You’ve spent a bit of time with her, you like her, and now you have an important decision to make. No, not about marrying her yet, you moron. I’m talking about a more long-lasting decision. You need to decide whether or not to “friend” her on Facebook.
This is a situation fraught with potential pitfalls, but I’m not going to dwell on the negatives here. Instead, I simply present the seven reasons why you should friend Cambodian women on Facebook.
1. Facebook is the best way to investigate a Cambodian woman’s life history.
If you go on a first date with a Western woman, you can get an idea pretty quickly about what kind of woman she is. You’ll probably learn about her upbringing, does she speak English like a white trash skank, how many times has she been married or engaged, etc. You can also subtly cross-examine a Western chick and find out if her overall life story makes sense. If she tells you “I dropped out of high school and immediately got a job as an airline pilot,” you will know that she is lying. Ideally, by the end of that first date with a Western woman, you will at least have a good idea whether she has ever worked as a hooker.
It is much harder to figure out a Cambodian woman’s background simply by talking to her. There’s usually a language barrier and a culture barrier, and the Cambodian women you encounter in areas frequented by foreigners can be quite skilled at obfuscation.
Imagine that a rather cute 24 year-old waitress with good English skills starts working at your favorite respectable restaurant. If you ask her where else she has worked or lived, she’s not going to say, “Oh, that’s a funny story. I moved to Phnom Penh to work at Pussycat Bar, and then I spent two years living in Frankfurt with a German husband who liked to shit on me during sex.”
Instead, she will say something like this. “I stay home. Never work. Have problem with my stomach. Study in school. Help my mother in the market.” If you press her for details, she will probably respond with giggles or claims not to understand you. You will have no idea if she is telling you the truth, or how she paid for that Samsung Galaxy S3 she’s always playing with.
This is where “friending” her on Facebook becomes essential. Facebook is the great Cambodian chick truth detector. The first thing you should do after “friending” her is look at her list of Facebook friends. If most of her friends look like slutty bargirls and creepy sexpats, that’s an extremely bad sign.
Next, look at all of her Facebook photos. Photos have no language barrier, and photos don’t lie. Except for those “skinny” pictures of Kirstie Alley.
Ideally, a “good” Cambodian girl’s Facebook photos should never show her doing anything that costs any money at all. Any photos of the girl traveling to any place other than Phnom Penh or her home village should be viewed with immediate suspicion. Travel is an expensive luxury for most Cambodians. Young Cambodian women generally can’t afford to go anywhere unless they are being supported by a white dude. So even if there’s no white dude in that photo of a Cambodian woman standing in front of the Petronas Towers, it just means that her white boyfriend took the photo.
Even simple, everyday photos of Cambodian women can be loaded with telling clues. You should print out every photo of the girl in high resolution, and then scrutinize it with a magnifying glass like you’re examining a grainy Loch Ness Monster snapshot. Look at what she is wearing, who she is with, and what restaurant she seems to be at. Ask yourself questions. “Where does this girl get the money to eat at Stonegrill?” “Could she be turning tricks? She’s supposed to be a student.” “Is that the reflection of a French guy in her salad fork?”
2. Facebook will tell you which other guys she has had sex with or is about to have sex with.
When you look at the girl’s Facebook “friends” list, pay particular attention to any white guys in that list. White guys are bad news. She’s obviously not related to them, so who the hell are they? Well, about ⅓ of her white male Facebook friends will probably be guys she has had sex with. Another ⅓ are white guys who want to have sex with her. The remaining ⅓ are her friends’ white husbands. Some of whom may nonetheless be trying to have sex with her.
Also, every attractive Cambodian woman has at least two or three Cambodian guys who are hopelessly in love with her. You’ll want to know who these guys are, because they will probably try to cockblock you at some point. Fortunately, these hapless Cambodian suitors are easily identifiable on Facebook. They are the guys who obsessively “like” all of the girl’s status updates and who frequently “tag” her in romantic pictures of rainbows, hearts, and animals having sex.
3. Facebook creates a permanent connection with the girl in case you ever misplace her.
If you temporarily lose track of a western woman, it’s usually not that hard to find her. You probably have mutual friends, or you know her address, or you know her last name and can google her. In a pinch, you could even hire a private investigator to track her down. Not that I’ve ever done that.
