Limericks How many can you remember? XXX
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- I have some social problems
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Limericks How many can you remember? XXX
Here's a few to start:
There once was a man from Kent.
Whose prick was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble.
He stuck it in double.
So instead of coming he went.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose prick was so long he could suck it
Said he once with a grin
And a wipe of his chin
If me ear was a cunt
I could fuck it
There once was a man from Peru
Who fell asleep in his canoe
While dreaming of Venus
He played with his penis
Woke up with a hand full of goo
There once once a lady from Whelan
She had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
There once was a man from Kent.
Whose prick was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble.
He stuck it in double.
So instead of coming he went.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose prick was so long he could suck it
Said he once with a grin
And a wipe of his chin
If me ear was a cunt
I could fuck it
There once was a man from Peru
Who fell asleep in his canoe
While dreaming of Venus
He played with his penis
Woke up with a hand full of goo
There once once a lady from Whelan
She had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
"A day without learning is a day lost!"
One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their knives and shot one another
She stood on the bridge at midnight
Her legs all a quiver
She coughed
And one fell off
And floated down the river
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their knives and shot one another
She stood on the bridge at midnight
Her legs all a quiver
She coughed
And one fell off
And floated down the river
Meum est propositum in taberna mori,
ut sint Guinness proxima morientis ori.
tunc cantabunt letius angelorum chori:
"Sit Deus propitius huic potatori."
ut sint Guinness proxima morientis ori.
tunc cantabunt letius angelorum chori:
"Sit Deus propitius huic potatori."
There was a young man from Devizes
Who's balls were of different sizes
One were so small
It were no ball at all,
But the other won several prizes
There once was a Rabbi from Leith
Who circumcised boys with his teeth
Twas done not for leisure
Nor sexual pleasure
But to get to the cheese underneath.
Who's balls were of different sizes
One were so small
It were no ball at all,
But the other won several prizes
There once was a Rabbi from Leith
Who circumcised boys with his teeth
Twas done not for leisure
Nor sexual pleasure
But to get to the cheese underneath.
Massive stalker
There once was a woman from Crew
Who filled her vagina with glue
When asked why she did it
She said they pay to get in it
They can pay to get out of it too.
Sent from my SM-C710F using Tapatalk
Who filled her vagina with glue
When asked why she did it
She said they pay to get in it
They can pay to get out of it too.
Sent from my SM-C710F using Tapatalk
TheGrimReaper wrote: ↑Mon Sep 02, 2019 1:45 pmSlavedog, you do not belong on this forum as you talk too much sense.
Roses are red
Violet is blue
The stain on my pants
Reminds me of you.
Violet is blue
The stain on my pants
Reminds me of you.
pew, pew, pew, pew!
I know a chap named Dave,... (real name deleted by Admin)
Who keeps a dead whore in his Cave.
He said " I admit
I'm a bit of a shit.
But think of the money I save ..
Who keeps a dead whore in his Cave.
He said " I admit
I'm a bit of a shit.
But think of the money I save ..
Men are from Mars
Women are from Venus
We like cars
They like .....
Women are from Venus
We like cars
They like .....
Meum est propositum in taberna mori,
ut sint Guinness proxima morientis ori.
tunc cantabunt letius angelorum chori:
"Sit Deus propitius huic potatori."
ut sint Guinness proxima morientis ori.
tunc cantabunt letius angelorum chori:
"Sit Deus propitius huic potatori."
- Playboy
- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
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Cash does not rhyme with Venus ??!?,Spigzy wrote:Men are from Mars
Women are from Venus
We like cars
They like .....
"We, the sons of John Company, have arrived"
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There once was a boy from Japan
Who's limericks never quite went to plan
When he was asked why
He'd always sigh
And say, "I always try and fit far too many syllables into the last line"
Who's limericks never quite went to plan
When he was asked why
He'd always sigh
And say, "I always try and fit far too many syllables into the last line"
My posts are just jokes, maybe they're rude, offensive, and politically incorrect. They're not my opinion, viewpoint, idea, or judgement, but they're just fucking jokes so lighten up.
- Playboy
- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
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- Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2003 6:30 pm
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Be careful with those limericks guys, they can be just a small step away from a crime !!?
What The actual Fuck ?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/0 ... -limerick/
What The actual Fuck ?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/0 ... -limerick/
"We, the sons of John Company, have arrived"
I can never go back. Exiled by the PC fools to live out my days in foreign lands. Luckily I like it here.Playboy wrote:Be careful with those limericks guys, they can be just a small step away from a crime !!?
What The actual Fuck ?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/0 ... -limerick/
TheGrimReaper wrote: ↑Mon Sep 02, 2019 1:45 pmSlavedog, you do not belong on this forum as you talk too much sense.
- Playboy
- 20,000 Posts; I need professional help !
- Reactions: 288
- Posts: 24827
- Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2003 6:30 pm
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Can you imagine these Twonks overhearing our average conversation in a bar, on a lazy Sunday afternoon, drinking away ...slavedog wrote:I can never go back. Exiled by the PC fools to live out my days in foreign lands. Luckily I like it here.Playboy wrote:Be careful with those limericks guys, they can be just a small step away from a crime !!?
What The actual Fuck ?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/0 ... -limerick/
There heads would explode
"We, the sons of John Company, have arrived"
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- I have some social problems
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- Posts: 518
- Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2019 10:49 am
Is it politically incorrect to say transgenders are a joke?slavedog wrote:I can never go back. Exiled by the PC fools to live out my days in foreign lands. Luckily I like it here.Playboy wrote:Be careful with those limericks guys, they can be just a small step away from a crime !!?
What The actual Fuck ?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/0 ... -limerick/
"A day without learning is a day lost!"
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