Cambodian parents want us engaged already!!
No one with experience of dealing with this kind of thing with girls families?
You’re buying into an unknown culture to be with a girl you barely know, whose family is already lining up to fill their pockets.
Would you marry a girl you just met if she was from your own country?
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- I live above an internet cafe
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There are three classes of people: those who see, those who see when they are shown, those who do not see. ~ Leonardo da Vinci
Only if you give it that narrative. Maybe I'm buying into an unknown culture to be with a girl I want to get to know, whose family have valid concerns that any parent would have and who are looking out for their daughter. I could be getting a lot more out of this than I'm putting in - depending on what that 'buy in' is of course haha.
No chance. And there's no chance I'll be marrying this one until I know her a great deal better. But is she someone I want to know better? Sure.
- Lucky Lucan
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Yes. My advice would be not to get married into a family of broke-ass leeches. Plenty of people come from humble backgrounds and there is nothing wrong with that but don't get involved with greedy parasites.
Romantic Cambodia is dead and gone. It's with McKinley in the grave.
You know a lot about Cambodian culture. You should go for it.Jakhud wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 11:33 pmMaybe I'm buying into an unknown culture to be with a girl I want to get to know, whose family have valid concerns that any parent would have and who are looking out for their daughter. I could be getting a lot more out of this than I'm putting in - depending on what that 'buy in' is of course haha.
They're asking you to get engaged, at which point you would have to agree the milk money. You don't want to get engaged, so you don't have to pay anything.
Tell them you like their daughter but you want to get to know her a lot more before you would think about marriage. In the meantime you'll promise to treat her with care and respect. If your girlfriend doesn't agree with you, or her parents insist and she can't go against them, then you walk away.
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IJR wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 2:10 amThey're asking you to get engaged, at which point you would have to agree the milk money. You don't want to get engaged, so you don't have to pay anything.
Tell them you like their daughter but you want to get to know her a lot more before you would think about marriage. In the meantime you'll promise to treat her with care and respect. If your girlfriend doesn't agree with you, or her parents insist and she can't go against them, then you walk away.
Who let sensibleness in the house?? This forum really is changing
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I’m not going to say run because I don’t know you or her or her parents, and there is a tendency on the internet for people to recommend breaking up as the solution to any relationship problem.
But, it does seem like you’ve got yourself into a situation where you’re heavily pressured to show more commitment than you’re willing to give. Your choice is between a bad relationship with her parents, vs getting manipulated into a marriage you don’t actually want; there’s no good choices here.
The money isn’t even particularly the issue (though bear in mind if you do take her out of the country, she’ll be sending money back to her parents every month for the rest of their lives whether she’s earning it or not).
Culture. I once had a girlfriend (who was crazy) while I was living in Moscow, and she told me these wise words: "Russia girl, Denmark girl, Japan Girl, USA girl. Girl is girl." Nothing in my life before or after has led me to think she was mistaken.
For the OP, I wouldn't think it was a good idea to move in a 19yo girl in with you. Chances are she's a virgin and her parents are probably worried you are going to take advantage of her. Even get her pregnant. I wouldn't want my 19yo daughter to move in with a man she just met, and to a foreign country where she doesn't speak the language or know any people, has no income, etc. That's an extremely vulnerable scenario for her.
If you are not ready to get engaged/married, then you should spend more time with her here in Cambodia, get to know each other better. And when you are ready to take the next step you can start the engagement and move in together.
On the other hand, you are not a boy, you are 30yo. You have a nice young girl that seems to like you, and whom you like. Her family approves. Don't twiddle your thumbs. Get married. Make babies.
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Yes, me and others who have contributed but you seem to not be listening.
Come over and spend time with her and if you are talking about marriage you should make the move here before you start the process of going ahead with a life changing decision.
(And FFS wear a condom)
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pew, pew, pew, pew!
And, this could be a ruse from your girlfriend to pressure you into something. There is no way of knowing it's actually them messaging you is there?
You need to either run (if it's the above) or get a translator once you are over.
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pew, pew, pew, pew!
- Srey Bourque
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Are you white?
How did you meet the lass?
And why are you communicating with her parents on Facebook? That’s weird.
How did you meet the lass?
And why are you communicating with her parents on Facebook? That’s weird.
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I have always thought that anyone who thinks they have to pay or does actually pay milk money is a total fuckin moron.
"I am paying for the wedding....that's my contribution".
Lay down the law early.
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