl (well, friend of a friend whom I've met) who tagged a Khmerican along for a while via long-distance calls and the internet despite having a younger Khmer boyfriend...
So it's probably best to meet girls through your own contacts. That's obviously how Khmers do it and that's how they can know/trust that she's a "good girl". Also, as you probably know, "traditional Khmer values" does include a very important financial aspect. And if you do get a real country bumpkin, be prepared to have to show her how to use a toilet etc.
And why do you look like a foreigner? I can imagine you sticking out because of your demeanor, clothing and accent, but surely you look Cambodian? Anyways, I would suggest you start asking all our Khmer friends and acquaintances back in the US if they know some nice girls back in Cambodia. Surely a few potential girls will pop up and you can meet them once you get here (preferably chatting on the phone skype beforehand). As for the dark/light skinned thing, yes, Khmers in Cambodia are way more obsessed about it than Khmers abroad.
Also, how old are you? Like it or not, money and age are factors and I know local girls who have been proposed to by Khmericans, but didn't want to marry them (despite family pressure) because of the age difference and the fact that they'd have to live so far from their families. I also know one girl (well, friend of a friend whom I've met) who tagged a Khmerican along for a while via long-distance calls and the internet despite having a younger Khmer boyfriend...
So it's probably best to meet girls through your own contacts. That's obviously how Khmers do it and that's how they can know/trust that she's a "good girl". Also, as you probably know, "traditional Khmer values" does include a very important financial aspect. And if you do get a real country bumpkin, be prepared to have to show her how to use a toilet etc.
And why do you look like a foreigner? I can imagine you sticking out because of your demeanor, clothing and accent, but surely you look Cambodian? Anyways, I would suggest you start asking all our Khmer friends and acquaintances back in the US if they know some nice girls back in Cambodia. Surely a few potential girls will pop up and you can meet them once you get here (preferably chatting on the phone skype beforehand). As for the dark/light skinned thing, yes, Khmers in Cambodia are way more obsessed about it than Khmers abroad.
- Barang_doa_slae
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I am married for 3 years and in my extended inlaws family it's already the 3rd wedding to Americans Khmers...
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WTF??potty wrote:dunno...
on a side note... quite a few psychopaths (hitting the news) had exceptionally unattractive women, while themselves really good looking...
at first glance this seems weird, surprising, as there comes also a lot of narcissim with psychopathy... and one would assume, they are rather looking for attractive show-offs at their side...
but - the game is a different one... its about control and domination... some little attractive (women) would do EVERYTHING for that attractive male... in addition, the psychopath knows how to manipulate, and when this is easy, they have reached the goal...
they show that women so much attention, they brush up so much their self-confidence, that - at the end of the day - they are wax in the hands of the psycho...
My typically pithy thoughts have been suppressed due to outright bewilderment regarding how you thought this would be germane.
[quote="LexusSchmexus"]I come from a city with a rather large number of Khmers. Tons of them (men) go back to find wives, so you're not exactly alone in that respect. Many of the ones who came over in the 80s simply have trouble finding wives (be they western of Khmer women) or long for a traditional "srey sopheap". However, most of them get hooked up via family or extended family. Friends of a cousin's friend, that kind of stuff. I think just rocking up here with plans to get a mail-order bride might be harder than it looks. You could get lucky. There are tons of good girls of course, but it would be hard to meet potential suitors by staying here for two weeks. You could maybe get a few leads, but not much more I would imagine. How long do you plan on staying for?[/quote]
Only going to be here a very short period - 2 weeks. Been to Cambodia last year - met someone and talked for a year, but didn't pan out. Without going into too much details, it just didn't work out.
I'm glad you're aware and I hear ya. Plenty of older Khmericans here (in the 40's & 50's) often go back and marry absolutely young girls (18yrs old or in their early 20's). Often times I hear they end in divorce or the girl leaving - no surprise there when these young girls get acclimated and know they can do better.
I'm 30. Not necessarily too old or too young.
[quote="LexusSchmexus"]So it's probably best to meet girls through your own contacts. That's obviously how Khmers do it and that's how they can know/trust that she's a "good girl". Also, as you probably know, "traditional Khmer values" does include a very important financial aspect. And if you do get a [i]real[/i] country bumpkin, be prepared to have to show her how to use a toilet etc.[/quote]
Haha - ya, I'm aware there are a lot of things I will have to point out. I'm more interested in a country girl than a Phnom Penh city girl. It's tough to get in touch with someone being so far away. I have younger cousins, but unfortunately they're out of school and don't know anybody - most of their friends are married. Unfortunately, I only have an Aunt to rely on for introductions.