Cambodian women are a lot harder to find once they disappear. And they tend to disappear frequently and without warning. One day that cute 24 year-old waitress will be giggling and batting her eyes at you, and the next day you will walk into the restaurant and be told that she “stopped work.” Her friends and former co-workers will never tell you know where she went. They have a mafia-like code of silence on that. Even if the co-workers are not sworn to secrecy, they still won’t tell you, because they don’t want you to start spending your money at the girl’s new place of work instead of at the current place.
Without Facebook, you’d be out of luck in finding her. It’s not like you can just wander the streets of Phnom Penh asking everyone, “Do you know a girl named Sreymom? You know, short girl, dark skin, dark hair.” That hardly ever works.
4. Cambodian women post a lot of photos of themselves and their hot friends.
One of the worst things about being Facebook friends with Western women is that they are always posting photos of their kids. And white women who don’t have kids over-compensate by posting a bunch of photos of their fucking dogs.
Cambodian women mercifully refrain from doing this. They usually just post photos of themselves sitting around eating food with their sisters and their cute friends. If all the girls happen to get dolled up to go to a wedding or something, it is virtually guaranteed that they will post photos on Facebook. This is good. “Friending” Cambodian women vastly improves the eye candy in your daily Facebook feed.
My all-time favorite Facebook page is actually the one for “Cambodia Supermodels.” If you “friend” that page, you get a regular stream of photos of tall, thin, attractive Cambodian broads in cute outfits. Very nice.
5. A Cambodian woman’s Facebook status updates will tell you if she would make a good wife.
Facebook status updates give you excellent insight into a Cambodian woman’s emotional stability and her suitability for marriage to a foreign man. If you’re thinking about marrying a Cambodian woman and moving her to your country, you want a cheerful woman who can happily adapt to new cultures and new experiences. Someone who can handle the isolation and emotional detachment she may experience when you separate her from her family. Ideally, you also want a woman who isn’t batshit crazy.
Imagine if the woman in question frequently posts “Rain, rain make me boring,” and you’re thinking of marrying her and moving her to Galway. That’s not good. Does she constantly “like” photos of moto crash victims and “share” photos of women slitting their wrists? Maybe she wouldn’t make the best mother for your children.
There are basically six words that you never want to see in a Cambodian woman’s Facebook status updates. Those six words are “lonely,” “bored,” “sick,” “cry,” “headache,” and “knife.” If you see these six words, just walk away from the relationship. Then start scanning her cute friends’ Facebook profiles for a girl who usually posts that she is “lucky,” “happy,” and “up for something kinky today.” Jackpot.
6. Because have you ever tried to have an actual phone conversation with a Cambodian woman? It’s exhausting.
One of the best things about Facebook is that it allows you to interact with a Cambodian woman without having to talk to them on the phone. Phone-based relationships with Cambodian women are the worst. Cambodian women tend to call at odd hours to see of they can catch you with another woman. You can’t really understand what they’re saying over the phone, and then they like to hand the phone off so you can talk to their family members for absolutely no reason. This can be a genuine nuisance. If you “friend” Cambodian women on Facebook, you can then dodge their calls from time to time and just use Facebook chat to interact with them when it’s convenient for you. It’s quite liberating.
7. You can use your own Facebook profile to let Cambodian chicks know that you are capable of bedding white women.
Lastly, keep in mind that Facebook is not just a way for you to obtain information about Cambodian women, it’s also a way for you to share information with these women about yourself. Selective information, of course.
We all know that nothing makes any woman hornier than her realization that you can attract other women who are better looking than she is. Fortunately, Cambodian women think that all white women are better looking than they are. Use this to your advantage.
If you want to impress and attract Cambodian women via Facebook, all you have to do is post a bunch of photos of yourself with every white woman you have ever dated. That’s it. If you don’t have any photos of white ex-girlfriends, just post photos of yourself white any white woman you know — your female friends, your sister, any pale white chick will do.
It doesn’t even matter if the white woman you are pictured with is remotely attractive, because Cambodian chicks will still think she is “sa’art.” Even a photo of you with your arm around a ravishing beauty like your middle-aged Polish cleaning lady will give you instant sexual credibility with any Cambodian woman. Good luck.
Please stay tuned for my next article, which may or may not be titled 7 Reasons Why You Should Never “Friend” Cambodian Women on Facebook.