Everything is a big joke
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Everything is a big joke
Recently hired a luxury vehicle with driver to go to Kampot for a day at a pretty large expense. The driver was a fucking maniac often going over 130 km/h while dodging carts, motorcycles, bicycles, school kids and animals. When a heavy rain came down he actually sped up "to get through to the other side quickly."
The police actually stopped him at a roadblock and said they clocked him going more than double the speed limit. He was more shocked than I that there was a speed trap in place in Cambodia. But no problem. He paid the fee in about a minute and we were back on the road. I asked him in Khmer to slow down at least five times. My local traveling companion did so even more, especially after the drive slammed on the breaks to avoid a motorcycle that he sped up on, throwing my luggage from the very back of the car to the front. The driver would slow down for a minute then speed back up again. I think he might have been retarded.
It was the same thing on the way back. I watched four cows cross the road then there was a gap. He never slowed down. When a fifth cow appeared out of nowhere he was looking out of the side window and a mountain. I told him to look and he slammed on the brakes throwing me up against the windshield. Instead of smashing his face in I told him to stop, called the company and told them I'd be driving the rest of the way. He got into the passenger seat with a big smile on his face.
Back at the rental place the boss asked me how the car was. I told him it was fine. Then he asked about the driver. I told him that the driver was a fucking maniac that had no business being behind the wheel of a KIA let alone driving passengers around in a 80,000 dollar vehicle. I told him about the four or five very near misses we had, the police stop and my multiple requests for him to slow down before reminding him that I had to drive home myself. His response was to laugh heartily and make a big smile telling me the driver was new. He then asked when I'd need another car. I told him there would be snow in Phnom Penh before I used his services again, flashed a big smile and left. All of this was done without anger which means I've probably been here too long. I'm starting to exhibit big stupid smile syndrome too.
Tourists always talk about the lovely smiles here. I agree that it is nice in some situations. But at what point does it get old? At what point do civilized people act with justified shock, awe or anger?
Another example. A friend's mom was walking in Toul Kork at night. Some jaos stopped her and demanded money. She told them she only had 2000 riel which is why she was walking. Then they demanded her gold bracelet. She told them it was fake. So they punched her in the face and gave her a big black eye. When my friend told the story the other Khmers around laughed furiously. I turned to look at my friend telling the story and she had the big old smile we've all come to know and love.
With some local business contacts a few weeks ago. One announced that a cousin from the province seventeen years of age was set to marry a Chinese guy in his forties. This was supposed to help with the family business in some way. Connections and money implied but not spoken of. I said that I thought the age to marry was 18. The reply, no problem in the province people even marry at 15 sometime. Big smiles all around.
Car wreck? Smile. Wrong order? Smile. Floods inside of your house? Smile. Police beat up your brother? Smile? One girl told me she found out her husband had another girl on the side recently. I asked if she was okay. She almost shed a tear before breaking into a furious laughter and a big, old, smile.
Happy, happy. Joy, joy.
The police actually stopped him at a roadblock and said they clocked him going more than double the speed limit. He was more shocked than I that there was a speed trap in place in Cambodia. But no problem. He paid the fee in about a minute and we were back on the road. I asked him in Khmer to slow down at least five times. My local traveling companion did so even more, especially after the drive slammed on the breaks to avoid a motorcycle that he sped up on, throwing my luggage from the very back of the car to the front. The driver would slow down for a minute then speed back up again. I think he might have been retarded.
It was the same thing on the way back. I watched four cows cross the road then there was a gap. He never slowed down. When a fifth cow appeared out of nowhere he was looking out of the side window and a mountain. I told him to look and he slammed on the brakes throwing me up against the windshield. Instead of smashing his face in I told him to stop, called the company and told them I'd be driving the rest of the way. He got into the passenger seat with a big smile on his face.
Back at the rental place the boss asked me how the car was. I told him it was fine. Then he asked about the driver. I told him that the driver was a fucking maniac that had no business being behind the wheel of a KIA let alone driving passengers around in a 80,000 dollar vehicle. I told him about the four or five very near misses we had, the police stop and my multiple requests for him to slow down before reminding him that I had to drive home myself. His response was to laugh heartily and make a big smile telling me the driver was new. He then asked when I'd need another car. I told him there would be snow in Phnom Penh before I used his services again, flashed a big smile and left. All of this was done without anger which means I've probably been here too long. I'm starting to exhibit big stupid smile syndrome too.
Tourists always talk about the lovely smiles here. I agree that it is nice in some situations. But at what point does it get old? At what point do civilized people act with justified shock, awe or anger?
Another example. A friend's mom was walking in Toul Kork at night. Some jaos stopped her and demanded money. She told them she only had 2000 riel which is why she was walking. Then they demanded her gold bracelet. She told them it was fake. So they punched her in the face and gave her a big black eye. When my friend told the story the other Khmers around laughed furiously. I turned to look at my friend telling the story and she had the big old smile we've all come to know and love.
With some local business contacts a few weeks ago. One announced that a cousin from the province seventeen years of age was set to marry a Chinese guy in his forties. This was supposed to help with the family business in some way. Connections and money implied but not spoken of. I said that I thought the age to marry was 18. The reply, no problem in the province people even marry at 15 sometime. Big smiles all around.
Car wreck? Smile. Wrong order? Smile. Floods inside of your house? Smile. Police beat up your brother? Smile? One girl told me she found out her husband had another girl on the side recently. I asked if she was okay. She almost shed a tear before breaking into a furious laughter and a big, old, smile.
Happy, happy. Joy, joy.
"Luxury" and "Kia"?