[quote="LexusSchmexus"]And why do you look like a foreigner? I can imagine you sticking out because of your demeanor, clothing and accent, but surely you look Cambodian? Anyways, I would suggest you start asking all our Khmer friends and acquaintances back in the US if they know some nice girls back in Cambodia. Surely a few potential girls will pop up and you can meet them once you get here (preferably chatting on the phone skype beforehand). As for the dark/light skinned thing, yes, Khmers in Cambodia are way more obsessed about it than Khmers abroad.[/quote]
Demeanor, clothing, & accent does make me stick out; more so than anything is I shave my head (which is more commonly associated with foreigners). I've had some introductions in the past and talks through Skype, but I'm starting to hate that. Because of cultural traditions, most assume this introduction is essentially a 75% chance I'm going to marry. It does not matter how many different ways I say"I just want to talk first, as friends..this doesn't mean anything", the girl's family always assumes it will result in marriage. When after Skyping I feel theres no connection, the family loses "face" and so does the person making the introductions for me.
Only choice I have now is just to go Cambodia to start the process. Obviously not going to marry right away, but to hopefully meet someone that has potential.
Only going to be here a very short period - 2 weeks. Been to Cambodia last year - met someone and talked for a year, but didn't pan out. Without going into too much details, it just didn't work out.
I'm glad you're aware and I hear ya. Plenty of older Khmericans here (in the 40's & 50's) often go back and marry absolutely young girls (18yrs old or in their early 20's). Often times I hear they end in divorce or the girl leaving - no surprise there when these young girls get acclimated and know they can do better.
I'm 30. Not necessarily too old or too young.
[quote="LexusSchmexus"]So it's probably best to meet girls through your own contacts. That's obviously how Khmers do it and that's how they can know/trust that she's a "good girl". Also, as you probably know, "traditional Khmer values" does include a very important financial aspect. And if you do get a [i]real[/i] country bumpkin, be prepared to have to show her how to use a toilet etc.[/quote]
Haha - ya, I'm aware there are a lot of things I will have to point out. I'm more interested in a country girl than a Phnom Penh city girl. It's tough to get in touch with someone being so far away. I have younger cousins, but unfortunately they're out of school and don't know anybody - most of their friends are married. Unfortunately, I only have an Aunt to rely on for introductions.
[quote="LexusSchmexus"]And why do you look like a foreigner? I can imagine you sticking out because of your demeanor, clothing and accent, but surely you look Cambodian? Anyways, I would suggest you start asking all our Khmer friends and acquaintances back in the US if they know some nice girls back in Cambodia. Surely a few potential girls will pop up and you can meet them once you get here (preferably chatting on the phone skype beforehand). As for the dark/light skinned thing, yes, Khmers in Cambodia are way more obsessed about it than Khmers abroad.[/quote]
Demeanor, clothing, & accent does make me stick out; more so than anything is I shave my head (which is more commonly associated with foreigners). I've had some introductions in the past and talks through Skype, but I'm starting to hate that. Because of cultural traditions, most assume this introduction is essentially a 75% chance I'm going to marry. It does not matter how many different ways I say"I just want to talk first, as friends..this doesn't mean anything", the girl's family always assumes it will result in marriage. When after Skyping I feel theres no connection, the family loses "face" and so does the person making the introductions for me.
Only choice I have now is just to go Cambodia to start the process. Obviously not going to marry right away, but to hopefully meet someone that has potential.
[quote="potty"]dunno...
on a side note... quite a few psychopaths (hitting the news) had exceptionally unattractive women, while themselves really good looking...
at first glance this seems weird, surprising, as there comes also a lot of narcissim with psychopathy... and one would assume, they are rather looking for attractive show-offs at their side...
but - the game is a different one... its about control and domination... some little attractive (women) would do EVERYTHING for that attractive male... in addition, the psychopath knows how to manipulate, and when this is easy, they have reached the goal...
they show that women so much attention, they brush up so much their self-confidence, that - at the end of the day - they are wax in the hands of the psycho...[/quote]
I guess this is more of a heads up. White foreigners have so much more going for them to pick up on attractive Cambodian girls, yet I've seen so many in Phnom Penh with what I view as unattractive - just seems like they can do soooo much better. Maybe beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
on a side note... quite a few psychopaths (hitting the news) had exceptionally unattractive women, while themselves really good looking...
at first glance this seems weird, surprising, as there comes also a lot of narcissim with psychopathy... and one would assume, they are rather looking for attractive show-offs at their side...
but - the game is a different one... its about control and domination... some little attractive (women) would do EVERYTHING for that attractive male... in addition, the psychopath knows how to manipulate, and when this is easy, they have reached the goal...
they show that women so much attention, they brush up so much their self-confidence, that - at the end of the day - they are wax in the hands of the psycho...[/quote]
I guess this is more of a heads up. White foreigners have so much more going for them to pick up on attractive Cambodian girls, yet I've seen so many in Phnom Penh with what I view as unattractive - just seems like they can do soooo much better. Maybe beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
- charliethreezero
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A country girl (mostly because of stronger cultural values) between the ages of 20-26, with a soft-spoken personality...not one of those rude & very loud no mannered country girl . It's always the perception among the old folks, that if you're over 27+ and not married, theres something wrong with you (I'm sure theres some merits to this). Must not be married before.charliethreezero wrote:Just what exactly are you looking for?Zenny wrote:...I have younger cousins, but unfortunately they're out of school and don't know anybody.....
