Dear Raffles Hotel Le Royal

Cambodia”s number one email hoaxer is considering a stay at Le Royal Hotel. He has some very particular requirements.

From: “gavin mac”
Subject: Reservation
To: [email protected]

Dear Raffles Hotel Le Royal

I am interested in reserving a room at your hotel from November 23rd through the 26th. It is important for me to know the absolute cheapest room rate that you have, because I am from Scotland.

Can I make one special request? I travel with my own toilet spray device. When I check into the room, I would like your permission to disconnect your toilet sprayer and attach my own. Don”t worry, I know how to do this.

I need to use a special toilet spray device because I have a medical condition called “crappus stickius” that mandates greater buttocks-cleaning power than a regular toilet sprayer provides. I have therefore built my own, state of the art toilet sprayer, using a very high pressure hydraulic pump and a hose and nozzle I stole from a New York City fire truck. I call my invention the Bowel Blaster 3000. Believe me, this thing does the job! It”s a big improvement over my Bowel Blaster 2000, which was really just a small plastic squirt pistol affixed to the collar of a remarkably uncooperative French poodle named Jean Pierre.

I promise that I will re-attach your wimpy toilet sprayer before I check out. You won”t even know that my device was ever installed. Except that when I am using the BB3K, the lights in nearby rooms may dim a bit. Oh, and you will probably receive a moderately higher water bill at the end of the month. Especially if your restaurant serves chili.

Anyway, please let me know if you have availability from November 23rd – 26th. Also, I would like to know when you hold your drawings and what prizes you offer.

Sincerely,

GAVIN MAC

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