Oh and wear a seatbelt next time.
Oh and wear a seatbelt next time.
pew, pew, pew, pew!
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Even more out of touch is using a miserable excuse like cultural relativity to write off poor and even inhumane behavior.
When mothers beat their infant babies here with the full force of an adult in the middle of the street does that mean the same thing as the drunk dad in Mississippi who beats his kid?
When mothers beat their infant babies here with the full force of an adult in the middle of the street does that mean the same thing as the drunk dad in Mississippi who beats his kid?
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I did wear a "seatbelt" [sic]. What's your point?YaTingPom wrote:"Luxury" and "Kia"?
Oh and wear a seatbelt next time.
See that you have problems with reading comprehension too. I said he shouldn't be behind the wheel of a KIA let alone driving passengers around in a 80,000 dollar vehicle.
For your edification: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/let%20alone
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Another reason this is bullshit, locals are quite capable of getting angry and expressing it. Examples: violent protests, security forces beating protestors violently, drunken husbands beating their wives and kids on a regular basis in every part of the country, mothers ruthlessly beating their kids in the middle of streets and markets on a regular basis in every part of the country, shootings and stabbings, rapes, little kids kicking dogs and cats whenever they get a chance, etc., etc., etc.LTO wrote:Gestures, even reflexive ones such as smiling, don't mean the same thing in every culture. It's a tourist mistake to imagine that they do.
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Quite a leap from your inability to understanding Khmer facial expression to approving of beating infants in the streets. Kind of all over the place today.air stone wrote:Even more out of touch is using a miserable excuse like cultural relativity to write off poor and even inhumane behavior.
When mothers beat their infant babies here with the full force of an adult in the middle of the street does that mean the same thing as the drunk dad in Mississippi who beats his kid?
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You think gestures don't mean different things in different cultures? Should take even the most naive tourist but a couple of weeks on the road to figure that one out. Just a head up, that guy pointing with his lips is not blowing you kisses.air stone wrote:Another reason this is bullshit, locals are quite capable of getting angry and expressing it...LTO wrote:Gestures, even reflexive ones such as smiling, don't mean the same thing in every culture. It's a tourist mistake to imagine that they do.
air stone wrote:
Car wreck? Smile. Wrong order? Smile. Floods inside of your house? Smile. Police beat up your brother? Smile? One girl told me she found out her husband had another girl on the side recently. I asked if she was okay. She almost shed a tear before breaking into a furious laughter and a big, old, smile.
Happy, happy. Joy, joy.
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No, not really. You just aren't capable of understanding. You may be suffering from pronvincialism. How long have you been here?LTO wrote:Quite a leap from your inability to understanding Khmer facial expression to approving of beating infants in the streets. Kind of all over the place today.
This cultural relativist idea that smiles don't mean what smiles mean is bullshit. So Cambodians laugh and smile when they are happy like any other human or primate on earth, but when they laugh and smile at someone's misery they aren't actually happy, right? And when Cambodians smile at things that should make them angry, they are actually expressing anger by smiling. Right?
But when they do get angry in the same way as every other human, what is that? When the mother gets furious that little Amom spilled her sugar water and smacks her in the face with full force at Psar Thmei, what is that? Does that mean she is really angry? And if so why doesn't she show anger with a smile as in the other scenario? Why doesn't Bong Makara smile at his wife for asking why he spent the family nest egg on cards instead of smacking her around?
It's all hog shit. Cambodians get happy, sad and angry just like anyone else and express it in the same way. The problem isn't that people here smile. It is that they smile at the wrong time.
In the West when a kid has an inappropriate response to a situation, like laughing at someone in pain, they call it Asperger's Syndrome. Here it's called culture.
When a customer tells you that your driver is unsafe (even by Cambodian standards) and has put your customers and $80,000 vehicle at serious risk smiling and laughing is never an appropriate response. When your mom is punched in the face by a criminal while the local police are home sleeping, smiling is never the right thing to do. Sorry.
Last edited by air stone on Fri Aug 07, 2015 3:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Oh yes, calling people with a downturned rather than upturned hand gesture is totally the same as laughing at a middle aged women being punched in the face by thieves. Totally!LTO wrote:You think gestures don't mean different things in different cultures? Should take even the most naive tourist but a couple of weeks on the road to figure that one out. Just a head up, that guy pointing with his lips is not blowing you kisses.air stone wrote:Another reason this is bullshit, locals are quite capable of getting angry and expressing it...LTO wrote:Gestures, even reflexive ones such as smiling, don't mean the same thing in every culture. It's a tourist mistake to imagine that they do.
Notice the smile. It doesn't mean what you think it does though.
Does a Kia really cost 80K in Cambodia? Man, they must be laughing all the way to the bank!
Seriously now, it's generally accepted that many people smile in situations of embarrassment or feeling nervous. Traveling with you is probably not that easy.
Seriously now, it's generally accepted that many people smile in situations of embarrassment or feeling nervous. Traveling with you is probably not that easy.
"Not my circus, not my monkeys" - KiR
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We were in Range Rover. The guy was driving over 130 km/h most of the time which is not appropriate anywhere in this country. The Cambodian with me was much more shaken than me and vomited.
Most the posters on this website clearly belong in this country. The pity is that they are allowed to travel back to the West freely to drink beer and smoke weed while so many bright young people here who hate the state of things aren't able to do so to pursue life, education and work in a civilized place.
Most the posters on this website clearly belong in this country. The pity is that they are allowed to travel back to the West freely to drink beer and smoke weed while so many bright young people here who hate the state of things aren't able to do so to pursue life, education and work in a civilized place.
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