I'm all for a city girl, if she stills still a good girl (at least they will be a bit more modern), however, I don't know anybody in Phnom Penh and find it harder to meet people.
Maybe this is all too much to ask for?
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The ability to maintain the parts of both cultures which most favor him.charliethreezero wrote:Just what exactly are you looking for?Zenny wrote:...I have younger cousins, but unfortunately they're out of school and don't know anybody.....
A 'traditional' Khmer girl who doesn't mind being picked over like so much meat in a market while he determines if she's up to his standards, and is willing to live in a western country while not adopting the values which give benefit to women there.
Mind you, I'm not judging, merely waiting for the inevitable "Eddie!! Eddie, I want half!"
In all of PP there is not one "good girl" left. Trust me on this as I've been with most of them already (in the Biblical sense) more than likely. It's all "pay for play" here in the capital of the Kingdom. Not. There are heaps of "good girls" here, of course.Zenny wrote:A country girl (mostly because of stronger cultural values) between the ages of 20-26, with a soft-spoken personality...not one of those rude & very loud no mannered country girl . It's always the perception among the old folks, that if you're over 27+ and not married, theres something wrong with you (I'm sure theres some merits to this). Must not be married before.charliethreezero wrote:Just what exactly are you looking for?Zenny wrote:...I have younger cousins, but unfortunately they're out of school and don't know anybody.....
I'm all for a city girl, if she stills still a good girl (at least they will be a bit more modern), however, I don't know anybody in Phnom Penh and find it harder to meet people.
Maybe this is all too much to ask for?
It sounds to me like you're looking for a docile unquestioning "slave" from the countryside who you can totally dominate. She can be found. But, then again, even she might just wise up back "in the world" and see other enticing opportunities.
Try a deaf/mute who (might) be easier to control with her "cultural values" (whatever those are). Good luck, Mate!
I love fish and chips with vinegar in newspaper!!!
A quiet traditional Cambodian girl from the country side won't be looking to marry a girl, period. For starters, it goes against tradition, me thinks.
Keep dreaming. And now I have something new to dream about, thanks.
Keep dreaming. And now I have something new to dream about, thanks.
Haha. Not quite looking for a "slave". I'm not in the mindset of traditional Cambodian men. I have a lot of non-English speakers within our family, so I guess growing up I've held on to some traditional asian values, alongside American ones.Dagenham wrote:In all of PP there is not one "good girl" left. Trust me on this as I've been with most of them already (in the Biblical sense) more than likely. It's all "pay for play" here in the capital of the Kingdom. Not. There are heaps of "good girls" here, of course.Zenny wrote:A country girl (mostly because of stronger cultural values) between the ages of 20-26, with a soft-spoken personality...not one of those rude & very loud no mannered country girl . It's always the perception among the old folks, that if you're over 27+ and not married, theres something wrong with you (I'm sure theres some merits to this). Must not be married before.charliethreezero wrote:Just what exactly are you looking for?Zenny wrote:...I have younger cousins, but unfortunately they're out of school and don't know anybody.....
I'm all for a city girl, if she stills still a good girl (at least they will be a bit more modern), however, I don't know anybody in Phnom Penh and find it harder to meet people.
Maybe this is all too much to ask for?
It sounds to me like you're looking for a docile unquestioning "slave" from the countryside who you can totally dominate. She can be found. But, then again, even she might just wise up back "in the world" and see other enticing opportunities.
Try a deaf/mute who (might) be easier to control with her "cultural values" (whatever those are). Good luck, Mate!
Thanks for you advice though.
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Sounds like you're very much in the mindset of a traditional Cambodian male. You want a quiet country girl who, if she moved to the West, would be too scared to venture out the front door.Zenny wrote:Haha. Not quite looking for a "slave". I'm not in the mindset of traditional Cambodian men. I have a lot of non-English speakers within our family, so I guess growing up I've held on to some traditional asian values, alongside American ones.Dagenham wrote:In all of PP there is not one "good girl" left. Trust me on this as I've been with most of them already (in the Biblical sense) more than likely. It's all "pay for play" here in the capital of the Kingdom. Not. There are heaps of "good girls" here, of course.Zenny wrote:A country girl (mostly because of stronger cultural values) between the ages of 20-26, with a soft-spoken personality...not one of those rude & very loud no mannered country girl . It's always the perception among the old folks, that if you're over 27+ and not married, theres something wrong with you (I'm sure theres some merits to this). Must not be married before.charliethreezero wrote:Just what exactly are you looking for?Zenny wrote:...I have younger cousins, but unfortunately they're out of school and don't know anybody.....
I'm all for a city girl, if she stills still a good girl (at least they will be a bit more modern), however, I don't know anybody in Phnom Penh and find it harder to meet people.
Maybe this is all too much to ask for?
It sounds to me like you're looking for a docile unquestioning "slave" from the countryside who you can totally dominate. She can be found. But, then again, even she might just wise up back "in the world" and see other enticing opportunities.
Try a deaf/mute who (might) be easier to control with her "cultural values" (whatever those are). Good luck, Mate!
Thanks for you advice though.
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